Submitted 3 weeks ago by Beep@lemmus.org to technology@lemmy.world
Objectification, hate, rape threats: the politicians debating online abuse mean well, but to truly understand, they need to see what I see
NEVER use social media that requires your personal information. Try not to use it at all.
This is a voluntary social disease. It’s not necessary.
My teachers taught me to never ever give my personal data away to strangers for my own safety. Now politicians want to force everyone to do just that. For safety reasons…
You cannot ask a 15 year old for that. They are subject to peer pressure. The only way is to forbid or restrict the access to Social Media to minors. The real question is: who must do it?
Forbid this, forbid that… How about actual fucking parenting instead? As a “zoomer” who used to use antisocial media back when I was 15 but didn’t end up encountering all this objectification crap 'til much later on in life despite being having better computer skills than my parents, let me testify that having hobbies helps. And most of my hobbies developed with considerable help from my parents whom I was able to ask for help/advice.
The problem is if everyone uses it then it creates great pressure for others to also use it. I try to avoid it as best I can and prefer to only use platform where I can post under a variety of names without hard links to my real identity.
the politicians debating online abuse mean well
Hard disagree.
That sounds awful why would you keep using a platform like that?
Presumably because all of her friends do, and if she quits using it, then she’ll be left out of her friends’ group chats on IG and be out of the loop on jokes and memes between her friends. Might seem unimportant to an adult, but devastating for a teenager.
Your comment is similar to saying “cyberbullying isn’t real, just turn off the PC”. Because getting pushed out of social spaces on the internet leaves kids feeling isolated, and deprives them of access to shared spaces that their friends use to connect with each other.
One might say “They can just connect in person!” Presumably they do, but the internet is an inescapable part of modern life and that is unlikely to change. We should push for a better internet, rather than telling people to simply stop using it if they’re suffering.
I used to be bullied hard in elementary for being neurodivergent and “living under a rock”, and I did not know what was cool or uncool because I didn’t have WiFi at home. To illustrate how ridiculous it was, I got bullied for playing Minecraft to the point that if I left my redstone blueprints on my table they would crumple it, and whenever I ate vegetables they would say, “ew vegetables!!!”.
How about using just the chat feature or maybe watching her friends stories and posts, instead of doom scrolling reels from strangers? It’s not hard myself. But perhaps it’s harder if you spend your entire day on your phone hopping between various doom scroll brainrotting apps.
This article is to push legislation to kick her off. She is saying “it would be a good thing for under 16s to be banned from social media”. So I think saying why do you feel this way but continue to engage is a fair point.
This is not the average experience so instead of everyone being punished it should be addressed on an individual level. Plenty of people have a healthy relationship with it.
But what’s the cost of them being forced to use these online spaces to connect? Is it greater or less than the cost of not using them at all? Seems to me the balance is going farther and farther to the side of using them being worse than not every day. Body shaming, predators, addiction. We didn’t let kids smoke because it increased their social circle did we?
Interesting article and I think it really highlights how toxic some parts of the Internet are. My only issue is the conclusion,
A social media ban for under-16s might prevent young boys seeing endless content that treats women with contempt and hate. Boys at this age are very susceptible to the cool and funny framing of what is, in reality, relentless misogyny. A ban might not fix the problem, but it would help. If society can’t stop it, it can show it disapproves.
Emphasis mine. Having grown up in a different era I can confirm that boys of a wide variety of ages, including much older “boys”, can also be scumbags. Even if we had the perfect technology to ban under-16s from social media, once they hit 16 they’d still be exposed to it, still become terrible people, and the author of this article, although a but older, would still see it. I don’t know if that really is a better world, just a slightly delayed one.
I don’t know the solution, but I remember reading once that some online game would put all the reported and abusive players into a special category where they would be forced to play only with each other. Maybe we can do that in this case.
I kind of feel like social media already does put toxic people together and that has lead them to compete on how toxic they can be. I don’t think forcing gross people into communities with a bunch of people who think the same way helps at all. Being seperated from that and seeing more perspectives seems better.
You’re right that putting people in bubbles is probably one way some of these things get worse. If all you see is toxic, toxic is the norm, now you’re always toxic.
Maybe they can tricked.
Although really what we’re talking about is the algorithm that currently exists being focused on highlighting terrible people doing terrible things. Can we turn that same algorithm around and use it for good?
I have a small tight group of guys and gals I occasionally play online games with and I seldom play games where I’m matched up with strangers. It’s not worth it.
As soon as they hear you are a chick… Most usually start with the low hanging fruit “You fat and ugly”
Although one time some guy kept saying I was probably old. Like 40. With 2 kids. I thought that was slightly more creative. But still basic.
I am 40 actually. But I don’t have kids and told him No crotch goblins for me. They might end up like him.
Then told him I could tell he was nervous cause his voice was shakey. Asked him if this was his first time talking to a female.
Then I blocked him and left the game so he could do any come back.
It’s really sad how prevalent it is.
I think it depends a lot on the games, communities, and moderation, though.
