jbrains
@jbrains@sh.itjust.works
- Comment on Not disparaging the dead or anything. But why does it seem in the US we are expected to feel sorry for a person who overdoses on illegal drugs? Didn't they make the choice knowing the outcome? 15 hours ago:
There is an emerging field of research that reframes addiction as a reasonable reaction to traumatic conditions. This doesn’t explain all addiction, but it seems to explain a large amount of it. We are learning how complex a condition addiction can be and that makes it easier to feel compassion for these folks.
- Comment on What do you create? 1 day ago:
A hopeful path towards peace for people who struggle with stress at their job.
- Comment on What's the point of a long-distance friendship? 3 weeks ago:
In that case, I’m not sure you’re missing anything and I’m not even sure you have a problem to solve here.
- Comment on What's the point of a long-distance friendship? 3 weeks ago:
I understand better. I might relate, too.
I’m not the type to keep relationships “alive” by checking in, but at the same time, when someone re-enters my life after even years, it can be as though no time had passed. If I can help, I will. We can chat for minutes or hours. I’m happy to pick up where we left off.
I have the distinct impression that many other people don’t operate this way. I do. Do you?
- Comment on What's the point of a long-distance friendship? 3 weeks ago:
The same as any friendship: mutual support and love. What you’re describing sounds like an acquaintance to me, not a friend, if conversations don’t develop past small talk. Maybe that’s what you’re missing.
- Comment on Why do cell phones have a data limit but home internet doesn't? 3 weeks ago:
Where are my Rogers home internet customers at? 🇨🇦
- Comment on PayPal implements default data sharing with third parties: users must manually opt out 1 month ago:
Canadian. Didn’t see this option yet. Anyone else?
- Comment on Personally I prefer NASA's pronunciation, which is "charon". 1 month ago:
- Comment on There exists a position inside the earth where it is possible to cook a perfect pizza just by leaving it there 1 month ago:
Only if temperature distribution is a continuous function.
- Comment on We lost Keanu 1 month ago:
Anyone else remember when Joe Rogan was a harmless comedian?
- Comment on [USA] How can sales tax brackets affect purchasing behavior when prices are pre-tax? 1 month ago:
FWIW, both big chain grocery stores where I live (in Canada) mark the taxes charged on each item, albeit only with a single-character code that’s explained nearer the bottom of the receipt. I’m surprised that it’s legal anywhere in our respective countries to withhold that information.
And indeed, even though you can see the nontaxable items clearly on the receipt, that’s not made clear at the shelves where the prices are posted. That’s where they really need to show the price including taxes.
Some liquor stores in Canada, for example, show both prices: before and after taxes. I’ll let you guess which price is rendered in the smaller font.
- Comment on YouTube will shove ads in your face even when you pause videos 1 month ago:
I guess it’s time for a “mark this time so I can go back to it” feature, to reduce the need to pause. 🤷♂️
- Comment on how do I accept that a doctor earns more than double what I do? 2 months ago:
But I also feel like a loser, because even those ranting doctors earn more than twice what I do… and they get to sit for longer than I do.
Regretting my life choices.
What kind of “I also feel like a loser” is this feeling?
Maybe the sane choice here would be to study or to get a certification that means a higher salary?
What in particular would that get you? I mean beyond the obvious “More money would make my life easier” thought.
Peace.
- Comment on if you ever traveled 1K miles by bus, would you recommend it? 2 months ago:
I’ve never done this and would never do it, for all the reasons people have already described.
I would, however, choose a 6-hour train over a 2-hour flight, as long as I traveled in (European) first/business class with a seat reservation.
There is almost no amount of money that could convince me to travel 36 hours by bus if I could instead spend 5-6 hours going through airports and only one flight. If I literally didn’t have the money to fly, I would spend all my energy figuring out how not to go at all.
- Comment on Does a clean PC run better than one with a lot of dust in it? 2 months ago:
Yes.
Also a machine on fire tends to run a bit more slowly. 🔥😉
- Comment on what's a polite way to reject a picture with a very thankful patient who was under your care? 2 months ago:
You don’t need to explain yourself. Others need to learn to respect your choices about yourself. Yes, it’s tiring. It’s their fault, but partly your problem.
Your responsibility ends with “Thank you, but no.” Unfortunately, some people will feel hurt by this. You can’t change this; only they can choose to interpret your response differently. And most people never try this.
