Be a hero

Comments

• overkrill@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  big alphabet HATES this one trick: i before e except after c

  source

  • Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s the best rule, there are only 923 exceptions to it in the scrabble word list.

    source

    • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The original rule was “I before E, except after C, or when it rhymes with May, like neighbor or weigh.” My mom’s maiden name was an exception to this rule, so she always adds, “and my maiden name.”

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • deacon@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “before “E” except after “C” and when sounding like “A” as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and YOU’LL ALWAYS BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!”

    -Brian Regan

    source
  • wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    But why do you follow arbitrary rules? Why are you part of the system, maaaan?

    source

    • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      My dad’s not a phone!

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Uh what do I win

  source

  • ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    A shit covered head

    source

    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Yaaaaaay

      source
• MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  3 weeks ago I went camping while jacking off and I came across my family doctor’s grandma staring at a pile of leaves. As I got closer I noticed it wasn’t a pile of leaves at all but rather a man that I recognized from somewhere. I realized I had seen him while on a trip to the UK last year at an authentic British fish and chips place my wife and 6 uncles had lunch at. He was vinegar balls Edward, an old fisherman who comes to your table for you to squeeze malt vinegar out of his balls onto your fries for an authentic British experience.

  So here he is on my camping jack just laying there dead, I did what any smart person would do and I pulled out my Swiss Army knife and hacked off his sack. 2 weeks later I went back to the UK and sold his scrotum and balls to that restaurant, they were about to go out of business without malt vinegar so they were extremely appreciative when I brought them the vinegar balls. The mayor of the town named a street after me and gave me six packs of smokes. I smoked them all that day despite being a non smoker because I needed to show that I was thankful for the gift.

  In 3 months I’ll be going on another camping trip with my step grandpa, no jacking off allowed this time but maybe I’ll find a corpse that’ll haunt me forever. All it takes is 6 packs of smokes and a pocket full of belly buttons. That’s right, I’m totally a smoker now because smoking is the coolest fuckin thing anyone could ever do.

  source

  • EdgeOfDistraction@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    You know how I know that story’s fake? You said fries instead of chips. You’re nothing but a phoney!

    source
  • FreshLight@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Ah shit, aneurysmposting is leaking again

    source
  • wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    wat

    source
  • GelatinGeorge@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s not quite at the William S. Burroughs level of batshittery just yet but you’re not far off.

    source

    • MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      William S Buttholes is my favourite author because the S stands for Shlong.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• altphoto@lemmy.today ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I have a great story about a migrant…friends with my grampa (totally not my grampa as I have been told to declare), who was also a migrant in the fields of Ventura county CA a long time ago. Both are dead, do don’t try to look this up.

  Anyway it goes like this. After a hard day at work they hit the restroom. There’s no paper and the toilet is clogged, so they poop on a news paper. There’s a river or some sort of OK disposal are behind the restroom. So grampa goes first, tosses the the poop out the window. He was a tall man and the window was open. The other guy was a shorty and so he tried to toss the poop out. However unfortunate, his aim was bad and instead the poop went straight up into the ceiling fan.

  Whenever someone tells me that phrase about the shit hitting the fan I try to contain my desire to tell my family story.

  Good day all! I hope your aim is good and your windows are within reach! God bless our migrants and god bless the USA!

  source
• DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  “I” before “e”, except after “c”. Literally the easiest rule to remember because it’s alliterative. And, yes, I know it’s far from complete, but it would have worked here.

  source

  • MBech@feddit.dk ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    1000015782

    source
  • bdonvr@thelemmy.club ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s a stupid phrase that only works here by chance

    source

    • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      But it works and that’s what matters /s

      source
  • CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You have a better chance of the word being spelled correctly, doing the opposite.

    source
• HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I was at a strop club once for a bachelor party and went to the stall to do a bump. Confronted by a giant turd out of place. Go back to the boys and describe that to a friend of the bachelor. He leans on and whispers ’that was me’

  source

  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    And here I thought this was going to be a classy story when I read you were doing blow in a skinbar bathroom.

    source
• Lisk91@sh.itjust.works ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Image

  source
• Chick0nPlayz@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Been there, done that

  source