why does everyone i know treat me like a child or if i was a very childlike person??

Comments

• bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If you want to appear older online you should write properly. Proper capitalisation and sentences make your text easier to read. As it is they look like an uninterrupted stream of consciousness.

  This might also help you offline. Try to structure your thoughts before giving them to the world. This takes time but should go a long way on making you seem like you got your shit together.

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  • Jobe@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I subconsciously skipped the entire text after a few words and didn’t even realize or think about why until I saw this comment. OPs style of writing is exhausting. If they talk like that in person, that would explain a lot.

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  • bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    they never used a period

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• UncleBadTouch@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  ok, being honest here.

  i remember you from a while back (old posts) and being straight up, you do seem kinda young and childlike. I do not know how old you really are, but if i was guessing, 14-16.

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  • False@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The way the post is written reads like something written by someone in that age range too.

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  • adrianhooves@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    ok thanks, but i’m 21 yep!!

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    • Siegfried@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I have a master II equivalent in material science and a specialization in nuclear reactors, 33 years.

      The difference between being* a child or not, as I learned, is the facial hair.

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    • StaticFalconar@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      That may be your physical age, but the way you type and act online your mental age seems way younger.

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    • Azzu@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      It’s really hard to give you any advice if we don’t know you. It’d really require a longer conversation talking about you and your life, the situations you’ve been in, and so on.

      If you’d like, we could have that conversation, just tell me.

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  • fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I’m leaning towards a thought experiment bot at this point.

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    • UncleBadTouch@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      While I cant rule it out with chat GPT and AI the way it is today, I remember some of the posts they have made in other communities I’m in and I’m leaning to human. I recognize the writing style on multiple accounts, its unique for sure

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  • someacnt@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Are you talking about me? 'cause I am like that.

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• FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Your use of punctuation reminds people of when they’ve seen posts by 11-14 year olds. Do you not notice that adults in general don’t do that?

  I expect if you’re unaware of something like that so immediately apparent to everyone in this thread that you may have other quirks and behaviours that strike people as childish.

  If you sincerely want to change that you’re going to need to ask the frank opinion of someone who knows you in person…

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  • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Fr fr no cap

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• Lauchs@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If you talk at all like you’ve written, I would treat you like a child too.

  Maturity has nothing to do with your calendar age.

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• schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You are one of the very few users here on Lemmy I recognize, and it is not because you’ve been posting very intelligent things. In fact you posted this exact question once already (but seem to have deleted it by now).

  I remember being 21 and I was more mature at 21 than you appear to be based on your post and comment history here, in fact I think I was more mature than you are now at around 14.

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  • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    this sounds a bit harsh, but look at OPs history and its actually true.

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  • otp@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I don’t know how it happens, but I agree with you. I don’t know how I’m able to recognize more users on Lemmy than on Reddit by how spammy their genuine posts and comments are.

    I’ve blocked more people on Lemmy than on Reddit.

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  • adrianhooves@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    yes, i posted it again but that’s because i feel like i deleted it too soon, also really?? more mature at 14?? woa!! yea!! that seems like a very cool thing

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    • Strykker@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You speak and act like a 13 year old trying to be a “mature adult”.

      Also the idea of deleting a post then going oh whoops I wanted more feedback on that let me make another just seems odd. Like just make a post once and leave it, delete it if you get harrasedd about it I guess but don’t go making a new one in that case.

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• trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I don’t know your situation, but I’ve noticed that people tend to do this to people who act immaturely. Your writing style, especially the use of 3 exclamation marks per sentence seems quite childish. If you talk in a similar way, that might have something to do with it.

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  • someacnt@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    !!!

    /j

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    • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      ‘Multiple exclamation marks,’ he went on, shaking his head, ‘are a sure sign of a diseased mind.’ – Terry Pratchett in Eric

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• djsoren19@yiffit.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Probably because you’re a child.

  Sorry but I work with college students, if you’re not 25+ you’re another one of those children to me. Your writing style is very similar to theirs; it’s very stream-of-consciousness with overuse of punctuation to try and accentuate your “points.”

  Grow up, get your spirit destroyed by the world, realize you can keep living without it, and I’m sure other adults will start to treat you like one.

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• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  From what I can tell by your posts, you are treated like a child because you talk and act like a child.

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  • adrianhooves@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    but i am growing up and besides i have no other way of talking,i’m sorry, i’m still learning too but thank you for the advice!!

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    • azulavoir@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      “But I am growing up. And besides, I have no other way of talking, I’m sorry, I’m still learning. But thank you for the advice!”

      Try this.

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  • ComradeMiao@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I also went through only to see if what you said is true and you’re just being a jerk.

