Submitted 3 weeks ago by peachgelato@lemmy.zip to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Negative. I got mine at 23, but only because it took me five years to find a doctor who would perform it.
Good luck. Also, the recovery times are very serious.
And everyone is different (duh), but there has been a complete absence of regret. Added bonus: my partners have been very appreciative that the onus of birth control is not on them.
Did you have a rough recovery? I was sore for a few days but I thought it was a breeze, all things considered.
I knew by 22 I never wanted kids. Annoying, noisy, messy, and expensive.
But I listened to everyone around me saying I’d change my mind.
Got snipped at 35, mostly due to the scares and the extra risk to my SO due to recent law changes (abortion being made illegal).
We (my SO and I) both agree I should have just done it sooner, and not listened to everyone claiming my opinions would change.
Everyone tells younger men the same thing it seems. I heard the same bullshit from the time I started talking about it (vasectomy) as a teen. 35 now and nothing has changed, living the dink life with my wife and it’s great.
Yup. They created this shit ass unaffordable world.
Not at all. I would have had it done at 18 in hindsight, but did it in my later 20s. It was bar none the best $50 I’ve ever spent. I’ve known my entire life that I didn’t want to be a parent, and for me that feeling only compounded as I got older. Couple that with the current world situation and local political climate and uncertainty, and it reaffirms my choice.
Technically it is reversible, but I would consider a permanent fix. Regardless, wrap your dick because vasectomies don’t block STDs.
Yo, I had a vasectomy at 31, but then loads of stuff happened and at 33 I met my now wife… and spent $12,000 australian reversing the vasectomy… I was CERTAIN I didn’t want kids.
Just a thought…
That said, I still don’t regret having the vasectomy. I do regret the money lost.
At 22 I thought I had it all figured out.
Now coming up on 32 I look back and think geeze what a dumb arse I was at times.
I’m sure when I’m 42 I’ll think I was dumb now, but a lot had maturing happened for me during my 20s. I would hold off until 30s at least
As a 48 year old expecting his first child, I can confirm that you will always look back and think this and I’m certain I will again in the future.
OP, don’t rush to make these decisions even if there is a good chance that you won’t change your mind. There are medicines that are very close (or maybe available now?) that will achieve some of the same benefits without surgery. There might be a smarter choice for you if you take your time with this decision.
Congratulations on the child, I just found out this morning I’m having a son also my first child.
Do it, but freeze a sample just in case. I didn’t think I wanted any more after I had my first two, but now I do want another one and the doctor said a reversal is pretty much paying $8k to flip a coin. If you die with your sample still on ice, who cares? At least you had the option.
No. I had to wait until I was 25 before they would let me. I’m quite a bit older now and have never even slightly regretted it.
It is potentially possible to reverse. Although its an expensive surgery with low chances of success to get it reversed. I think its also possible to directly extract sperm for artificial insemination but I’m not aware of that method being commercialized.
I personally didn’t want kids until ~30something and would have regretted having done so (and had seriously considered it). Everyone’s different, though 🤷♂️
Yeah 22 is probably a little young. Just wrap that willy bro
First off, thank you for ejaculating responsibility. If more men ejaculated as responsibly as you the world would be a better place. You might be on the young side but vasectomies’ are now reversible with a 90%+ rate. So freeze some sperm for a decade or so if you are really worried about it. So you have some options if you want kids in the future.
So freeze some sperm for a decade or so
Please tell me you didn’t get these ice cubes from the GREEN tray!
Why does your ice taste so odd?
They can also just go into your balls and get sperm.
People forget this lol you still have your balls.
no, bodily autonomy has no age limit
At 22 I didn’t want kids. At 32 I have a kid without regrets. Prior to getting a long-term partner with the same mindset I think it is a bit much unless something or someone has scared you about “baby trapping”.
Vasectomy reversal can usually be done but isn’t always effective.
I got my Vasectomy at 26. I wanted it sooner, but insurance sucks.
