This sign is bullshit, I accidentally put my prostate massager in my butt all the time, sometimes twice in one day.
We Got You
Submitted 1 week ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/e489464c-2259-4595-9105-db4c4b915858.png
Comments
AngryishHumanoid@reddthat.com 1 week ago
TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 1 week ago
You should try doing it on purpose at least once
TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
If i ever get something stuck up my ass while trying to pleasure myself and need medical help to remove it, I will absolutely try to come up with the most convoluted and ridiculous story for how it got there. Not out of embarrasment, but just to give the ER nurses a good laugh.
li10@feddit.uk 1 week ago
who tf putting a key up there?
over_clox@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Sorry, I thought it would unlock it so I could get all the other items out. Guess it was the wrong key though… ☹️
moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
consider putting a magnet up there to get the key
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 1 week ago
Where else can you store them while swimming?
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 1 week ago
Ah the old prison wallet. Classic.
Eyeuhnluuung@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I work in a ER and can assure you people high on meth put all sorts of crazy shit in their butt.
Deconceptualist@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Dare I ask, why? I mean obviously meth addicts aren’t known for their shrewd decisions in general, but is there some sensory or cognitive change in particular that compels them to put foreign objects in their butts more than say, alcoholics would?
khannie@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I heard about a guy once, who was a POW, and his friend wanted him to keep a watch for his son so he shoved it way up there.
The reference for the younger among us.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 1 week ago
This sign was made by someone who’s never wiped with single-ply before.
DarkCloud@lemmy.world 1 week ago
…and I got news for you, if someone is trying to get you to pull marbles out their ass, then that’s their fetish… Because no one is worried that small marble sized balls won’t eventually come out naturally… They’re looking to bring attention that they’re up there (and possibly to get someone to try to get them out). People are weird.
over_clox@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Speaking from experience? 🤔
Neon@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Dude, if I have anything up my ass, I’m going to the hospital asap.
“it’s going to come out anyway” sounds like Darwin-award last words
MotoAsh@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I mean, if you cannot pass marbles naturally, you might have other issues a doc should take a look at.
Cagi@lemmy.ca 1 week ago
“Million to one shot, doc”
sundray@lemmus.org 1 week ago
scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 1 week ago
It was a fusilli Jerry
sundray@lemmus.org 1 week ago
“We are discreet. But we also think it’s funny.”
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 week ago
… that sign … they just kept it because it seemed funny after they retrieved it from a pacient.
krimson@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Egg? What if it cracks?!
Alawami@lemmy.ml 1 week ago
Fastest salmonella in the west.
nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 1 week ago
What if it’s fertilized?
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 1 week ago
Scramble it.
three@lemm.ee 1 week ago
My MMA trainer said it was actually more effective to boof raw eggs than drinking them.
nailingjello@lemmy.zip 1 week ago
South Park did an entire episode on it, so it must be true.
SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org 1 week ago
Wait, why an apple?
don@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Because pineapples are a bit trickier, obviously
ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 1 week ago
Relatively smooth, round and ‘filling’, comes with a convenient stem to hold on to that definitely won’t break on extraction
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 week ago
… I can only assume it’s like peanut butter with dogs, but you know, for horses.
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 1 week ago
Exactly, I don’t get the appeal.
Yorick@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Missed the opportunity to put a golden watch on that picture.
rockhstrongo@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I’ve heard…
the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 1 week ago
I know from first hand experience you can’t do it by accident as one time, hung over and showering in the dark in the early morning i got a little dizzy and sat down.
Perfectly meeting my starfish to the shampoo bottle on the floor. It could not have been more on target had i attempted this.
I shot up, seeing stars like for real for only the second time in my life. I wasnt dizzy, I was up and attem’ baby. Wooo what a rush! Hurt a lot for a minute. I don’t think that bottle tip made it a millimeter into my pooper.
So yeah, impressible
KellysNokia@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident
BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it’s way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it’s a true accident, it’s very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
Probably the priest who fell on a potato while cooking naked
Deepus@lemm.ee 1 week ago
How’d you know he was a priest if he was naked?
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld when Frank gets a pasta statue stuck up his ass
FinalRemix@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Million-to-one shot, doc!