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You could try to talk with him to understand the underlying reasons for his will for a life change. It really could be anything. Or if that doesn’t work, seek couples counceling for a couple of sessions.
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Submitted 9 months ago by annodomini@lemmy.zip to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
lerba@sopuli.xyz 9 months ago
Two_Hangmen@midwest.social 9 months ago
I didn’t grow up in Wyoming but it was a rural state in the U.S. People romanticize rural areas until they actually live in one. If if you have a large town nearby and and your wealthy, or at least upper middle class it might be ok, but I’d highly recommend not staying where you are.
It’s not just the medical care, it’s the culture. When you move to a rural area, if you aren’t at least the 3rd generation you’ll be looked at and treated as an outsider. That doesn’t mean people will be hostile towards you, but you won’t really be part of the community either.
The entertainment, food, and shopping options are also be very limited.
redlemace@lemmy.world 9 months ago
No, you are not unreasonable it’s just how you prioritize. It’s personal choice. I live in the country and many elderly too. We know not to count on the blue lights to arrive in 10 minutes. 30 is more likely. We don’t wanna give up the perfect place to live just to have them arrive quicker if something happens. We count/rely on each other.
rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio 9 months ago
Seems like you have perfectly valid concerns regarding the logistics of making such a move. Have you brought up these concerns with him? If so, does he acknowledge them or ignore them?
annodomini@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
[deleted]MintyFresh@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Get a camper and try it for a season. You might love it you might hate it. But you’ll have some idea of the million little details that make living in a bumfuck rural area difficult. Getting groceries, medical care, just seeing other people.
I’ve known people who thought they loved living in the middle of nowhere and end up putting in several hundred driving miles per week because they would come to town on the slightest pretext, because they were bored and felt cooped up. Rural life was not for them. Are you the sort who cannot go anywhere for a week plus and be happy about it?
You’ll also see the stars every night, hear the wind and come to know the land. Pros and cons. Try before you buy.
earlgrey0@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Question, have either of you lived in a rural area before? I am originally from LA and it’s hard to describe how jarring it is to move to a rural area. There is no “quick trip to the store” when the closest one is an hour away. Also I never got used to how limited the selection was once I got out of a big area. You’re right to be concerned about emergencies, the closest dr will probably be a considerable drive away. The internet makes the world feel smaller, but rural areas don’t tend to have faster internet so you might not be able to do things like remote dr visits to compensate for the distance. My in-laws complain constantly about their septic tank, and they cannot use their well water for drinking. It’s a huge lifestyle change and you’re right for being hesitant.
annodomini@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
[deleted]ccunning@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’m only 6 miles from a grocery store but just having moved from a major metropolitan area to a small city in a rural area has been a shock.
I cannot caution you enough.You’re right to be hesitant. If it’s possible do a long term stay before you consider it. And I mean like a month or two minimum. It’s got to be long enough for you to get over being in a “new and interesting” place so you can really experience what day to day life is like.
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Yeah. You’re gonna want to at the very least test out living in an area like that for a month or two before you uproot your life.
0x01@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
I wouldn’t move to wyoming of all places, for sure, that place is hell on earth. The boston metro area is great for aging, especially as you get well into your 80s and your ability to drive flags. The lack of community infrastructure in wyoming will mean you’ll either die or have to go into a home as you age because how will you get groceries? At least in the boston area you have ready access to taxis and ubers and public transit everywhere.
Don’t forget that the politics of wyoming are vastly vastly different than the boston area, you’re going from one of the most progressive areas in the US to one of the most conservative states.
Living a rural rancher lifestyle requires hardiness and support structures. Most ranchers have generations in the same place, know their neighbors, have local community, etc. You’re coming in as a stranger and people out there hate outsiders coming in. It’s an expensive hobby and a hard job.
If you like dust, fires, wind, drought, mormons, republicans, big rig black cloud trucks, and guns you’ll probably like it.
Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Not at all unreasonable.
If it’s within your means, could y’all take a long trip out that way? I can’t at all imagine what the draw is to rural Wyoming. It’s hot as hell and dryer than an oven in summer, and it’s insanely windy and cold in the winter. Maybe go take a week during each season and get an idea. I’m sure there are some ranchers out there that would hire a temporary farmhand as well.
Good luck.
wjrii@lemmy.world 9 months ago
If it’s within your means, could y’all take a long trip out that way?
This is a very good idea, again, if you have means, though it’s probably not absurd if he’s looking to buy. AirBnB’s in Wyoming aren’t super common, but there are options, and frankly most of them are probably “easy mode” in the sense that they’re close to SOMETHING. Get a feel for what it would be like to be stuck there doing your shopping, finding something to eat, finding something to do. Drive to the nearest hospital, then imagine doing it frequently or while in a lot of pain.
Maybe it will be fine, even for ten or fifteen years, but you’re absolutely right to take this one slow and be wary. I know Massachusetts is pretty built up, but it’s not fully paved. Have you floated the idea of moving another 20-30 minutes farther out and finding a little patch of ground? Or doing something SUPER crazy like moving to New Hampshire? 🤣
As another alternative, if he’s determined to have mountains, something just outside Denver or even, sigh, Salt Lake City would blunt some of the biggest issues. Wyoming has almost literally nothing. Cheyenne metro has around 100k people, smaller than Lowell, MA.
Nemo@slrpnk.net 9 months ago
He’s the one being unreasonable.
He’s recently made one big change that he likes and is interested in trying other big changes. See if you can direct him to try something a little saner.
andrewta@lemmy.world 9 months ago
No that’s forward thinking
kikutwo@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Maybe rent a VRBO for a month and try it out.
lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
This is the way. When I had the same dream I took my RV to a remote, rural spot that was in my top 3 for purchasing land in (south of Mossyrock, WA), rented a hipcamp (airbnb for rvs) for 2 months… Views were gorgeous, land was gorgeous and plentiful, people were insanely nice… but man, driving 45 min to wally world (the closest large grocer) sucked ass. The closest gas station being a ~15min drive sucked ass. It was a real eye opener.
Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
I’m in the middle of a similar journey now and it has been eye opening. I’ve dreamed of living up in the mountains. In practice, it’s a huge pain in the ass! Narrow winding roads that take hours to drive just to get to the nearest anything! If I was living off the land with little need to venture out it might be ok, but I’m finding I’d prefer OP’s current situation. Far enough to have some peace and quiet but within reasonable reach to civilization.
kikutwo@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Yeah, it’s great to fantasize about those kind of places, but when you realize that an ambulance is a half hour away it’s sobering.