I could have gone my whole life without seeing a Kermit Goatsee
Senior Citizen Sex
Submitted 11 months ago by balderdash9@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/cc13c962-7c28-4433-9261-49ee1913f9ce.webp
Comments
RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 11 months ago
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I guess. If you can even call that a life
Ragdoll_X@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Are you really even living if you’ve never smashed that kermussy?
sneezymrmilo@lemmy.world 11 months ago
My God this post is vile 🤣
Shapillon@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Why though?
Whisper06@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Old people sex.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Grandma deserves a healthy and natural double fisting too
NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world 11 months ago
This took a turn sharper than grans lower intestine
Copythis@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Seriously.
I have to go into nursing homes all the time. The ladies at them are the thirstiest women I’ve ever met.
…but ya know, a hole is a hole 🤷
TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I ain’t into old ladies but a Werther’s original is a Werther’s original.
Copythis@lemmy.world 11 months ago
That’s where they get practice 😉
And don’t get me started on when they remove the dentures!
Deiv@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
ಠ_ಠ
ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 11 months ago
If there’s a hole there’s a goal
Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 11 months ago
A pensioner’s vag is like a pork pie. You have to break through the crust and the jelly to get to the meat
db2@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
I think you might have some issues, op.
Endorkend@kbin.social 11 months ago
Not really.
Look up some STD transmission stats for retirement communities. It's a real issue.
starbreaker@kbin.social 11 months ago
The real issue is the absolutely pathetic state of sex ed in the US. A lot of these people probably grew up thinking that "safe sex" meant doing it when she isn't ovulating and somehow never learned any better despite living through the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s.
starbreaker@kbin.social 11 months ago
OP's not wrong, though. Inmates of boomer gulags are old, not dead. They're gonna fuck unless you keep 'em in solitary confinement 24/7.
A_Toasty_Strudel@lemmy.world 11 months ago
And MAN do they be fuckin’.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
At least my fair share lol
OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Just curious here, but why did you guys see the title “Senior Citizen Sex” and still decide to click the link?
On second though, I don’t want to know.
Shapillon@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Because a lot of people find older folks having sex really icky. And it’s such a deeply ingrained and weird take.
So I’m here to dispute it.
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 11 months ago
They are all members of the Lemon Party.
anarchy79@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I have spent my waking life on the Internet since 2400 baud modems. Christ, Lemonparty made the rounds since 2002. Nothing fazes me.
dipshit@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Grannie can get it
TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
Excuse me?
Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 11 months ago
My granddad once said to me, “It’s really humid today”
To which I replied “Aye tell me something I don’t know!”
He said, “Err…ok. I can fit my whole fist up your gran’s arse”
ricdeh@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Please elaborate.
CADmonkey@lemmy.world 11 months ago
My better half works in a nursing home. The one she works in now is more “independent”, she used to work in a nursing home that also had a “memory care” (Alzheimer’s/dementia) wing.
She explains that the sex is rampant. Her favorite story was about a couple who would sneak into a supply closet to do the sweaty, wrinkly deed. But they weren’t as sneaky as they thought, because they would park their walkers outside the closet.
What happens sometimes, is you have these elderly people, who have lost someone they have been married to for decades. And they’re lonely, but they are surrounded by other people around their age who have also lost someone who was in their lives for decades.
DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 11 months ago
Plus they don’t have anything else to do.
PeePantsMcgee@lemm.ee 11 months ago
I just sent this to my mother-in-law AND father-in-law
recapitated@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Downloaded and scheduled text to my child for 35 years from now.
pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
It’s actually mostly hand stuff.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
As someone in their 40s with a teenager, I’m looking forward to my 50s when it’s possible I might get to have sex again. Because they don’t have a bedtime.
looseanus@lemm.ee 11 months ago
AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Never tried heroin.
If, by some unfortunate circumstance, I survive to 70, I am doing ALL the heroin!
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
You are not accounting for your changing appetite and priorities though. Willing to bet heroine sounds much less appealing then than now. Maybe stop holding back so much and just do a little heroin now?
Also, check out the 99PI podcast on the Model Village - it might give you some hope for better options, but I’m not too excited as our species and especially my country are pretty good bout fucking these kinda things up.
RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
Do a little heroin now, as a treat!
Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
70? People these days are still in good shape at 70, I don’t know what age you are but by the time you reach 70 you’ll probably be today’s 60 years old! I don’t think we’ve got that many users on here that are over 60!
Duranie@midwest.social 11 months ago
I work in hospice and have seen patients (and family members) 90+ who I could have mistaken for late 60s - early 70s. I also recently met a patient’s wife who was 20 years younger than him, but was in worse shape and looked his age (82) if not older. Genetics and life experience are wild.
knacht1@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’m here! (65)
Spaghetti_Hitchens@kbin.social 11 months ago
I believe that everyone should smoke, drink, and enjoy the occasional hard drug- just start when you're 75 or 80. Fucking party on the way out.
AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 11 months ago
What it gonna do, kill you?
herr@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Spoken like a true 20 year old who has no concept of what health at 75 does to you. The alcohol hangovers will last multiple days, you might have a lung condition that prevents any smoking, your circulation will massively shit the bed off any stimulants (think racing heart, cold sweats, anxiety, feeling weak) and opioids… well, opioids might be mostly okay except for the constipation I guess.
Smokeydope@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Forget heroin do a heroic dose of shrooms
Ragdoll_X@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Try some Datura seeds
TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Hi, I treat people with SUDs and many of them are in their 60s, some older. Nothing ruins lives like heroin. Nothing. People just want to enjoy their final years with family but addiction rips them away. People lose limbs to heroin. People lose minds.
AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Of all the things to get clean for, your own funeral.
Humans are odd.
CADmonkey@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I agree wholeheartedly. My wife and kid have a standing order that should I get dementia, I am to be left in the woods very far from civilization. And just to make that less likely, On my 70th birthday I will be buying the fastest available motorcycle. And no helmet. Which theoretically should have me reduced to a wet smear on the pavement in short order.
The worst thing I can think of is for me to be a burden on my loved ones.
GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 11 months ago
If this was a religion, I’d be asking for the collection plate.