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Submitted 9 months ago by annodomini@lemmy.zip to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 9 months ago
at 67 you should be concerned with medical intervention and facilities nearby.
travel to see the countryside, stay as long as you like. keep your home base where it’s at. Boston is one of the best places for medical care in the US.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Also where your social network is
Horsey@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’m from the Boston area, lived in rural NH as well as in Lawrence:
If you move to Wyoming, you will regret it. It’s got the coldest weather in the country outside northern Alaska with killer wind chill worse than Minnesota. Yeah, 2 hours away from doctors sucks, but now imagine that in the winter, driving conditionsbeing the same thing as 495 after a snowstorm but constant. In retirement, for me, I don’t think it’s wise to fight against weather… I get that the city and hot weather isn’t for everyone, but if you’re looking for temperate weather that won’t kill you, look into Eureka, CA or Coos Bay, OR; those places are basically Boston springtime but all year round.
goldenquetzal@lemmy.world 9 months ago
As someone who moved to a remote countryside area 2 years ago, I can tell you that we regret it and are looking to move back to a more populated area. Do an extended trip there or a year sabbatical in a rental and then you’ll know for sure.
Fluke@discuss.online 9 months ago
Big factor for me is whether or not either of you have lived rural before.
I worked in a very remote medical center not too far from where you’re considering. I needed to send a patient to a hospital for a severe infection one of my first days there. Life flight refused because of winter weather. The ambulance driver came to me and quietly asked if the patient really needed to go today. After I told him yes it was striking to see them strap tire chains, shovels, and a generator to the exterior before leaving. They really weren’t sure they were going to get to town that night.
You miss out on many of the benefits of modern medicine when you’re in a town of less than 20,000, and you’ll need to be ok with driving for hours for specialist care in a city of less than 100,000.
I-80 in Wyoming closes so often for weather that they have permanently installed gates across all lanes.
That being said, an adventurous and self-reliant lifestyle is one of the best things you can do for your health and longevity. If you know what you are getting into and think this would help you thrive, I’d say go for it with the agreement that if health changes you will move back to a city.
AA5B@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Maybe a better approach is to find out what seems attractive in that type of life. You may be able to find it still somewhat near what you’re used to. Massachusetts still has plenty of small towns, lower cost areas, and rural areas, as do the rest of New England. But you’ll still be near whatever friends and family, medical care, transportation, be able to go into Boston if you want, progressive politics, etc
Worst case scenario, the Adirondacks have plenty of cheap low priced places to live. It’s remote but not that remote nor that as jarring a change
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Do NOT leave Boston.
Go visit places, stay for a bit. But, do not move.
foggy@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Things to consider:
Nearest hospital.
Nearest fire department.
Nearest Police station.
Nearest post office.
Nearest doctors office.
Nearest grocery.
Nearest airport.
Do you currently indulge in things like food delivery?
If all that can be reconciled then living nearly anywhere is fine.
fireweed@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Understanding of course that it’s not just about the presence of amenities, but also the quality. Sure there might be a grocery store, but the fresh produce is questionable, it has limited brand choices, and doesn’t cater to specific dietary needs/preferences, like organic, vegan, gluten-free, etc. Sure there might be a hospital, but it’s chronically understaffed and/or lacking in certain departments. Sure there might be a dentist, but they’re so overbooked they’re not taking new patients. Sure there’s an airport, but tickets are twice as expensive and it’ll take two transfers to visit family every holiday. Etc etc.
foggy@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Yes absolutely true If your nearest grocery store is a dollar general, this is bad.
I’m just laying out a general template to help figure out how rural were comfortable being.
fireweed@lemmy.world 9 months ago
This is a very strange time to want to move from one of the most politically progressive to one of the most politically conservative states in the country. I’m assuming your husband is an American-born straight white cis man?
Regardless of politics, has he ever been to Wyoming? It’s a huge state, and much of it is a dry, barren wind tunnel. The NW corner is quite pretty, but also quite expensive. Depending on your budget, he may be surprised to realize the places within financial limits are not anywhere near as nice to live as the photographs indicate, and that’s completely ignoring the issues re: remoteness that others have already described. Seriously you could not pay me to move to most places in Wyoming due to the wind alone; I cannot emphasize enough how windy the I-80 corridor (near the “population centers” of Laramie and Cheyenne) can get.
