If it would solve world hunger, what would be the largest item you could fit in your ass?

Comments

• Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You could shove a 747 up my ass if it would solve world hunger. I’ll take one for the team.

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  • NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You might not live after that one. 747s aren’t known to be that reliable.

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    • adarza@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      it’ll blow a door, drop an engine, and veer off-course before crashing, long before it got to ya.

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  • KingJalopy@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Love to see the black box on that one

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    • Anissem@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      It would probably be more brown and blood colored

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  • satans_methpipe@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    At least you know it’ll be easier since the landing gears won’t deploy.

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  • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Won’t fit. Conditions not met. World still hungry. You did it for nothing.

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• dharmacurious@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Assuming this actually solves world hunger, and isn’t a fine print scenario like that one comment suggests:

  Pretty much whatever. If it solves the suffering of billions of people, and it actually works, then you have free reign to rip me open. Hell, you can shove a bowling pin up my urethra if it means it’ll solve world hunger. My horrid pain and suffering is not worth the unimaginable pain of millions or billions of other (and trillions and quadrillions when we’re talking about future generations never suffering as we have).

  As Christians we are called to be like Christ, and while I never imagined that this would be scenario in which one suffers for the pain of all, then, yeah, sign me up. But don’t give me a safe word. I’ll back out once the slightest amount of pain starts. Got my consent beforehand, but don’t let me take that consent back. Lol

  That said, if we’re talking “how big a thing can you fit up your ass, if it’s big enough it solves world hunger, but you don’t know that yet, just what’s the max range of your asshole”

  Then, with some training, I could probably go pretty big. I can do 12ish inches with a lot of prep time (talking a couple weeks), and I got pretty brutally fucked with a baseball bat one time, that’s a little over 8 inches and not tapered, so take that for what you will

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• frickineh@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Is there like, prep time? Or do you just have to decide and make it happen on the spot?

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  • Anissem@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You can have the prep time you need.

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• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  From my time on Reddit, I’m pretty sure that, scientifically, the largest thing anyone could fit in their ass is a raccoon.

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  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    True that. Gotta go for a whole “gaze” of coons

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  • Cruxifux@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    What sub on Reddit taught you that?!?

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    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      it’s reddit, so it could have been any of a hundred that are now banned, and dozens more that aren’t.

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  • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Pretty sure two animals would suffer that day.

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• TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  How many Sharpies we talking here?

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  • Anissem@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    One singular item please

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    • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      But the standard unit of measurement is /r/buttsharpies. This is outrageous.

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• pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If it really really came down to it I could probably fit something with a 9" circumference, though it would take me a couple hours of warm up and relaxation. I have a toy that’s 8.5" circumference that I can take, but not easily. That’s what, an eggplant? A rolling pin? A standard single serving soda bottle? Somewhere around there

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  • dharmacurious@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I have an inflatable toy that starts out at 6.5(but is too floppy. Gotta inflate to 7" to get it firm enough for insertion). It goes all the way to 18", which is absolutely fucking insane. I’ve managed give or take 13, after much, much practice and patience and warming up. But around 9 is the extreme edge of my sweet spot.

    My other inflatable goes from 6-11, and I prefer it, but the problem with inflatables is you almost have to stand to use them, otherwise you hit the air valve on the base and they deflate. Disappointing to say the least

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• southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  A raccoon.

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  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Whoa whoa whoa whoa…whenever I talk about how humans are the weirdest species thats ever existed, I always include this line:

    “Like, you don’t see bears out in the wild, hunting down live mice, which are then kept alive and used for the sole purpose of the bear shoving the live mouse up it’s own butthole for sexual gratification. Bears don’t do that. No animal does that. Only humans have been known to shove a mouse up its own ass just to feel it scurry around inside them.”

    That line usually gets equal amounts of cringe and laughter. But it proves my point about how weird humans are.

    And now you’re like “uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh…hey, let’s use a raccoon!”

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• Beastlygr@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  In this situation, I would recommend grape seed oil. It has a higher smoking point.

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  • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Coconut oil is what I recommend for an oil for lube. Both solid and liquid work well, the solid formwlts easily with body heat. It smells nice and is also good for your skin!

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    • dharmacurious@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I generally recommend condom safe lubes so you can use toy protectors for anal play, but if you’re using oil coconut is the way to go. Always keep some on hand. Great shelf life, too

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  • DemBoSain@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Trust me, I’m not going to be rapidly pushing it in and out…at least not at first…

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• SelfProgrammed@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Can we make it a CEOs asshole so it’s a win-win situation?

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• edgemaster72@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  idk but it better have a flared base

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• electric@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Jesus, found a Black Mirror writer.

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• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Well now hold on. I have some questions before I commit.

  What part of this action is solving world hunger?

  Because it seems to me this feels like one of those fine print situations. You stick a bunch of giant painful humiliating shit in your ass, and a bunch of wealthy elite assholes laugh at your suffering. The next day you read that people are still starving in other countries.

  So you go and try to find out what the fuck is going on. That’s when you find out that the contract was only good for making sure that enough food for everyone on earth is PRODUCED. And it is. It always has been. Nothing in the contract states anything about that food then being evenly distributed.

  In essense, we’ve always made enough food, and then throw the bulk away. This whole big thing up your butthole contest was just a scheme by the the elite to laugh at plebs sticking bowling balls up their asses, and ripping their anus open. That’s their version of comedy central.

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• lurch@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Your mom

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• recentSloth43@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  The anal gods are asking for another sacrifice

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• LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Is there a size requirement for the world hunger solving? I’m confused by the question

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  • Anissem@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The larger the size, the better chance of solving all world hunger

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    • jacksilver@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I’m not sure you understand what causes world hunger.

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• Alice@hilariouschaos.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Asking the real questions

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• cheese_greater@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  There should be a c/TotallyGuessing like an anti-ThatHappened or I guess thats what OddlySpecificnis 4

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• tobogganablaze@lemmus.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If it takes more than like a finger people will continue to starve.

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• NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I don’t usually hide the food when I want others to be less hungry :-)

  Butt I find the question tasteless on so many levels.

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• over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Elon Musk’s mom.

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