I hate it when people use pictures showing the condiments only on top of a hot dog.

Comments

• prime_number_314159@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  People with big mouths (like me, I have a big mouth) eat hotdogs in bites that span left to right, and top to bottom along (approximately) a plane that lies perpendicular to the axis along which the hotdog was extruded. With this approach, the condiments merely have to run the length of the hotdog (or just the bun if you dislike messy eating) in order for them to participate in every bite.

  Only small mouth dweebs that can’t fit a wide, juicy frank into their mouth when they’re gobbling down a… Nevermind, I think I got sidetracked.

  source

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    No dawg, you gotta flip it turn-ways.

    source
• MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  They only do zhe lazy way here (press hole in bun, add sauce, add sausage) so you have non-absorbent bread and sauce only in the bottom.

  source

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That sounds equally inefficient. I’m sorry that you have to put up with such uncultured swine.

    source
• HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Who here likes hot weiners?

  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_wiener

  source
• HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I actually prefer putting the stuff on the bun under the hotdog.

  source
• OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Replace that boring mustard with spicy brown and that’s exactly how I do a dog.

  source

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Under? So the first half is just plain dog?

    source

    • OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Are you eating your dogs sideways? Every bite has mustard on it.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
    • AA5B@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Under. So the mustard is less likely to glop onto your shirt

      source
• Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  What do you mean gone halfway through? Are you eating your hot dogs lime a sandwich? You gotta throat that bad boy.

  source

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Uh yeah, I do throat it. Top down, like a normal person.

    source
• BoosBeau@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Who tf out here is putting bread around their hotdogs??

  source

  • FridaySteve@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    What do you do? Slide them straight down your gullet and eat the bread separate like Kobayashi?

    source

    • BoosBeau@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Excuse me, FridaySteve, but I sit on them like a proper gentleman.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• bitwolf@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I’m confused. If I put mustard on a hotdog it looks exactly like that.

  source

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    So you like eating all the mustard right away, and then having the second half be plain?

    source

    • bitwolf@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Ohh you eat it like a sub? 😅

      I only do that if I’m lazy and use sandwich bread for a roll.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
    • PlaidBaron@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      How the fuck you eating your hotdog?

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I always use a syringe to get the condiments into the doggo

  source

  • AlolanYoda@mander.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Spin-coated fast food sauces

    source
  • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Submerge weiner in condiments and bake to have it fully encased.

    source

    • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Oooh, since they are all just disassociated globs of meat glued together in plant casing, maybe the move is to mix flavors into the meat before it’s assembled.

      I kid of course, that’s dangerously close to spices and you can’t put spices on hot dog meat.

      source
• PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  What do you mean “gone half way through”?

  It’s simply there, and then it isn’t. There is no intermediary state.

  source

  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    owenfromcanada eats hot dogs the short way.

    source

    • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Fitting the entire width in your mouth at once must be a challenge, but I’ll accept it.

      source
    • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      When you eat as fast as I do, everything is eaten the short way

      source
  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    You should try Schrodinger’s mustard. You haven’t had a proper hotdog until you top it with a superposition.

    source

    • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I don’t have time to observe the hotdog before it’s gone, anyways, so I always at least have mustard on my hotdog, even if I also don’t have mustard on my hotdog.

      source
• pyre@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  you’re supposed to eat a hotdog end to end, you weirdo

  source

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I mean, yeah, you eat both ends. From the top down, though.

    source
• Nomorereddit@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  How many dogs do you eat a year would you say?

  source

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Hot or regular?

    source

    • Nomorereddit@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      The ones that can disappear from sight if left alone at a picnic.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You put it on top so that the flavor of the condiments doesn’t overpower each bite.

  source

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    If you put it on top, condiments is all you’d taste for the first few bites, then it would just be a plain dog the rest of the way. Why would anyone do that?

    source

    • dogdeanafternoon@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      How are you getting plain dog after first few bites? I’m picturing you eating a hot dog like corn on the cob

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• JayFonduh@lemmy.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Mustard belongs in the trash. Hotdogs belong with jesus.

  source

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Are you suggesting Jesus belongs in the trash?

    source

    • JayFonduh@lemmy.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Are you trying to put Jesus in my mouth?

