Submitted 7 months ago by peachgelato@lemmy.zip to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
This is why you shouldn’t tell them.
None of their damn business.
In any case. It sounds like you’ve thought it through and it’s not an impulsive thing. So no. It’s not “too early.”
(And in any case it’s usually reversible, of you do. Expensive and more invasive than the original procedure, and it’s not always certain. But the potential is there.)
As someone who recently got a vasectomy at 27, I know how you’re feeling. I also never wanted kids, and have thought about getting a vasectomy from the moment it became legal for me. I still decided against it in the beginning, simply because condoms are easy and available, and I never really slept around too much. Then I met my partner, we talked about kids, and we both decided that we don’t want them, ever. So I had my vasectomy, and was recently cleared as sterile.
For me this was the perfect solution, as I never felt like I was rushing into something, I didn’t have to worry about what my partner would think, or if there might be a change in the future.
When I was 20 they told me that I’d change my mind about kids when I’m older.
I’m still waiting to get older.
You’re an adult and it’s your body, if you want a vasectomy, get a vasectomy.
That being said, I was 100% I didn’t want kids when I was your age. Now I’m 37 and trying to have kids. Obviously that doesn’t mean you’ll change your mind, but it can happen.
Is freezing some guys an option just in case? Or have I watched to many movies?
The vasectomies are usually reversible. It’s not a non issue as it’s usually expensive and not covered by insurance, and it’s not 100% every case, but it can be done.
Yea, too early. The desire for kids change. I never wanted them and was quite firm on that untill I met the right partner. Got two at around 40 and couldn’t be happier.
Logical me does not want to bring children into this shit show. Emotional me wants to see what sort of freak me and my partner create.
If you make a child, you just functionallymade another wage slave to depress everybody else’s wages around you
It’s reversible
Meh, it’s definitely not 100% chance of success. Every year that passes reduces the chance of a succes to reverse it. Also there is always a risk for other complications like ending up with erectile dysfunction, the chance is really small, but I wouldn’t take it too lightly. Mine also hurt like hell for a week and everything was purple blue. I’m probably the exception, but I definitely don’t want to do it a second time.
A friend who had it reversed said that the reverse op was extremely painful (Vs the vasectomy which apparently was painless)
This is what everyone I know that had one told me. The operation was not that bad, maybe a 5/10 on pain. The days after my ballsack was getting really purple blue and parts of my penis also. After about a week I went to a doctor to make sure this was “normal”, he said everything looked ok, but I’m just unlucky as for most guys it is almost painless. About 10 days after things got better in a couple of days.
I don’t want to scare anyone but going in thinking it will not hurt is not for everyone. For me thinking it shouldn’t hurt (while it did) made me worry much more, thinking they might have messed something up.
Knew I didn’t want or like kids at age 10, nearly 41 now , and that dislike of children is stronger every day. One of the better choices in my life was to get sterilized and not have the anxiety of possible baby ever again! Legit get happy every time I think about how less awesome my life would be if kids where in it! You do you man!
Nope
I didn’t want kids til I met my wife when I was 38. I knew she was the one pretty early on and I knew that if I wanted to to keep dating her I’d have to reconsider my position. I had my first kid at 40 and my 2nd is on the way, and being a father is awesome.
I ended a 5 1/2 year relationship because I didn’t want kids with her. The partner you’re with definitely matters.
Peiple in this thread act like it would prevent you from having kids. No it wouldn’t. There will always be plenty of people agreeing to give away their sperm. And nobody has to know
Just find a woman that swallows dude. Don’t neuter yourself just yet. Also the pill is very effective these days, and a chemical abortion is also cheap and less invasive than a vasectomy. And if your smart and in a long term relationship you can track your partners ovulation and raw dog some of the time.
What I’m saying is, there are other options. Your also presuming that all the women you fuck will be ok with no condom. Women care about std’s too so you might find yourself needing to wear a rubber anyway. That would be ironic.
I got a vasectomy at 23, a little over 2 decades ago. I heard the same arguments, but I knew since I was a child that I had zero interest in being a parent.
I think it’s interesting all the folks talking about neurological development, or alluding to wisdom with age. Because we’re on Lemmy, and not somebootlicker MAGA platform, I bet not a single one of those folks would question a 22 year old who said they were gay. Not one damn person would tell you to wait 5 years, or tell you you’re too young, bank your sperm, or you might change with age, or you might meet the right person and become straight for them.
My advice is to be thoughtful, be curious, and ultimately to trust yourself.
Difference being that unlike sexual orientation, desire to have children is something that can be affected quite a lot by just situational circumstances. I’m glad to hear that it worked out well for you, but there are plenty of people who have either wanted or not wanted children when young who have ended up changing their minds, to my knowledge there’s never been an instance of anyone changing their sexual orientation.
Properly used condoms are incredibly effective at preventing pregnancies and have the additional advantage of reducing the spread or STDs, there’s no need to take an irreversible decision quite yet.
Sexual orientation tends to be relatively stable over the life span. Why couldn’t we consider parenting a part of ones orientation? link.springer.com/article/…/s11930-019-00195-x
Anecdotally, I feel like im a pretty different person than I was when I was 22. Had first kid at 34, and am now 42.
