Maybe they just forgot which cave they left him in, couldn’t find the right one later and then decided to commit to the resurrection thing rather than admitting that they lost him.
Praise jeebus
Submitted 10 months ago by diemartin@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/64008c82-41f2-4498-b55a-c0cad0c0d1a0.jpeg
Comments
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 10 months ago
FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 10 months ago
Is that what they mean when they say “have you found jeebus?”
I always say “how did you cunts lose him in the first place, he was nailed to a fucking plus-sign?”
libra00@lemmy.world 10 months ago
He was behind the couch this whole time.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world 10 months ago
My Brother in Chrysler, that’s a lowercase t
match@pawb.social 10 months ago
was jesus’s first name Kilmar?
zakobjoa@lemmy.world 10 months ago
TIL that Jesus was 4ft tall.
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 10 months ago
People were a lot shorter back then
Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
And darker skinned
barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Yeah, but where’s Sadam Hussein?
floo@retrolemmy.com 10 months ago
Happy zombie Jesus day!
daggermoon@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Where the fuck is Saddam Hussein?
Mim@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
In a Schnitzelbrötchen in Erlangen apparently.
circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org 10 months ago
He seems pretty short for a messiah
BootyfulBoy@lemmy.world 10 months ago
The short king of kings
Jerb322@lemmy.world 10 months ago
People thought that Dalton would be taller too…
fleebleneeble@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.
n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Ramen
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 10 months ago
So Jesus Christ is the English translation for Saddam Hussein? Interesting, also short king.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 months ago
so being a made up pagan and growing up in a cult i don’t quite understand christianity. is the reason easter was so late this year because jesus saw his shadow on mardi gras?
diemartin@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
We all wanted a 420 themed easter.
TeddE@lemmy.world 10 months ago
The First Council of Nicaea (325) established common Paschal observance by all Christians on the first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox.[18] Even if calculated on the basis of the Gregorian calendar, the date of that full moon sometimes differs from that of the astronomical first full moon after the March equinox.[19]
They wanted “first Sunday of Spring” but defined using their calendar, but that calendar doesn’t mesh perfectly with our calendar (and has leap months every few years), so converting to Gregorian makes it appear to move around.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 10 months ago
They just make shit up as they go and expect everyone to obey and call it the truth.
kiagam@lemmy.world 10 months ago
the first Sunday after the full Moon that occurs on or after the spring equinox.
Definition of arbitrary lol
Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Jesus was tiny.
TheBat@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Resting place? More like hiding place lol
easily3667@lemmus.org 10 months ago
He had to come out cause he ran out of water.
Una@europe.pub 10 months ago
What? Jesus was shorter than 6ft?
j4k3@lemmy.world 10 months ago
inssain
MisterFrog@lemmy.world 9 months ago
This feels like a Lemmy OC, is it?
diemartin@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
It isn’t (probably)
MisterFrog@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Then it’ll just be so in my heart
libra00@lemmy.world 10 months ago
TIL Jesus was only 5’ tall, and also red for some reason.
Jerb322@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Crown of thorns…
libra00@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Those must’ve been some really long thorns if he need to be made that much shorter for his crown to fit within the allotted 6’.
wick@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Short king
raoulduke85@lemm.ee 10 months ago
His body is short bread.