“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal’s most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it’s doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn’t first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or “knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom”). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.” - Ernest Cline
Discord rule
Submitted 11 months ago by ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/1ce9bf93-fbe7-43ea-b29f-fd0c07beb48c.jpeg
Comments
SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world 11 months ago
NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 11 months ago
If this isn’t a joke (which i think it is), you have a very skewed sense of scientists. If it is a joke, then carry on my dude.
Send_me_nude_girls@feddit.de 11 months ago
Masturbation is an innovator. So many inventions go back to “because porn”. Take current AI development for example, there’s a massive drive because porn and porn has only one job.
sgbrain7@lemm.ee 11 months ago
“The little man in the canoe” might be the best one I’ve heard yet
TheTetrapod@lemmy.world 11 months ago
God, I fucking hate Ernest Cline.
Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Marie Curie had a husband though.
dubyakay@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Had. And then she didn’t. Their marriage only lasted nine years.
pthaloblue@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Reminds me of the Einstein jerk off skit from UCB
lowleveldata@programming.dev 11 months ago
Ridiculous! We should protest this by making Lemmy posts for announcing masturbations
ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Yes annocement #1: im now mastrobating
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 11 months ago
omg, pls! why??? im in bed trying to get sleepy so i can go to work with decent rest tomorrow, but instead, im in bed lmao because you guys want to start a ridiculous movement 😆
Globeparasite@lemmy.world 11 months ago
art source : www.artstation.com/artwork/KrQ9by
Etterra@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Yeah, it’s discord, not fucking 4chan. Have a little decorum, ya reprobate.
Retrograde@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Discorum*
Agent641@lemmy.world 11 months ago
But its still ok to announce when you have just returned from masturbating, right?
Zidane@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Definitely don’t have a text channel for announcing jerkin it
ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 11 months ago
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 11 months ago
Klear@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
The only correct way to announce masturbation.
asteriskeverything@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Now if it was mostly female strangers it would be at least understandable.
RGB3x3@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Yeah, that was a weird way to put that. Clearly nobody in that group has social skills.
r3df0x@7.62x54r.ru 11 months ago
My brother is autistic and this is the type of autistic person who is hated by other autistic people. This is why autistic people hate mentioning it, because they get lumped in with these people.
ieightpi@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Pardon me, but what the hell are you going on about?
Abnorc@lemm.ee 11 months ago
You know, the internal politics of autistic people. Or, supposedly. It could be made up as well.
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Wait, this is getting even more interesting. Who is the kind of autistic person that is hated by other autistic people: (a) people that try to be nice about enforcing a no masterbation announcement rule or (b) people that announce they are going to go masterbate? Also, does your brother fall under a, b, or something else?
Vytle@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It’s almost definitely B. Most people on the spectrum would not say “im gonna go masturbate” and those who are would use autism as an excuse for why they behave that way, which is just not valid. Autism can make it harder to behave in a way that is socially acceptable, but not like this, hence why others on the spectrum dont like people like this. They use autism as a sort of sheild to allow them to behave in ways that are just not right. The best example of this i can think of off hand is Chris-Chan, but they are an extreme case of this. Anyways, people like this make it harder to be upfront on the fact that you are on the spectrum, because the first thing that comes to mind will be people like that.
r3df0x@7.62x54r.ru 11 months ago
Autistic people who announce when they’re going to masturbate make all other autistic people cringe for being so incredibly unaware and making the rest of them look weird.
eager_eagle@lemmy.world 11 months ago
need a hand?
ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 11 months ago
high five
pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 11 months ago
JIM!
Abnorc@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Please redirect all such messages to the masturbation announcement channel.
ICastFist@programming.dev 11 months ago
Hey everyone, I’m going to choke my snake!
AdaleiM@lemmy.world 11 months ago
it’s been three hours, did everything work out
TrickDacy@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Oh, they worked something out.
Agent641@lemmy.world 11 months ago
How’d you go, bud?
bleistift2@feddit.de 11 months ago
That discord’s users must have dedication to make these emotion reactions happen.
TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 11 months ago
that’s pretty standard for just about any major server. not too hard to spell stuff. there’s a keyboard shortcut that lets you hold the emoji menu open.
capt_wolf@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Clbull@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Sounds like a server full of master baiters.
Gbagginsthe3rd@aussie.zone 11 months ago
Go away, baitn
awnery@lemmy.world 11 months ago
as if discord is where weird chat was invented. what’s that, me, oh i’m not familiar at all with the ancient chats!
ramius345@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Image [archive.is/RB5Lb](bash.org archive) I put on my robe and wizard hat.
awnery@lemmy.world 11 months ago
yeah that’s accurate
irmoz@reddthat.com 11 months ago
Oh shut up, literally nobody is impressed about your experience with weird kinky BBS boards
asteriskeverything@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Lightsong@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You have a tiny cock.
awnery@lemmy.world 11 months ago
k bb
Toes@ani.social 11 months ago
Seems those people are under appreciated there, they should cum here!
feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Oh, cum like orgasm (verb) or semen (noun)? That’s a very clever bit of wordplay.
Veneroso@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Okay, what about jousting? Hear me out okay!? Isn’t that how the large hardon collider works?
DrDominate@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I like how the response emojis say “No” and “I came”
Nima@lemmy.world 11 months ago
the “1984” got me good. XD