I believe firmly that regret is something you make yourself feel or are made to feel. So your family members don’t regret having kids because they haven’t been made to regret that decision.
I haven’t told my family about my snip because I think they would have tried to make me regret it.
That makes sense to me because they want that constant reassurance that their decision was correct. So someone NOT making that decision means it may not have been correct.
If you wanna talk about it more, I’d happily chat with you and be the support you’re not getting.
It’s tough to predict the future. Most people don’t start wanting kids until they’re older than that, or at least until they’re in a serious relationship. Given that you did not mention one, I’m going to assume that you are unattached. Most single people in their twenties want to get laid without having kids.
You may find that a vasectomy is a complete blocker for certain relationships. However, if you truly do not want kids, those would be doomed regardless.
Will you change your mind? Perhaps. Many people’s views on the subject change as they enter their 30s. But that doesn’t mean yours will.
It might also be worth considering why you want a vasectomy right now. If you are single, you should not be hooking up with random people unprotected. If you are in a relationship, this is something that you should discuss with your partner.
Statistically and realistically this relationship isn’t going to last btw.
Many of my friends, especially women friends, didn’t want kids. We’re certain they would never want kids. They pretty much all now have kids, multiple kids.
You guys are kids. Don’t forget that.
This isn’t a substitute for not wearing a condom.
I’d argue it’s too young, purely from a neurological development point of view.
Your prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until your mid to late 20’s. That’s what gives you the ability to evaluate future consequences of your actions.
I got a vasectomy at 25. I wanted one ever since I was 17. It’s now 3.5 years after the procedure and I’m very happy with it. People always fear monger over wHaT iF yOu cHaNgE yOuR mInD. And sure I guess that’s something that could happen. But as another commenter said, it’s a reversible procedure with a high success rate. Adoption is also a possibility. If that doesn’t work for whatever reason then you could always ask a family member to donate sperm so it’s still genetically close to you if that’s important. I’ve never regretted my decision but I did also go into that decision aware of my alternatives if for some reason a reversal didn’t work.
No. You’re old enough to know what you want and make your own decisions. Besides, it’s more to do with maturity and less to do with age anyway - different people mature at different rates and ages. Do you feel mature enough to make that decision? You know yourself best.
No. How can you know that you are not mature by yourself? You will obviously believe that you are, even if you are not.
22 old for boys is not generally mature. He could be the exception, I guess, but I would not ask on Lemmy for such important life decisions if I would consider myself to be mature anyway.
Try thinking about it in 10 years when you are 32. You will have more life experience by then, will know better what you want to do, and see if you remain with this partner or have changed your mind or hera has changed. Boys at that age obviously don’t think about starting a family, but are just horny. Older guys or especially women might start thinking about settling down a decade from now.
Just wear protection until then.
I got a vasectomy at 23, a little over 2 decades ago. I heard the same arguments, but I knew since I was a child that I had zero interest in being a parent.
I think it’s interesting all the folks talking about neurological development, or alluding to wisdom with age. Because we’re on Lemmy, and not somebootlicker MAGA platform, I bet not a single one of those folks would question a 22 year old who said they were gay. Not one damn person would tell you to wait 5 years, or tell you you’re too young, bank your sperm, or you might change with age, or you might meet the right person and become straight for them.
My advice is to be thoughtful, be curious, and ultimately to trust yourself.
Difference being that unlike sexual orientation, desire to have children is something that can be affected quite a lot by just situational circumstances. I’m glad to hear that it worked out well for you, but there are plenty of people who have either wanted or not wanted children when young who have ended up changing their minds, to my knowledge there’s never been an instance of anyone changing their sexual orientation.
Properly used condoms are incredibly effective at preventing pregnancies and have the additional advantage of reducing the spread or STDs, there’s no need to take an irreversible decision quite yet.
Sexual orientation tends to be relatively stable over the life span. Why couldn’t we consider parenting a part of ones orientation? link.springer.com/article/…/s11930-019-00195-x
Your brain doesn’t even finish fully developing until around 25 so like dude give it time
You are going to grow internally, and the external details of your life will change a lot as well
This is not a movie you jump into that’s all I’m saying
Give it at least 5 years
Your life, your body, your choice and all.