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• xyguy@startrek.website ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You put mustard on top and then spin the hotdog do the mustard is applied 360° and doesnt get all over you while you eat it.

  source

  • PurplebeanZ@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Yep that’s what I do pretty much. Line of ketchup down the left, mustard down the right, then spinnnnn

    source
  • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I think you just changed my hot dog game. I need to try rotating my weiner.

    source

    • AA5B@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You could even call it windmilling

      source
  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This sounds promising, but how do you spin the dog when it is hot? Do you have some sort of dog rotation apparatus?

    source

    • xyguy@startrek.website ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Use a napkin or suffer a minor finger burn. Worth it for the outcome.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • djehuti@programming.dev ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This is The Way

    source
• RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  ITT: I cannot believe the debate over hot dog size, bun size, and condiment application, lol.

  source

  • veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    And what’s the deal with hot dogs coming in packs of 6, and buns in 8? Atleast if it was the other way around, we could shove’em up our asses and call it a day. Laugh track, followed by stupid Seinfeld jingle

    source
  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BRATWURST

    source
• BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  What I dislike about hot dogs is the fact that the sausage is bigger than the buns, I want smaller sausage so that I can fit more toppings and condiments on it without any of it spilling out from the sides with every bite, a plain sausage and bun is boring for me

  source

  • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I disagree, I feel like the bread to dog ratio is always slightly too high, and I end up tearing some roll off

    source

    • Enkers@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I just position mine so the end is how I want it, and sometimes that means the first bite is mostly bread.

      source
  • Anomnomnomaly@feddit.uk ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    When I make a hot dog, I cont the bun open, but also hollow it out a little… this gives ample room for extras and allows you to actually ‘close’ the bun and avoid spillage.

    source

    • AA5B@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      My grocery store has started carrying “hot dog pitas”! You can fit so many toppings!

      (Or really just a lot of onions and chili)

      source
  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The sausage being too big is a more common complaint than people realize. Everyone assumes bigger is always better, but past a certain size it can be uncomfortable or even painful.

    You can work your way up to bigger sausages, though. Take your time, try to stay relaxed, and don’t forget to use a condiment!

    source

    • BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Sometimes I can’t even fit my mouth around it

      source

      • -> View More Comments
    • Jyrdano@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Top comment

      source
  • Pacattack57@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Lmao what? I’ve never heard of of anything asking for a more imbalanced meat to bun ratio.

    What other toppings are you trying to add? If a Chicago dog can have all its toppings with a polish sausage there’s no reason a normal hot dog couldn’t hold more of what you need.

    source
• roguetrick@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Image

  source

  • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I like how he’s delicately cradling the ballsbun

    source
  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Dishonorable discharge for Sgt Chowchow

    source

    • finitebanjo@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      No no no, wrong guy, Sgt ChowChow is entrusted with US Nuclear facility codes under admiral Hugh Mann. Now those are names you can trust.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• Theprogressivist@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  OP is the type of guy who takes a shit and stands up to wipe his ass.

  source

  • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I actually do this now because wiping my ass on the toilet gave me a herniated disc. The standing up is way more forgiving to the spine.

    source
  • Cargon@lemmy.ml ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    We are the 25%

    source

    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Sometimes my back hurts to twist. So it’s either that with the football hike, or shower. And work doesn’t have a shower.

      source
  • socsa@piefed.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    OP thinks his farts don’t smell if he can’t smell them.

    source
  • morphballganon@mtgzone.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    How dare they want to do a good job wiping

    source
  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Sir this is not a Wendy’s

    source
• Hudell@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Image

  source
• taiyang@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Shitpost aside, my dad did honey mustard under the dog while topping it with chili and cheese. It’s the only way to do that combo right.

  source
• orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Hear me out… Yellow shell, brown filling, sauces. That’s a soft-shell taco.

  source
• sem@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  WHY DONT YOU POST AN ALTERNATIVE??? HUH??

  Was that too aggressive?

  source
• RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yeah hi I make hotdogs as a job, instructions say all sauces on top. You want it changed, go fight corporate.

  source
• dadarobot@lemmy.ml ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  this dude eating hotdogs like corn on the cob?

  source
• shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Thanks a bunch OP. Now I have a new peeve.

  source
• Steve@startrek.website ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Wut

  source
• Triumph@fedia.io ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Do you eat your hot dogs from the top down like a lunatic?

  source
• LordCrom@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I use mustard on the bun first, like glue for the weiner. (2nd grade level giggle) Then i pile on the onions, relish, or whatever on top

  source