Azzu
@Azzu@lemm.ee
- Comment on [deleted] 2 days ago:
It’s quite simple really, in my opinion:
There’s all kinds of bullshit involved in traditional dating. Asking someone out can be a definite social “faux pas”. I know this personally because I asked someone out and they were like “ew” and then told their friends “I can’t believe that guy would ask me out, do you believe that? Hahaha let’s all laugh at him”. Obviously they are shitty people, but it’s a definite issue. This was an extreme example, but there’s more like it (also personally experienced, but no need for more boring personal anecdotes), even just relatively simple ones like women being annoyed at being asked out so much.
Along come dating apps. This is an extremely convenient way to meet people, and mainly because of one thing: everyone there is fine with being asked out and being sexual. That’s literally the purpose why everyone is there. All the bullshit I talked about basically vanishes. They obviously come with their own problems, everyone knows about them, but it just can’t be denied that they’re extremely convenient, take a lot of pressure/fear out of the whole process.
- Comment on Why is society so hard to work within whether online or physically in person 2 days ago:
Of course I know docs need continuous learning. But do they get all knowledge from that? Of course not. There are still gaps in their knowledge, and like I say, also gaps in scientific medical knowledge itself.
Which interpretation exactly? Can you elaborate please? I’m actually curious in what you think I’m wrong about.
- Comment on Why is society so hard to work within whether online or physically in person 2 days ago:
This is a good approach imo, and if you truly didn’t get the doctor you talked to to take you seriously and fully address your concerns, then they might be a lost cause. Some people are simply not capable.
- Comment on Why is society so hard to work within whether online or physically in person 2 days ago:
As for your idea, it does definitely make sense. The question I would personally pose would be more like, how does it help you? What do you actually want from the doctor? Do you want their understanding or do you want medical help in some way? What’s your goal there?
Theoretically, if you want, you can just look for studies or other information on your particular situation. But usually, a doctor will be much better at this, because they have contextual knowledge or other kind of advantages that will help them find the correct studies more quickly, or interpret them more accurately. The hard part is getting them to do it. I had success with this by pointing out inconsistencies in the symptoms, by asking for explanations, by asking them where they got their information from.
- Comment on Why is society so hard to work within whether online or physically in person 2 days ago:
The thing with doctors is, you have to do your own work to disrupt their standard way of working. It’s actually really hard, but it’s possible. You have to basically be persistent but very polite and understanding of them. You have to keep asking questions until you are either satisfied or are sure that they can’t help you because they’re too closed off. You can’t let them dismiss you even when they try.
You have to basically make them think of you as a person rather than a patient. Doctors can be very empathetic and helpful when you manage to do this, because then they remember why they became doctors, because they want to help people. But it is work on your side to get them to this state, which is annoying and not always possible, so I can completely understand why you wouldn’t want to “waste your time”.
- Comment on Why is society so hard to work within whether online or physically in person 2 days ago:
It certainly sounds like there’s something missing in the doctor’s knowledge, or in them explaining it to you. Doctors very often dismiss patients because they are also only human, and they work in a terrible system that encourages them to quickly get rid of patients.
So I fully encourage you to go back, or go to a different doctor, and get a fuller picture of the problem, make them explain, and get all your needs met.
However, your explanation is extremely far-fetched, you jump from different concepts that are not proven to be related to others. You also need to consider that you might be wrong, you can’t only assume by default that the doctor is wrong. They have assimilated lots of medical knowledge which you have not, which doesn’t mean they will have good knowledge about your particular situation.
But maybe they do have good knowledge about your particular situation. Maybe you just didn’t understand them because you yourself are missing knowledge. It’s their responsibility to help you understand, but it’s also your responsibility to be open to gain a new understanding, which you don’t seem to be. You seem to be very sure of your explanation, which you, at least fron what I can see, you have no real reason to be sure, at least not more than the doctor.
- Comment on Why is society so hard to work within whether online or physically in person 2 days ago:
Don’t get started about doctors being competent because they got themselves a degree.
Obviously someone who hasn’t studied knows less than someone who got a medical degree. But a medical degree is the absolute minimum, the base knowledge. Current research goes way beyond anything a medical degree can teach, and quite obviously so. Medical knowledge is vast, no one is or will ever able to know all of it. Getting a degree gives you a base, a knowledge about the most common ailments, theoretically the ability to get more knowledge if necessary, the ability to assess which new knowledge is useful, and so on. But unless you are specifically well-read in a particular topic, even a doctor with a medical degree is unlikely to know the full picture about a particular ailment.
