Jokes aside - I’ve heard, from sex therapist friends that getting off isn’t your partners job. It’s yours. Your partner is there just to help.
Fax machine
Submitted 2 days ago by ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/68edae3b-058e-4a6d-8b16-800d9cbfea53.png
Comments
terminhell@lemmy.world 2 days ago
WilloftheWest@feddit.uk 1 day ago
That just sounds like a refinement of “you’re responsible for your own happiness”, which is a maxim of selfish people abusing therapy talk to justify their apathy/callousness towards their partners.
Partnerships are collaborative efforts for mutual gain, not zero-sum games where we’re individually responsible for maximising our own output from the system. A good partner should actively want to see their partner happy and fulfilled.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
You ARE responsible for your own happiness.
Sometimes that means leaving the relationship because your partner doesn’t do things that help you accomplish that goal, or actively hinders it.
But no one can MAKE you happy. They can only provide an environment that helps it be easier.
Zink@programming.dev 22 hours ago
“you’re responsible for your own happiness” can be a true thing even if you are loving and supportive.
I’m in a similar situation now. I am in a pretty good place after having a very shitty handful of years 2019-2024. My wife is having some of the same issues now, and when I recognize the similarities it only makes me show her more grace and understanding. But then I am obligated to be honest about what I learned over the years, even if my solutions and techniques might not end up being hers.
And the fact that happiness, fulfillment, contentment, peace with the universe, and all that stuff originates from somewhere deep within. It’s along the same lines as the saying that money can’t buy happiness.
theUwUhugger@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Sex therapist sounds a lot more fun job that it probably is!
Grimy@lemmy.world 2 days ago
It’s not premature ejaculation, my partner is just really good at helping. Its always my fault though.
the_radness@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Howdy-do, fellow minute-man!
If your dick can’t do the walking, let your tongue do the talking.
joyjoy@lemm.ee 2 days ago
With the exception of “if you came, it doesn’t mean you consented”
Skullgrid@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I guess, but my history makes me feel like I’m batting a thousand. I guess I bring that “I’ll do what your body needs, lemme know” kinda vibe to the bedroom.
Have there been misses? Of course. Have there been partners that achieved orgasm in ways they didn’t think would happen? Also yes.
Randomgal@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
I mean sure. It’s also okay to want a partner that cares about your experience during intimate, vulnerable acts instead of a guy who sees you as just a useful hole
pmk@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
The caring you describe is part of the helping.
joyjoy@lemm.ee 2 days ago
It’s my party I can cum if I want to
Skullgrid@lemmy.world 2 days ago
sir, this is a fast food establishment.
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
sundray@lemmus.org 2 days ago
Please take off the crown before you leave.
_druid@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
I don’t make her cum, I allow her to, once she’s earned it. And she better thank me for it.
Then hugs and kisses all around, and usually a snack and some coffee after (she loves when I pour her a cup of coffee).
valkyrieangela@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 hours ago
So dreamy 🤤
FeatherConstrictor@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Cute
CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Good shit, makes 'm go nuts.
mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub 2 days ago
If her friends don’t cum- and if they don’t cum- well they’re no friends of mine
ceenote@lemmy.world 2 days ago
You seem to be close to orgasm! Would you like assistance? Please sign this consent form.
loomy@lemy.lol 2 days ago
woke.
valkyrieangela@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 hours ago
sleep.
Charlxmagne@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
nonentity@sh.itjust.works 23 hours ago
She told me to cum, but I was already there…
match@pawb.social 2 days ago
weird how all your sexual partners don’t seem to want to cum when you’re around tho
qarbone@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I’ve noticed these coincidences. It’s starting to look like a pattern.
BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
This makes me think of this clip of Mr. Girl where he sits his girlfriend down and tells her that her orgasm isn’t his responsibility, and goes on to express that he just cares about himself getting off, and pretty sure he said it would be better if she just laid there and didn’t make any noise.
This guy operates on a level of sarcasm that is so constant and extreme, I can’t tell what he’s serious about and what is some type of social commentary. A lot of things he says are so creepy and offensive, it’s just safer to avoid him altogether.
21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 2 days ago
If an own goal was ever worth a trophy this is a great example.
SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Thats a true woman lover
Stovetop@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Title made me think of one of my favorite videos.
otacon239@lemmy.world 2 days ago
YESSSS. This was one of the first videos I ever saw back on the legendary r/youtubehaiku in its heyday.
einlander@lemmy.world 2 days ago
She can cum if she wants to, she can leave her friends behind.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Cuz her friends dont cum and if they don’t cum that’s their choice and I don’t mind.
tpihkal@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Yeah, that’s what my brain said too 😂
anonymouse2@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Cum if she wants to. Cum around the world.
TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I’d rather she bring her friends along…