But if you dont have a legit medical reason that having children would be ill advised I wouldnt do it. I never wanted kids, I hated kids. But people change, had one at 35 and another on the way at 40…
21yo me absolutely should not have had kids, I would have been a fucking terrible parent and I’m glad i didnt.
YOUR body, YOUR choice!
If you think that you’ll regret it later on, you can always make a deposit to a sperm bank. These days, I highly doubt it’s covered by insurance. Also, you need to do some research (and a lot of phone calls/emails); some places are so damn strict that you need an appointment just to get info.
A friend did that before, he has no regrets. Good luck, young lemming!
Yea, too early. The desire for kids change. I never wanted them and was quite firm on that untill I met the right partner. Got two at around 40 and couldn’t be happier.
Logical me does not want to bring children into this shit show. Emotional me wants to see what sort of freak me and my partner create.
If you make a child, you just functionallymade another wage slave to depress everybody else’s wages around you
I’d say maybe bank some sperm and/or wait until your brain is fully developed
I had my daughter at 38. Everyone’s journey is different. I never wanted kids; the idea scared me, up until my daughter was born. I would not trade her for anything. I’d gladly kill for her. I’d gladly die for her. The greatest joy I have ever known.
Absolutely 100% too young. When you’re 27 you’ll look back at when you were 22 and think you were so dumb compared to now. When you’re 32 you’ll think you were dumb at 27, and that at 22 you were an absolute imbecile.
At 22 you’re basically still a teenager mentally. Making major permanently life altering decisions at 22 is a terrible idea. There’s no need to get a vasectomy until you’ve got kids and don’t want any more imo. There are plenty of non-permanent contraception options for until then.
Not to mention getting a vasectomy will massively decrease your potential wife pool.
To each their own, is my creed; I personally think it’s best to go with the easiest effective solution. Anticonception will do a good job in that regard.
Your genes, your decision if you want to retain the capacity to spread them or not.
Vasectmies are reversible, so the objections youre facing are irrelevant.
No, they’re not always reversible. You can opt for one that isn’t, and even if you decide to go for it, it might simply not work.
You can also die from a knee replacement.
As it turns out, that’s not the typical outcome, so people still get knee replacements, despite the non-zero chance of death during the procedure.
Correct me if I’m wrong. But your testicles will still produce valid material don’t they? That could be extracted and used for artificial insemination if needed, I think.
Vasectmites
*Viltremites entered the chat *
OH NO
Not too young. If you change your mind about wanting kids, adopt. But you probably won’t change your mind.
Perspectivist@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Looking back, I realize I was pretty immature at 22. It didn’t feel that way at the time, but it sure does now. These days, 18‑year‑olds look like kids to me.
I didn’t want kids back then, and I still don’t - but my perspective has shifted a little. When I see parents now, there’s a slight melancholic feeling that comes with knowing that’s something I’ll probably never experience.
So yeah, if you’re 30 and don’t want kids, that’s probably not going to change. Before that, though, there’s always a chance.
nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
Fostering and adopting is a thing. And can be just as, if not more, rewarding.
Over the years I have unofficially fostered a few kids, run aways that I took In and their parents realized it was better for them to stay with me rather than forcing them home to run away again to who knows where this time.
I see one of them from time to time around town and always tells me about work and his girl friend, no I do not have the same relationship with him as I do my own kids, but he only lived with me for 6 months, and that time greatly improved his home situation.
Regna@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’ve done this unofficial fostering myself. I make sure that I don’t claim all ”my” kids, they are still their own individuals and have all rights to connect with their families and cultures. I love my kids, both bio and not. I wouldn’t want to be without them. But I still am sure I should have had other options achieved when I was younger. So I concur with the commenter I replied to now and OP. Don’t let family pressure fuck your life up.
zr0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Can fully agree and would even say wait until 32