I tried THIS and it actually works all the time
Submitted 1 week ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/fb5117d6-2780-4d6e-9cce-9a27583bc7b3.jpeg
Comments
Spezi@feddit.org 1 week ago
BearGun@ttrpg.network 1 week ago
That’s a kingly gift right there, gotta be expensive af
jade52@lemmy.ca 1 week ago
I hope they ended up getting married.
Spezi@feddit.org 1 week ago
I heard they had a cheesy wedding
ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
thank god you circled it, I wasn’t sure what was being pointed at
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 1 week ago
You may fascinate online audiences by showing them the same pic of cheese quote 9 billion times per week.
shani66@ani.social 1 week ago
What kind of cheese? That changes the outcome for be significantly.
musubibreakfast@lemm.ee 1 week ago
A piece of brie get you a one night stand, a slice of gouda gets you a date. Grated parmesan gets you a hand job. A steady supply of varied cheeses spread out over multiple months will get you a wife.
Of course every woman is different, but in general the age and quality of the cheese determines what you’ll receive in exchange.
And in case you’re wondering, a kraft single gets you a slap in the face.
SamB@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Let’s talk about some aged goat cheese directly from Tuscany.
Tungsten5@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Duley noted. This may work better than my method of crying and begging for affection. So far, zero percent success rate
stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Maybe you need to cry even harder?
lath@lemmy.world 1 week ago
So you’re saying there’s a chance anyone fascinated with a piece of cheese might be a woman?
alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 1 week ago
Lets test that: 🧀
Are you a woman now?
lena@gregtech.eu 1 week ago
Who needs estrogen when you have c h e e s e
shani66@ani.social 1 week ago
… Maybe.
WereCat@lemmy.world 1 week ago
You’ve got it all wrong. Any woman with fascination might be a cheese.
lath@lemmy.world 1 week ago
And here i was hoping any fascination is a woman cheesing it.
RidderSport@feddit.org 1 week ago
owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 1 week ago
You may fascinate just about anyone by giving them a piece of cheese.
Muaddib@sopuli.xyz 1 week ago
White people love cheese
boonhet@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Do non-white people not love it?
gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
On average non-whites are like 60-90% lactose intolerant
My pasty-ass ancestors are the dipshits who figured out sucking cow titty can work, most of the rest of humanity didn’t try it and never developed the genes needed for it as a result
Muaddib@sopuli.xyz 1 week ago
They do. But you give the meanest white man a piece of cheese, he turn into Mr Rogers
noxypaws@pawb.social 1 week ago
Grandad, you can’t tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese
Etterra@discuss.online 1 week ago
This spell has mixed results with my fiance; she LOVES cheese but is horribly allergic to it. Not life-threatening, but painfully bad.
notabot@lemm.ee 1 week ago
According to the book, there’s no need for them to eat it, you just have to give it to them, although I think they may have mixed up ‘fascinate’ and ‘confuse’.
Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Is she allergic to it because of the lactose? We can already make vegan cheese that’s the exact same as real cheese (literally, I don’t mean it just tastes the same) except that it doesn’t contain lactose. There’s a company in Europe that’s ready to mass produce it but the EU is taking their time with giving them the permit to sell it. I don’t know how the situation is where you live.
mosiacmango@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Cheddar, swiss and parm tend to be very low lactose based on how they are made too.
Likely not low enough for someone with a bad allergy, but mostly fine for run of the mill lactose intolerance.
TheProtagonist@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Fun fact: I almost lost a GF once, due to a lack of cheese (in my refrigerator).
Whelks_chance@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I love the ambiguity of what you’re supposed to throw in the river
maniclucky@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I love what appears to be a citation.
Geodad@lemm.ee 1 week ago
I’m not a woman, but that will work on me.
HKPiax@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Cheese nuts
sirimeow@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Cheese is good
JudahBenHur@lemm.ee 1 week ago
i had this book when I was an edgy teenager in my middle class bedroom rubbing olive oil on taper candles from the grocery store and… wait this is sounding like something different entirely
Mickey7@lemmy.world 1 week ago
where are those candles winding up?
JudahBenHur@lemm.ee 1 week ago
yeah i know it dawned on me quite quickly where it sounded like that was heading…
these “white magic” paperback books from Borders would have you anoint candles with oil to like, I dont fuckin know, endow them with your intention (Id wish the girl in algebra would notice me, so the book’d tell you to think about her while putting oil on a pink candle so when you burn it your “spell” would go into the air or some crap)
that particular book there though was page after page like that where it said shit like “for protection from your enemies wrap some wire around leaf and put it under your doormat”
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
I love that the one about hurling hair accessories at moving bodies of water has a footnote and that there’s already been 12 other such clarifications in this treatise 😄
MissJinx@lemmy.world 1 week ago
As a woman I agree
Apocalypteroid@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Would you like a babybel?
Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
As a man I wanted to clarify that I am also easily fascinated by cheese
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Fascinate in the sense that she’ll spend the next five minutes confused as to why you gave her cheese.
despicable@lemmy.today 1 week ago
That explains one of the companion side quests in Dragon Age: Veilguard haha, literally just had that cutscene
madjo@feddit.nl 1 week ago
This dude doesn’t like cheese, I’ll leave it all to women to eat.
Mrkawfee@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Smell my cheese!
programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
Oh boy, here I go throwing maidens to rivers
vane@lemmy.world 1 week ago
It finally makes sense, Tom is a man and Jerry is a woman.
Ichmaldas@feddit.org 1 week ago
Image
Enkrod@feddit.org 1 week ago
Die Welt braucht mehr von dir 🤩
SomGye@dormi.zone 1 week ago
I love this 👌
Quadhammer@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Shitty water colors younger cousin