Basically what I’m getting at is “why Wyoming” of all places?
Horsey@lemmy.world 9 months ago
This person is seriously underselling how expensive Teton county is. It’s literally millionaires and locals who are now millionaires, or locals who are so poor they only stick around to work in hospitality. Any given “pretty” image from Wyoming is most certainly taken in Teton county as they’ve said above.
FelixCress@lemmy.world 9 months ago
My husband (67) officially retired last year
Are you still working?
RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Middle of nowhere gets real hard as you get older
blargh513@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
I grew up in a nowhere place. It sucked as a kid too.
Cooking dinner and forgot an ingredient? You’re not getting it, hope dinner doesn’t suck.
Nobody comes to visit because there is nothing to do. Hope you like silence, you will be getting a lot of it.
Well water was nasty. I’m sure quality can vary, but unless you want to spend lot on filtration systems, hope you like it as it is. Ours tasted like sulphur.
When you live in the city, power outages are resolved quickly. No so in the middle of nowhere. We used to go days at time with no power. Remember, your well pump needs electricity now, so no water either. Same for your furnace.
Winter was ass, plows didnt come for several days after a good snow. Hope you’re a good driver because if you ditch it, you’re going to be waiting a good while for a wrecker to come pull you out.
How long is it to a good hospital? Can you survive 2x that time as an ambulance will have to come get you and then drive back. Hope you never have a medical emergency.
No pizza delivery. No nothing delivery. You want something, get in the car and enjoy spending at least an hour getting the thing. That is if the place nearby has it (they dont).
I will NEVER live out there again. I’m sure some people like it, but the balance falls way too hard on the “everything is slow and needlessly difficult” side.
Sorry but your husband is wanting to live out some Harrison Ford style fantasy. Tell him to rent a place for a few months out there and let him try it. Preferably in the winter.
DagwoodIII@piefed.social 9 months ago
Do yourself a favor. Spend Christmas through New Year's in the town you're planning on moving to first.
ComradePenguin@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
The countryside can get pretty lonely. Once you retire there is no more socialising with coworkers. So there is only the family, friends and the community. Moving a way from family, friends and a place with lots of places to build new friendships (hobbies etc) could get lonely.
Grimy@lemmy.world 9 months ago
You could compromise with a vacation cottage, budget permitting.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Pro: less people!
Con: the people that are there are probably bigoted bootlickers.
OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
+1 on the Lemmy who recommended trying it out. If you don’t, he’s gonna live with regret about what he could have done with his only life
Afflictedlife@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
My aunt and uncle retired to a ranch in south Carolina as a tax dodge after a life of being realtors and IT specialists. Meth heads stole all their farm equipment and the daughter they moved next to is getting a divorce. If you have a yard, just start a garden or greenhouse and a tool shed and you won’t have to worry about whatever unknown hell is waiting for you in Wyoming
starlinguk@lemmy.world 9 months ago
My dad is in his eighties. You know what he does for most of the day? He visits elderly people in the countryside who can no longer drive and are stuck at home.
ultranaut@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Not retired yet but went through a similar thing and we talked about all of our criteria and which ones were higher or lower priorities and what our concerns were. I really wanted to move to the middle of nowhere but given our criteria and concerns we ended up in a rural area near a smaller city. You’re not unreasonable to want specific things about where you live, like easy access to healthcare or a sane government, you just need to figure out what both of you can compromise on.
Hereforpron2@lemmynsfw.com 9 months ago
No, you’re right, and your husband is romanticizing the countryside. You’d be significantly better off looking in places like Virginia, where you can find ranch properties and feel like you’re well out into the country while still being ~30 minutes from a Richmond-sized city.
FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
Someone has been watching too much Clarksons Farm, lol
cecilkorik@piefed.ca 9 months ago
I think we can all agree it's probably a bad idea.