If you want to establish your boundaries, then you need to practise letting them feel hurt and not feeling responsible for it. This is one reason I meditate.
Peace.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
I believe that if you faced the judgment and self-hatred, the rest might fall into place. I have two general strategies to suggest, which you could use together.
- Practise looking at the thoughts like “I’m lazy” and “I hate myself of for being so lazy” and seeing them for the empty things they are. They’re just thoughts. They’re not even yours. They mean nothing. They consist of nothing.
- Look into the reasons for judging yourself lazy and hating yourself for it. Is there a voice you hear in your head saying these things? Whose voice is it? (Is it a person from your past or a part of yourself you can identify?) Maybe you’re reacting to something you were told or taught very young, which was helpful at the time, but not helpful any more.
Your body wants to conserve energy or it’s afraid of overinvesting energy in practising the piano. If you saw that more clearly, you might more easily identify what to do next.
I stopped studying piano when I realized that I wasn’t prepared to put in the practice needed to develop the raw finger strength and dexterity to play even medium difficulty Bach fugues. I saw what it took and the effort didn’t interest me enough to stick with it. I have invested that practice energy into something else instead and I feel much happier for it. I have a facility for music, but I’m just not that into it as a technician. I have enough to appreciate virtuosity in others and that’s enough for me. Maybe you can find something similar.
Peace.
- Comment on How does renouncing citizenship work? 3 months ago:
Countries typically don’t allow that. For example, Canada requires you (at least) to be a citizen of another country and to live outside Canada.
- Comment on How does renouncing citizenship work? 3 months ago:
It varies from country to country. Some countries don’t let you become a citizen again after renouncing, while others allow it.
Citizenship is related to taxes (which also varies from country to country), so countries are very interested in being able to establish that you owe them income taxes.
How would your previous country find out? I imagine it’s like any crime: you either do something to make it easier for them (try to renew a passport, fail to file a tax return) or they find you by accident (some investigator notices a connexion between two observations that makes their mind tingle).
There’s probably more, but that’s enough to answer your questions.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
What is the relationship between “they are competing with me” and “I feel like I don’t deserve any of the success that I’ve worked very hard on”?
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
Let them. How does this hurt you? What is your actual challenge here?
- Comment on Why are 99,9999999999% of trans people here, disabled? 4 months ago:
What are you actually asking?
- Comment on Am I supposed to ask stupid questions here, or *not* ask stupid questions? 6 months ago:
The mere fact that we’re answering your question provides sufficient context to clarify the group’s intentions, no?
- Comment on Am I supposed to ask stupid questions here, or *not* ask stupid questions? 6 months ago:
Yes, but that’s why there is a sidebar.
- Comment on Why is currency so essential? 6 months ago:
Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens. Enjoy.
- Comment on How come liberals dont hate conservatives the way conservatives hate liberals 6 months ago:
I relate to your position. You are wrong. You absolutely do choose to hate or not hate. This lies entirely within your control.
I used to have the impulse to hate them, but I don’t any more.
On the list you cite, emotions is the one thing you choose, even though it doesn’t feel like that right now. I don’t expect you to believe me. I will cite Lisa Feldman Barrett and the book How Emotions are Made and you can decide whether you want to explore or not.
Either way, peace.
- Comment on Will I ever be seen as truly British? 6 months ago:
You might be able to find people who accept you, even if the average Brit doesn’t. People have strange ideas about whom to hate and why.
It’s complicated and I can’t pretend to really understand your situation, but I trust that feeling pity for them works better for your mental health than any other reaction, including trying to ignore them. Whatever you do, don’t let yourself believe them.
Peace.
- Comment on How come liberals dont hate conservatives the way conservatives hate liberals 6 months ago:
I can both understand and relate to being afraid of them. As you wrote, they do real damage and they seem intent on doing more and they seem to feel it’s their mission to do so. From what I can tell, they have been programmed to see the very concept of progressive thinking as evil. Fearing them seems sensible, because being aware of the threat makes it easier to defend against or protect oneself from.
But how exactly does it improve your life to hate them?
- Comment on How come liberals dont hate conservatives the way conservatives hate liberals 6 months ago:
Are you afraid of them or do you hate them? Those seem like two independent opinions to me, but I’m wondering if you’re conflating them.
I’m afraid of them and I don’t hate them.
- Comment on When investing your money, what is considered a good rate of return? 6 months ago:
Anything at least 2 points higher than the best rate of return you are getting now.