Analytically, I can’t know for sure if I would have significantly different feelings (e.g. regret, relief, etc.) if I had made different decisions. I recognize that the world is different now for 22 year olds compared to when I was 22. If “regret” avoidance is the main objective, then I’d guess that you could make a better assessment of potential outcomes (your possible feelings of regret) than your family as long as you’ve considered all of those outcome scenarios.
I’d say maybe bank some sperm and/or wait until your brain is fully developed
that is very young, are you rawdogging all the time, or having lots of sex.
I had friends 40 years ago in their early 20s that were adamant that they never wanted kids. Some of them stayed that way and are going into retirement childless and most of them are happy with their decision. A few aren’t but can’t do anything about it. The others discovered, that with with right person, they did want kids and are just as happy. Hard to say which you will be. I know a few young women banking eggs in case they change their mind 10+ years from now and want to have biological children. Can you bank sperm to hedge your bet?
sperm bank probably? but it will be stranger, i dont know how it works if you wan to keep it in storage.
Your brain doesn’t even finish fully developing until around 25 so like dude give it time
You are going to grow internally, and the external details of your life will change a lot as well
This is not a movie you jump into that’s all I’m saying
Give it at least 5 years
I didn’t want kids until I was late 20’s. You might be different, but biology could hit you hard. I just had a vasectomy ~2 mos. ago and my second kid is due around thanksgiving. You do you, but be prepared for biology to disappoint you potentially.
I’m going to dodge the question entirely but I’ll pass along this fact as told to me by a urologist/surgeon:
After ten years, the chances of a successful reversal surgery drop by about 50%.
Also, consider writing down a list of pros and cons and see which column ends up longer.
Yeah dude, that’s very young, you must be tapping everything that moves if a vasectomy sounds better than wearing a condom
Had mine at 20, am nkw.59, no regrets.
Imo, if you are not in a hurry, wait a bit.
I knew I wanted one since about your age, I waited about 4 years until I realized that nothing is changing and I went ahead.
But I’m glad I waited because I now feel very at peace with it and I don’t feel the need to explain it to others.
When my family said that I will change my mind I just ignored them because it felt so meaningless when I already know I wanted this for so many years.
Just remember that it is mostly permanent, there is no guarantee that you can reverse it.
Good luck!
While it’s not guaranteed, chances are very good that it can be reversed. If you change your mind later, you can attempt to reverse it.
Nobody should be having kids before the age of 30 anyway.
Insurance won’t cover a reversal. It will be 100% out of pocket.
$5000-$15,000. If you can’t afford a vasectomy reversal, you can’t afford kids.
I would ask what problem you are trying to solve.
It doesnt sound like youre in a long term relationship as you dont mention a partner, and i figure that youre straight or leaning that way as this wouldnt be an issue otherwise.
So likely you will be meeting women, and having sex, in which case you should be using protection anyways.
A woopsie baby certainly wouldnt be fun, but as long as you’re in the developed parts of the world (not including most of the US) there are other means of birth control (his and hers) that still leaves you the option without making a permanent decision right now.
Im also hoping that the surgery is free or covered by something otherwise it might end up being a very pointless expense.
Im 33, i never even thought about kids at 22. I dont have any and im pretty meh on it but id never have made a decision like that when i was your age. Things change.
Hope this helps.
I never wanted kids. I have one now im 40, and no regrets there, but the fact they’re my biological child is bc my husband really wanted that. I would’ve been fine with adopting.
Consider you meet an amazing woman who really wants kids, and her her you’ll do it, would you be OK with adopting? Or may e she wants to experience pregnancy, would you be ok with a sperms donor? You may find someone you really want to have kids with, in which case you may have to do a reversal. Ask the dr about all the options.
Chances are you won’t change your mind, but you might, life is a funny thing. Have a plan and maybe even write a letter to your future self. What’s your reasoning?
Your body your choice but this is a big decision, so think it through
Hell nah lmao I got surgically sterilised at 22 (had most of my reproductive system cut out), and while my attitudes towards children have softened since then it's still the best decision I ever made.
Absolutely 100% too young. When you’re 27 you’ll look back at when you were 22 and think you were so dumb compared to now. When you’re 32 you’ll think you were dumb at 27, and that at 22 you were an absolute imbecile.
At 22 you’re basically still a teenager mentally. Making major permanently life altering decisions at 22 is a terrible idea. There’s no need to get a vasectomy until you’ve got kids and don’t want any more imo. There are plenty of non-permanent contraception options for until then.
Not to mention getting a vasectomy will massively decrease your potential wife pool.
To each their own, is my creed; I personally think it’s best to go with the easiest effective solution. Anticonception will do a good job in that regard.
Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world 7 months ago
22 is too young. From a purely clinical point of view your brain isn’t done maturing and you haven’t hit the prime years of your life.
But there is no option in the US for male birth control and there is a chance that the vasectomy can be reverse, so do what you think you need t so. It’s not a chance I would take though.