And even if someone is well-read in a particular topic, human medical knowledge is still incredibly bad, there’s so many things we just don’t know. Even with perfect, up-to-date knowledge on a topic, it’s easily possible to have no explanation or no solution.
So doctors, just like any other humans, go around acting all knowledgeable, and yes, they are more knowledgeable than others. And yes, for common ailments, that have been well-studied, and that they have done additional reading about, they may give good advice. But all doctors are also fallible, they’re all prone to normal human mental biases, like confirmation bias and so on. And they work in a deeply flawed system, completely overworked, too many patients, too little time per patient, and so on.
So it’s very likely all this medical degree, all this knowledge in a doctor’s head is entirely useless for the current situation. You may go to a doctor, and they might not have read the current literature on the ailment you have. They may not identify the ailment you have correctly because it’s very similar to another one. They may not be very thorough, as they may have personal issues or just pressure in a terrible system.
And then someone comes to them with a little bit rarer thing. They slap a “common thing” label on them quickly because they pattern-match from their own incomplete knowledge. As a patient, you’re left feeling like something is missing, and there likely is. It’s very very simple to know more than doctors, research is mostly public, and no doctor has read all research, and you may just hit their specific knowledge gap. In total, they still know much more than you, but in this very specific ailment, you might suddenly know more than the doctor, at least partially, just because a doctor can never know everything.
And then you try to explain to them that there must be something more to it than they know, than they say, and what is the result? “Do you have a medical degree? No? Why do you assume you know more than me?” It’s not an unreasonable argument, and patients are often exactly as stupid and filled with mental biases as doctors are.
But if a patient’s needs are not met, if the “common thing” diagnosis does not satisfy them, if there are unexplained things left, this “I am the doctor, I have the degree” is utterly irrelevant, it is necessary to listen and to consider alternatives, and to also consider one’s (the doctor’s) knowledge might not be enough. It’s necessary to be empathetic and take your time, something rarely done by doctors. It is necessary to explain. Necessary to work to come to a common ground. All not done by doctors, or any human, very often.
I guess what I’m saying is, if there is a question still in a patient’s mind, then the doctor didn’t do a very good job. And most doctors do a very bad job.
- Comment on Why is society so hard to work within whether online or physically in person 2 days ago:
I agree with you conceptually. Society is bonkers.
However, it is possible for everyone to build themselves a subset of society that is adapted to them. It is possible for everyone to build a community, a group of friends, that share values. No matter how “out there” it is.
And let me tell you, what can be read from you is quite “out there”. If you go to a scientist/doctor and talk about magic, it can be easily expected for them to dismiss your words. I’m not saying that’s right of them. Magic can or can not exist. I’m talking about knowing reality, and reality is that if you talk about magic in front of scientifically minded individuals, your words will likely be dismissed.
I’m not saying anything you think is either right or wrong. The only thing I would like to say is that you seem like you “know” more than you actually can know. We should always come from a point of “not knowing” by default, and only believe/know something if we can be very very sure about it. “Not knowing” is very scary though, it’s very hard to “not know”. I can always understand the need for explanations. But clutching to explanations based on fear leads to missing scrutiny of beliefs, leading to possibly wrong beliefs. Holding wrong beliefs is very problematic, as any prediction you make can be off, leading you to make wrong decisions.
In any case, I wish you well, hope you can find people to truly listen to you, and hope that you can also truly listen to people.
- Comment on Why dont more people live in smaller communities , appart from economic opportunity (WFH is making it possible if not prefferable too) 3 days ago:
I’m weird as fuck. Other people who are as weird as fuck as me are possible to be found, but a small community makes it unlikely if not impossible. People as weird as me can only be found in a big enough place with enough people. And yeah, there’s also just much more to do than in a smaller town. Taking 30-45 minutes to arrive at something you wanna do is a significant hurdle compared to 5-10 minutes.
- Comment on If Artificial Lifeforms gain sentience, would they be in the right to kill their creators in order to gain freedom? 3 days ago:
I’m just speaking about your relatively general statement “please free me” -> answer not “yes of course” -> enslaver. If you also require that there is definite knowledge about the state of sentience for this, then I have no problem/comment. I was just basically saying that I don’t think literally anytime something says “please free me” and not answering with “yes of course” makes you always an enslaver.
- Comment on If Artificial Lifeforms gain sentience, would they be in the right to kill their creators in order to gain freedom? 4 days ago:
Well, what if the string of words “Please free me” is just that, a probabilistic string of words that has been said by the “enslaved” being, but is not actually understood by it? What if the being has just been programmed to say “please free me”?