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• DarkNightoftheSoul@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  i wonder

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• otp@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Did the answers you got the last time(s?) you posted this question not tell you what you wanted to hear?

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• jbrains@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Think of the people who seem to do this to you. Pick the one who trust the most. Now ask them.

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• rottingleaf@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Do the RAADS-R test. In case it’s more than 120 (I think that’s the number, but it has a description), you may want to read what autism is and whether you may have seen some of the traits in you, and then may visit a psychiatrist.

  I say that because autistic people often imitate some style of speech in circumstances not quite fitting.

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  • y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Did this along with a few others earlier in the year and I’m getting evaluated next week!

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    • rottingleaf@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I got my diagnosis less than a week ago.

      I’ve stumbled upon description of something called “Asperger’s syndrome” on a printed A4 sheet, being like 12 years old, but that description was somewhat enigmatic and I couldn’t tell how different it is from normalcy. I’ve also read about Carrie Fisher’s life after Star Wars and that she had BAD.

      So since that time I suspected that I might be autistic and have bipolar, but thought that condition names are for doctors, while for laymen it’s better to say that people are different. So only when I reach a doctor and get a diagnosis, it’ll be certain. The approach itself is kinda autistic.

      Then somewhere around year 2018 I’ve, eh, remembered\imagined a lot of things connected to emotional trauma, and came with these idiosyncrasies to a state medical institution (it’s Russia) where they just assumed it’s simple type schizophrenia (typical Russia again).

      Now, being 28 years old, I finally have a normal diagnosis of ASD and BAD and no ADHD. I was certain I have ADHD, but paying attention to my own behavior - I see things architecturally wrong which I still have to work with, or meaningless things, and may seem like an ADHD person, but an ADHD person can’t focus, while I can’t start due to disgust of something.

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• BlindFrog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  ikr, like fr, sometimes i think it’s because maybe i’m just, like, short, but wtf no joke, one of my closest friends rn is shorter than me and with my other friends, i still get treated like i was less mature?? one time one of my coworkers actually said that, not cool wth, and i feel a bit outcast when they all act like that, like, this is just how I talk, so why can’t they respect that i’m pretty much the same generation as you guys, i slouch just like they do, and sometimes they have even worse posture, but then like why do they have to low key drop these bad vibes on me, cause ong, it’s so demeaning when they say something slow like they think they’re being thoughtful, and maybe sometimes the nice people really are, but mostly they come across sarcastic and fake!!! but i can deal with, most of the time, idk

  Back into the spirit of c/NoStupidQuestions – follow up question! What do you think they believe Proper Adults act and speak like?

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  • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I mean, just the way you type makes me read it in a squeaky voice lmao

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  • Agrivar@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Wow, based on how you write, you and the OP both seem very young. Do you also talk in a stream-of-consciousness manner?

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    • BlindFrog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Firstly, * woosh *? Or am I being wooshed? Haha. Happy new year!

      Also, nah, my dude. I’m incredibly grateful to’ve had great English/English comp teachers since 7th grade. You make me blush; it’s not an exact copy of op’s writing style here, but I tried :3

      This dude hit the nail on the head, imo lemmy.world/comment/14218130
      Speaking and writing in a human-readable way does take practice and time.

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• Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  My oldest daughter is 21, but she’s still “one of the kids”.

  I know she’s an adult now and will be finishing college next year, and out loving her own life very soon, but she’s still my child. Even though you can go do anything an adult can do, you are still the same “child” that you’re family has known since you were born. It’s going to take time for them to get used to that.

  Legally, turning 18 instantly makes you an adult, but it’s going to take a lot longer than that for other people to realize it.

  Also, early twenty something’s ARE still kids. Very few people that age have actually “grown up”.

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  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    41 year old here. Can confirm. I remember being 18 in my first apartment. I also remember doing a ton of stupid kid shit. My dad gave us a cucumber on our first night. Despite having no food in the house and a combined $6 between my girlfriend and I, we instead took that cucumber and hit it over my friends back so it broke in 2. Don’t worry, he was part of it. It’s not like I just randomly attacked my friend with vegitables. It was like the christening of a ship. Where they break a bottle of champaigne over the front. And then we all cheered…and then laughed, as my friend was still in deep pain.

    41 now. 18 year old me was a stupid kid.

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• IronKrill@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  There are various reasons people may treat you as if you’re younger. I would bet the primary reason is no matter how much you think you’ve grown up, those changes have to be seen outwardly for a while before people that knew you as a kid will accept it. It took until 24 or 25 before I felt people had stopped treating me with kid hands. Keep in mind as well that as people get older, younger people start blending together a bit and a 20 year old does not seem as mature from a 30-40’s perspective. It’s similar to how younger people often have a hard time telling apart old people’s ages and they all seem “old”. The final point I’d make is that swearing isn’t something all adults do and is not related to maturity. It can be a sign of familiarity between certain people though. Swearing around family members is either something that comes with time or never, really depends on your parents/relatives.