Does that mean you shouldn't? Maybe. But maybe not. Sometimes it's fun to do something "wrong", because you want to, and maybe you'll really enjoy it anyway. Maybe you'll learn a lot about why it's a bad idea, and maybe you'll find those learnings enrich your life and give you stories to tell. I'm not trying to recommend this at all, I'm just saying you should consider it from all angles and outcomes before you make a decision, especially if this is something he really wants to do for whatever reason. Life is for *living*, it's not for making a series of *optimal choices to result in the highest score*. Experiences, both good and bad, are their own reward. And as long as nobody's going to get hurt, and you go into it with your eyes open and an understanding of the risks and potential downfalls, and do what you can to mitigate and protect against them as much as you can, maybe it's something you can try.
If it's really something you're not comfortable with, and he is, well then you two are going to have to have a long and hard talk about it and come to some mutually agreeable compromise. But even if it is objectively a bad idea, you also need to think about whether he's just naive and is going to hate it, or whether it's going to make him happy that he tried it, and whether it's an experience he needs to have in his life. Meanwhile, is it going to cause you resentment if you go there and hate it and he loves it? Will he listen to you if you decide you really do hate it and don't want to continue?
That's not something anyone can answer for you, but it has little to do with whether it's a bad idea and much more to do with what both of you want out of life.
memfree@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
A relative got billed thousands of dollars for post-medical transport back home. Insurance covered the cost to fly him to the hospital, but not the trip back. This guy has spent decades enjoying his home in the middle of nowhere, but everything has gotten harder as he’s grown older. He knew he was getting short of breath more easily, but didn’t realize his lungs were severely deteriorating – until his wife found him passed out on the ground instead of doing yard work.
Now he has to use oxygen (5l/min) all the time, is mostly stuck in the house, and lives too far from most services to do anything. His wife can drive to town to get groceries and the like, but he has to calculate if he’ll have enough oxygen to make a trip, and his wife doesn’t want him driving at all lest he get dizzy and cause an accident. Airlines won’t let him fly.
The couple are having a hard time finding people to drive all the way out to their place to help take care of things. They are pretty much stuck out there with a lot of chores they can’t do and very little entertainment. They did finally manage to get someone to install a generator so when the power goes out (which happens often enough), they can keep recharging the oxygen.
Prior to this, he’d been making long trips to see doctors for back and neck pain because there weren’t any close providers, but those docs somehow missed his breathing issues. I don’t know if he was seeing a GP as well, but his choices were limited. Family had urged him to move somewhere more … well, if not urban, at least suburban for over a decade because his medical care never seemed very good. Now it is nearly impossible.
Does that answer the question? The guy went from doing yard work one day to incapacitated the next. I’m sure the change is usually less instantaneous for most people, but there are cases like his where healthy to ‘not’ is fast.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 9 months ago
With the orange admin cutting programs for rural healthcare, broadband, etc, I wouldn’t risk it. He’s harming people in rural areas at a lightning pace.
Further: my father was still playing hockey with younger guys while he was in his 70s. He was very active. His decline from that to death took about three years. He grew less and less mobile after an injury (playing hockey like a lunatic) and then broke his hip and that was it.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I spent a few years living in a major city, but most of my life has been in rural areas. One thing you should keep in mind is that there is a wide range between Boston and Middle of nowhere, Wyoming.
You’ll have the best odds of appreciating a rural move if you live in or around the biggest town a few hours from a major city.
You’d have convenient access to most of the goods and services that are available to you now, a hospital, groceries, gas stations, etc. and if you need to access a city for an airport, concerts, or other things we don’t see in the middle of nowhere, it’s only a few hours away.
Moving completely away from civilization sounds great at times, but it makes every day things very inconvenient. Going from having a city at your fingertips to nothing at all is going to be a much bigger culture shock than your husband expects.
the_q@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
Must be nice to have money and therefore options. Enjoy retirement!
HubertManne@piefed.social 9 months ago
I mean im a city boy so my ideal is living in a high rise downtown. My wifes is way out in the country. So we live like you in the beginings of suburbia. Now given our financials we likely will have to move to cheapest possible in the hopes of solvency if I ever retire but yeah. Hospitals are the big worry.
Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 9 months ago
I’ve never met anyone who retired to the middle of nowhere who wasn’t back near a city within 5 years because someone’s health took a turn. That includes my mother who dreamed of living in a small coast town all her life an did so after retiring, but my step-father’s diagnosis of parkinson’s cut that short.
chunes@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Bad idea at this age. All it takes is one day for your health to take a nosedive then you’ll just have to move again.