In my games, at least, I wouldn’t say I see much toxicity, even when it can feel different because of its impact. When I do see toxicity, I consistently report and block.
In all my years, I think I can count misogyny in my games (towards others I overhear) on one hand. Which, of course, doesn’t invalidate those who have different experiences. Many women choose not to talk at all because of these issues, which makes it less likely for other people to experience and see such occurrences.
I find more recent developments interesting where people can change their voice to male and female, which allows people to talk with their voice, but not be identifiable as one or the other. Hopefully it can enable people and make them more comfortable.
Ive also encountered misogynist comments directed at male friends who play games with me.
On a few occasions I’ve had my best guy pal I play with be bombarded with comments about how he’s a simp if he helps me in any way in the game.
I told this guy friend I was mad for him. He said he just ignores it but. It’s pretty shitty.
Being cooperative doesn’t make him a simp. We like playing games together cause we have a fun dynamic. I kinda hated that other men were trying to make him feel bad about it.
Mysoginist men really try to enforce other men to bend to their rules just as much as they harass women.
This young woman is an exceptional writer. Not many her age can achieve such coherency and well laid structure in longer essays.
I hope she will continue using her skills and keep fighting against this new rise of misogyny.
In no way discounting her experience, but it’s almost like she’s a woman and not a man and she sees things from the woman’s perspective.
It’s a cruel reality, and without having to do a battle of the sexes comparison, everybody gets this bullshit, regardless of gender identity or sex.
Ever been a man and walked into a woman’s online space and see the bullshit that goes on there, the horrible accusations, derogatory dialogue?
People are assholes, and when you go on a platform filled with assholes, they’re going to be assholes. Solution, stop going to those places and live in the real world.
Ever been a man and walked into a woman’s online space
Yes, and it’s miles better than most men’s online spaces
Got anything to back that up, other than “that’s how I feel about it” or nah?
I know you likely don’t, but maybe you’ll surprise me.
it’s almost like she’s a woman and not a man and she sees things from the woman’s perspective.
yeah right, how dare she!!! the audacity of females these days, talking about their problems. unbelievable!!!
you’re no better than the shitheads this article is about. fuck you and your “both sides” nonsense.
Fuck you, for calling her a female, you sexist piece of shit!
I might be wrong but it just seems like you stopped short of saying “not all men”. Did you forget that bit?
I would encourage you to read what is said and try to understand it, versus taking this tired, feeble, accusatory approach.
15 would make her a girl, not a woman
Solution, stop going to those places and live in the real world.
Agreed with you until this point. You realize the people online are the same people from real life, right?
That’s not how it works, perhaps you might want to close your apps for a few weeks and live in the real world and then you will realize it is nothing like the online spaces.
I assume everyone reading this is informed enough to know that social media is terrible for people of all genders. It’s a custom hell just for you.
I empathize but what does she want? People are assholes. They’re assholes on social media and they’re assholes everywhere else.
Well, uh… I think she wants people to get better. Like all of us.
Best we can do is find new ways to be assholes.
If only we could hold social media’s billionaires accountable or something. Unfortunately, that is impossible, and we can and should never imagine a better world
I generally want to make billionaires pay, just as a general rule.
But I don’t see this one specific instance being their fault.
We used to burn women alive if they knew how to do math. Since that time, things have gotten a little bit better. But not much.
People are assholes. All around you are assholes. These assholes go online and continue to be assholes.
There’s a little thing called “free speech”. Govt doesn’t have the power to regulate speech.
Moderation? All mainstream social media has done away with it and blatantly allows that stuff to happen.
I feel bad for my indian nieces, they get the worst of all worlds on the internet, think they stick to roblox tho no social media for them
roblox tho no social media for them
Oh boy… in sorry to be the one to point this out. Roblox is a problem.
Ik but they do dress to impress type kid sht, not really chatting and not that much videogame type screen time, they more watch youtube/tv, groomings everywhere, at least they arent actively facing racism for their appearence/culture since thats not exposed
I heard a comedian once compare the Internet to driving in traffic. A lot of people in the Internet treat each other like crap. I would argue that it’s even promoted on some platforms. I don’t see this changing.
She doesn’t know the half of it. She’s a good kid
“Bop” stands for “been over passed”
No, it’s not. It means “a good song”.
Nothing on UrbanDictionary, nothing on even Google. What is this nonsense?
Sexual equality has ceased to exist online.
It never existed in the first place, so there’s that.
Anyway, yeah, internet bad. Time to ban all sub-16 children from Social Media. It’s been long overdue.
Hopefully the next generation of girls and boys growing up just never starts using these shit platforms and they all collapse under their own bullshit in the next few years. Social media is absolutely not necessary and is actively detrimental to good health.
Read a bit into this. That’s not how teens write.
What makes you say this?
There’s a lot of astroturfing online in favor of online censorship and inacting online verifications.
Proofreading with adjustments?
ilinamorato@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Let me stop you there
eager_eagle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’d give her a pass for being 15
ilinamorato@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That’s fair. She’ll get it.
lemmyng@piefed.ca 3 weeks ago
The politicians debating online abuse claim to mean well.