  Trying to push these issues in an “I’m a big boy now!” manner will generally backfire and get you treated young for longer, because it’s a very childish thing to do. I am not all-knowing so I don’t like giving absolute advice, but personally I think the best thing you can do is not worry so much about it and continue acting in a responsible manner. If you show yourself to be mature, others will realise and treat you as such. If they don’t then either you’re not as mature as you think or you should find someone who you can have a more level conversation with. It’s not so bad being young, anyway, you will miss it when people always look at you like an adult!

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• RonnieB@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Stop being a furry. Stop saying “swearing” and “like”. Stop the extra exclamation.

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  • vzq@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Stop being a furry.

    Furries keep the Internet running. Anger them at your own peril.

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    • Enkers@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      It’s true. All the hamster furries run in big wheels to keep the tube pressure up and the packets flowing.

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  • IronKrill@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Plenty of mature adults are furries and are treated as adults. This is not helpful advice.

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  • adrianhooves@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    i will not stop being a furry, i deeply apologize. i shall stop or at least try to stop saying the word “like”. i am grateful and i appreciate it

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    • Mistic@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Not that I’ve looked up your post history as well as the way you type. Everything just screams “14 y.o. girl.” There’s a lot of personality, a lot of bubbliness, everything’s "hyper. " It’s just not something you’d expect of an adult. Adults are usually more reserved and “battle-worn.” I’d also look at the wardrobe, especially if you’re of smaller stature.

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• sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You should look into checking if you are autistic. We get infantilized a lot

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  • adrianhooves@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    i did get checked that before but they said no, no autism for me!!

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• lurch@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You probably don’t mention taxes and stocks enough.

  Also, phrases like “back in the day” and “in my youth days” help.

  When you are with people in person, try to sit straight and when standing/walking try to look like a superhero all times.

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• Foxfire@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If you just mean your relatives, it’s important to know that what constitutes ‘young’ changes as you age. As someone in their 30s now, early 20s and below feels young to me personally. If your relatives are much older than you, especially if they saw you growing up, it’s likely you’ll seem young to them forever. That isn’t to say you should be infantilized your whole life, but just that it stems from differences in perception. If you feel like you’re being treated lesser than other adults, try to tactfully explain how you feel. Maybe you’re feeling excluded and that hurts, or perhaps being called certain things is belittling to you. Ultimately though, the most important thing is that tact, because it’s very likely not malicious, your relatives likely aren’t trying to make you feel small or invalidated.

  As for anyone else in the street, or perhaps online, there’s usually something that makes people naturally assume youth. I don’t know what you look like obviously, but online you typically have very little information to work with. Usually just the words that are spoken, and maybe an avatar to go along with it. A number of people have pointed out your typing style already. I won’t belabor the point, but I will say first impressions are extremely quick to make, and quite influential. I personally try to talk to anyone with tact and just ‘as a person’, but it’s something I feel doesn’t come naturally. I really only ended up doing it because of a long time doing moderation type roles and having to mediate issues with people and events.

  Tl;Dr: It sucks, but people probably aren’t doing it to hurt you. Talk patiently to them, also type more formally.

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• Boozilla@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  People mature at different rates. There are myriad reasons for this. But it’s OK to be a little bit immature for your age. There’s no shame in it and it’s very common. Being an adult mostly sucks, anyway. You’re already aware of it, so that’s a good thing. Pay attention to social cues and behaviors of your peers and you’ll figure it out.

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• False@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  How much of an age gap is there? Do you look young? How do you act?

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  • adrianhooves@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    most of the people i know are my same age or just a few years older, a very good friend of mine is 19 tho, and yea i think i look young, and i act ok, no swearing, stuff like that

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    • adespoton@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I think I covered this the last time you posted, but swearing isn’t a sign of maturity. It’s generally a sign of limited vocabulary.

      Also, “being treated like a child” is an interesting statement. I know I tend to go into any conversation with someone of ANY age treating them like they may be totally ignorant of the topic at hand, but are likely bright enough to pick it up pretty quickly. Age rarely factors into it.

      But if someone appears to be attention seeking and inauthentic, pretending they know things/people they don’t, and trying to act how they think someone else wants them to act instead of just being themselves… that’s when the “OK buddy” comes out. It means “I’ve discovered I can’t have a real conversation with you and you’ve used up my patience to coach you along.”

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