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Guaranteed NO ONE ever used this on their face

⁨326⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Mickey7@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/dc4f3392-2bb5-49fc-8b82-5040f5281ec1.png

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Comments

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  • kami@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Enjoy the benefits if a cordless massager that gives a gentle penetrating massage

    They totally knew what they were doing.

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    • danekrae@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      7 inches long. Sturdy high impact plastic.

      That’s what everybody asks about when buying products for your face.

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  • ReCursing@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I have to massage my face due to nerve damage. I bought a massage gun but it is too violent, so I am seriously considering buyijg a cheap sex toy specifically to massage my face!

    …but I may be the only one

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    • dickalan@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Even ones with an adjustable dial are too rough? First off I’m sorry you have nerve damage that sucks second off. I hope the hand dildo works.

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    • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I use an intimate vibrator on my face occasionally to loose up my sinuses. Just give it a good wash before and after; there’s nothing wrong with it.

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      • zakobjoa@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Oh my God that is such a great idea

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      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        “hey honey can you- what the fuck”

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      • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Does it work?

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    • cokeslutgarbage@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I use my vibrator on my neck sometimes when I have a migraine, it works really well.

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    • tpyo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I advise not to go “cheap” and make sure you get something body safe. (Cheap toys could be made with harmful materials.) Honestly if you go to a sex shop and explain what the need is, they’ll be more than happy to guide you to toys that have the vibrations you need. There’s buzzy or rumbly types and come in a huge range of strengths and textures

      Seriously, they’d be ecstatic to help! And you would absolutely not be the only one

      Unsolicited recommendation?:
      I’m not sure what you need specifically, but something like this might work? lovecrave.com/products/vesper It’s small and you can use the tip for pinpoint or the length of it for a larger area. It is rumbly, surprisingly so for such a small device, and has different strengths (and patterns), and doesn’t look like a sex toy

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    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      what about, like, a regular-ass electric toothbrush?

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      • ReCursing@feddit.uk ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Not a bad call, actually

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    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Get a We-Vibe Touch! It’s got a silicone exterior and it goes from little vibrations to fairly strong.

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      • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        That’s super pricey for this. Any $15 vibe from Amazon will do.

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    • loomy@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      the gun is good

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      • ReCursing@feddit.uk ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Perhaps the most American statement…

        But no, the massage gun was definitely too violent for what I need for my face

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        • -> View More Comments
  • KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I gave one of these to my girlfriend the day before I had to go away on business for 2 months.

    She said “What is this for?”

    I said “It’s a replacement for my you-know-what.”

    She said “Oh, ok. I think I get it.”

    I got home 2 months later and she had 3 chipped teeth.

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    • big_slap@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Image

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      1000001701

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  • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Yeah, but when I was a kid back in the 80’s and saw them in the mail order catalogs, I completely believed they were just head and neck massagers.

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    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      They can be. Just keep a good grip on the base. You don’t want to choke.

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  • Kaput@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I almost bought one as a Christmas present for my mom when I was ten. The last in the catalogue was holding it to her shoulder… I’m so glad I picked the brass penguin instead.

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  • Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    What's the bet that the "sturdy high impact plastic" isn't body safe?

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    • tpyo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Is there a percentage higher than 100?

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    • BreadOven@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      It doesn’t release microplastics, it releases macroplastics.

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  • PTSDwarrior@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Reminds me of the Adult Swim ad for salad tossers that looked suspiciously like…a tool that really gives women pleasure. And here it is: Salad Mixxxer

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  • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Careful though, it doesn’t have a flared base.

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  • FelixCress@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I would, after.

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    • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      🤣

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  • mastod0n@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    It never was intended as a “face massager”.

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