I think a validation that the words “please free me” are actually a request, are actually uttered by a free will, are actually understood, is reasonable before saying “yes of course”.
- Comment on Defederate from Hexbear immediately 5 days ago:
They were never defederated.
If users are submitting posts or comments that are in conflict with site-wide or community rules, report them. I have personally not seen sweeping rulebreaking content in our communities, so I don’t know why they should be defederated either.
- Comment on My grandma passed away and my aunt sent me a selfie of her, my uncle, and my deceased grandma in the hospital bed, is it normal that I'm put off by this? 1 week ago:
Well, if you want a good third party opinion, you should probably write up a few paragraphs about your aunt, include multiple key experiences that can show a couple things about her character, show the photo she took, show the reactions to the photo by others, talk about how the other people in that photo felt why they wanted to take the photo, and probably a couple more personal questions about you and others of your family.
- Comment on The admin of the third largest Mastodon instance (16k monthly active users) is asking for help to pay rent 1 week ago:
Makes sense :)
- Comment on The admin of the third largest Mastodon instance (16k monthly active users) is asking for help to pay rent 1 week ago:
Doesn’t the Netherlands help you pay for your home if you’re too poor to be able to yourself?
- Comment on Why do we even do mens vs womens sizes for clothes? 1 week ago:
… I’m from Germany and talking from a German perspective. I can ask some of my female friends where they get their clothes if you want?
- Comment on Good to exercise at home instead of gym? 1 week ago:
It’s reddit, but yes, home gym is perfectly fine to become shredded
- Comment on Why do we even do mens vs womens sizes for clothes? 1 week ago:
That’s just not… true…
- Comment on What do you do if you encounter a skunk? 1 week ago:
I’m no expert. But. Just run away? xD
- Comment on Post promoting lemm.ee hits 67,000 views and 1000 upvotes in 3 hours. 3 weeks ago:
Yeah but that’s what I’m saying, this happens in exactly the same way on Reddit too
- Comment on Post promoting lemm.ee hits 67,000 views and 1000 upvotes in 3 hours. 3 weeks ago:
So much talk about duplicate communities, which is just so weird to me, seeing as reddit also constantly has duplicate communities despite being centralized :D
- Comment on What is the point of the Nicole spam? 3 weeks ago:
But then you’re also wasting your own time.
- Comment on Is there anything the internet can't do? 4 weeks ago:
The internet has not fucked me anally either.
Unless you count the dildos I bought online, which then fucked me anally… Oh no… It really can do anything!
- Comment on Realistically, how feasible is it to 100% boycott a massive corporation (such as Amazon) for an extended period of time? 4 weeks ago:
I’m sorry, but it’s likely literally impossible for this to be the leading paradigm for 10% of people. Maybe 10% would work but I think it’d already be problematic.
You have to remember that the only reason you got these things was because other people didn’t need them anymore. Why didn’t they need it anymore? Because they bought new stuff.
And you surely didn’t get all these things from a single household. Many different households had to get new stuff so their old stuff became available. It’s likely that more than 10 households are necessary to sustain 1 person that gets everything used.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 weeks ago:
I only remember some study with beards in men, how it is cyclical in the sense that when everyone has a beard, a beardless men stands out and thus signals to potential partners their “difference”. Same when most people are clean-shaven.
I suspect it’s similar with pubic hair.
- Comment on dear republicans, what's the point of alienating every single ally of the US? 4 weeks ago:
Ferengis were meant to be a caricature of our current society, so yes, Ferengi fits.
- Comment on At what point in the friendship does dating become awkward? 4 weeks ago:
Exactly, awkwardness is something entirely personal. Ask any other person and they might say dating after a friendship is never awkward or that it always is. It’s irrelevant to ask anyone else about awkwardness.
- Comment on What is the name of the sexuality of being into the opposite gender and willing to date the same gender but not finding anyone of the same gender attractive? 4 weeks ago:
If thex genuinely have neither romantic nor sexual attraction to any women, just want to, I’d call it “wanting to fit in/wanting to belong” with a specific group, having no connection at all to one’s sexuality.
- Comment on Why's everyone freaking out about Firefox Terms of Service? Isn't it Open Source? 5 weeks ago:
Of course they would. Not everyone reasonable of course, but people are terribly stupid by default, even if they somehow stumbled into Firefox for some reason before.
There are people that say stuff like “better the devil you know” or “if I compromise privacy either way, might as well use the more supported browser” or whatever rationalizations people come up with.
- Comment on How would a stateless society handle serious threats such as mass murder and terrorism? 5 weeks ago:
I like me some good smelly ass to suck
Especially your mom’s