I do wonder if there’s a possible tipping point caused by event so egregious, so unjust, that The Onion would feel compelled to report on it factually & earnestly…
Things are getting really crazy.
Submitted 10 months ago by phudgins@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/baba92d1-b79c-482c-99fc-aea34cd71656.jpeg
Comments
NocturnalEngineer@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Freshparsnip@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Luigi Mangione has been selectedcas the new pope
kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
“IT’S OUR JOB TO MAKE UP SHIT STORIES NOT YOURS!!!” -Onion to God
altphoto@lemmy.today 10 months ago
Re-open Alcatraz as a tourist attraction with real live criminals like a petting zoo but for violent offenders.
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 10 months ago
Take over Greenland, and rename it Red,White and Blueland
Oh wait that one is already taken!
WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 10 months ago
The re-open is already being discussed so that’s on track.
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Doo Bop
Shoobody Doo Bopabbadon420@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Snowwomen@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
I had an idea for one, something like: “Vatican Conclave Elects to End Papcy, sell off all Vatican possessions to feed the needy, and entrust the direction of the church to God’s hands.”
frezik@midwest.social 10 months ago
They’ve been doing a surprisingly good job. Like “Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentration Camp Sign Of Healthy Society”. We can debate if the prison in El Salvador counts as a concentration camp (IMO it very clearly is) or a death camp (IMO it is not, but we’re probably headed there), but the fact that we’re even having that debate is a very bad sign.
exasperation@lemm.ee 10 months ago
I’m a subscriber to their monthly print copy, and a lot of the stories in the print version don’t make it to the website as quickly. I’ve got the February copy on my desk with the following headlines:
- Trump Administration Offers Free At-Home Loyalty Tests: Tool That Diagnoses Disobedience to be Mailed to U.S. Households
- U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Combat - Wars Will No Longer Be Fought By Male Shannons, Terrys, or Carmens
- Baby Saves Affair: Illicit Relationship Rekindled by Out-of-Wedlock Birth
As far as I can tell, these articles never made it online. And they are funny. Good coffee table material.
Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Ohhh the greatness of the image is from The shoe body bop
It’ll get stuck in your head forever, your welcomeHonorable mention of the prequel Something terribly offensive
BreadOven@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I have never laid eyes on this. Thank you 1000 times for linking these videos.
CaptSatelliteJack@lemy.lol 10 months ago
For maximum effect, play Shoebody at 2x, it’s a whole different hit
Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Happily! I’m glad you’ve been enlightened!
ElectricTrombone@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Holy shit. This is the guy that did the grill video. I thought it was gone forever. Thank you.
faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 10 months ago
You’re not wrong about it being stuck in your head forever.
Alteon@lemmy.world 10 months ago
What do you mean saved it? As in just posted it on YouTube?
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 10 months ago
But then the new guy reads the incantation wrong so we get another dumb thing for real instead. Great job, Frank, this is why nobody likes you.
Kowowow@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
It worked for the oblivion remaster
slashasdf@feddit.nl 10 months ago
For gods sake, why won’t the devs roll back the simulation to an older save?!
sbv@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
They’ve been frantically rolling back repeatedly, and the simulation just keeps going off the rails. Didn’t you see the posts in ten forward?
cm0002@lemmy.world 10 months ago
The off-site backup is in another galaxy, it’ll take a bit to get here
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Not necessarily if you take the mandela effect seriously. My favorite mandela effect is the collective wrong memory that instead of Sanders, Trump was elected. I’m glad I escaped that universe (or rather I’m trying to)
folekaule@lemmy.world 10 months ago
The request has been submitted to uservoice and has 265,567 votes, so it will probably be any time now.
solsangraal@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
it’s like that south park episode where prof chaos is trying to come up with an evil plan for world domination, but can’t because the simpsons already did it
except it’s real life
andros_rex@lemmy.world 10 months ago
CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
The problem was that The Onion tipped their hand. They needed to do what these high class tax dodgers do and create a completely separate legal entity (e.g. Information Combat Readiness Group) and submit bids under that name. Once purchased, sell the company to The Onion for pennies, or if they are really smart, rent the assets to the Onion for bajillion dollars, which then the Onion can write off and pay less taxes.
And yes, that’s how our corporate tax system works.
andros_rex@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Honestly, what my divorce taught me is that the legal system is set up to protect rich white men from ever experiencing consequences. Obstructing the courts is a great strategy, because you can just draw things out until people give up.
Which is basically what this still is - Jones lost on default because he was refusing to provide evidence or follow the rules. But he’s still getting to opt out of the rules.
Draegur@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Pretty soon, the only thing that will be left which demonstrates sufficient capacity to hallucinate hilariously idiotic and false bullshit will be AI ._.