In prison.
Butthole destroyed.
Make check on coin.
Massive loss in value.
No.
Crypto genius
Submitted 11 months ago by STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/33cd3475-a4c1-4dd4-93a6-faba952a5cbb.jpeg
Comments
saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 11 months ago
GlitterInfection@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Just so you know you don’t need to go to prison in order to get your butt hole destroyed. It’s much easier to just go on Grindr, which is only an emotional prison.
bdonvr@thelemmy.club 11 months ago
Fun fact you also don’t need to go to prison for your crypto to depreciate!
nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 11 months ago
There is a different story here, hidden beneath the floor boards.
SCB@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Hell I’ve given my butthole quite the thrashing just sitting home by myself.
Mamertine@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You’d still owe that debt. Unless you go to prison for live than the debt’s statute length. Generally 7 years.
Also some jurisdictions make you pay for the privilege of going to prison.
Ymmv, choose your state of jurisdiction very carefully.
Also crypto is a bubble IMO.
chuckleslord@lemmy.world 11 months ago
IMO nothing, it’s pure speculation powered by nothing but blind greed. If it isn’t a bubble, then nothing is.
garbagebagel@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Wait if you can avoid debt collectors for 7 years they just forget about you?? Like I could fuck off to another country where they can’t garner my money and come back and they can’t do shit about it?
AA5B@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It’s not that clearcut: they have various tricks to keep it alive, if they know where you are. This is why you never admit to a debt nor pay the token amount they offer; both are tricking you into legally claiming responsibility, so they can keep the debt alive
Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 11 months ago
Debt is super weird. In some cases you can have thousands very much just disappear after 7 years, in others they’ll hunt you down mercilessly over a $25 copay they mailed you a “this is not a bill” letter about 2 years ago. My wife was pretty deep in debt when we first started dating and I literally have seen both extremes and everything inbetween.
Goodtoknow@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Don’t pay and ignore collectors… Profit
walter_wiggles@lemmy.nz 11 months ago
I think you would make more money if you gave handys behind the Wendy’s dumpster every day for 7 years.
Blackmist@feddit.uk 11 months ago
> Realise you still owe the credit card debt.
Deiv@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Declare bankruptcy!
nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 11 months ago
I didn’t just say it, I declared it
CADmonkey@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Just commit a crime with a longer sentence than your state’s statute of limitations.
AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You already fucked up in step 2
AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 11 months ago
Come to that you fucked up in step 1. Do you really think the credit card companies are gonna let that debt just sit there not accruing interest
Kase@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Not if you sell your house to buy more crypto ;)
Chickenstalker@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Let’s go one further:
-
Get turned into a vampire
-
Buy crypto
-
Go sleep in your coffin for 100 years
4.???
- Profit
independantiste@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
5. Profit5. Realize it’s at 0$ 6. Cry 7. Remember you bought doge because Elon Musk said so 8. Cry
-
Ardiente@ttrpg.network 11 months ago
Most sane crypto bro
PsychedSy@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I mean if I had gone to jail right after I bought any of my crypto I’d be doing better. Sadly, it makes more sense to pull the crypto than default.
I think I had less than a cent of bitcoin and managed to pull 20 later (almost all of it) then another 20 later. Huge percent profit.
jol@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
You’ll have to somehow launder that crypto first.
ryathal@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
You probably wouldn’t need laundered crypto, but you would need to be able to hide it from the bankruptcy court. This only works if you can clear the credit card debt.
Rin@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Monero doesn’t need to be laundered.
matter@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It does if you want to spend it in any meaningful way
520@kbin.social 11 months ago
BitTornado.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 11 months ago
That sounds like a sketchy af bt client lol. “download up to 5x faster and get 69 more boobies per porn with our downloader!”
datelmd5sum@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You just use it to buy drugs so you don’t have to use your other money for drugs. Kinda like how you use your dirty cash for filling up your car, paying for groceries, contractors… You can basically build an entire house with cash and then sell it and pay taxes and shit.
Armok_the_bunny@lemmy.world 11 months ago
What country does anon live in, where prison food and housing is free?
unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
a country that has any reasonable human rights?? well unless you mean “free” in the general sense in that someone does have to pay for it even if not the prisoner…
DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 11 months ago
(The shithole states charge prisoners for room and board)
Crack0n7uesday@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Someone actually did this, then built a nuclear fallout shelter in their backyard in the middle of some city, but he did it all redneck and it blew up or something while building an underground generator or something and killed a 17 year old kid, he went back to jail, got out after another crypto spike, tried to cash out and immediately got sued by the family of the dead kid for wrongful death and got sued by the IRS for back taxes. It’s a fucking rabbit hole of a story.
AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 11 months ago
do you have a link?
FunFair@lemmings.world 11 months ago
ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 11 months ago
the IRS TAXMAN finds out and resizes anons rectum in search of the missing funds
orrk@lemmy.world 11 months ago
nah, you just claim to have used it on drugs, fits well with the go to prison for a while bit
Patches@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Hi yes, Mr drug dealer. Do u take credit?
TrickDacy@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Fuck 4chan
yamapikariya@lemmyfi.com 11 months ago
Fast and easy way to contract a disease. Wouldn’t recommend
MissJinx@lemmy.world 11 months ago
so if you go to prison all your debts are forgiven?
ericbomb@lemmy.world 11 months ago
After 7 years in the US all debt falls off. So if he’s in prison for 7 years, yeah it’d all go away.
Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Well, not exactly. The debt is still there, they just can’t force you to pay it. Exceptions apply, like student loans, and I they can probably still claim property in the case of bankruptcy or inheritance.
Also your credit score is going to tank hard.
bdonvr@thelemmy.club 11 months ago
All*
*(Except government debt, and student loans.)
MissJinx@lemmy.world 11 months ago
So if he goes to jail for only 5 he would still owe the bank? lol
thorbot@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Be me
Be me
Be me
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I still don’t get how the punishment for any crime is to not have to work or pay rent… Maybe there’s something to this whole life of crime thing.
tuxtey@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I think you’ll find there some other downsides too
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Ya know, what’s a stabbing every few months?
friendlysort@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Actually, in certain U.S. states they send you an itemized bill for your own incarceration.
Techmaster@lemm.ee 11 months ago
You have to work and pay rent in prison.
unreasonabro@lemmy.world 11 months ago
your eyes are still too big
eezeebee@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
“while your investment appreciates in value”, hopefully.
Tubics@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Even if it loses 90% of its value it’s still a win if the money came from credit cards you never paid back. Although the couple of hundred bucks you get might not be worth the hassle
Wogi@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You will also be unable to take out any debt upon release. It’s difficult to get credit as a released felon without a history of defaulting on debt.
So, being generous and saying that he sees a 4% return on his investment, he’ll have slightly more than he went in owing, and will be completely unable to even get a car loan, a decent job, or place to live.
He will have turned 0 dollars in to a lifetime of hardship.