Maybe they just forgot which cave they left him in, couldn’t find the right one later and then decided to commit to the resurrection thing rather than admitting that they lost him.
Praise jeebus
Submitted 4 days ago by diemartin@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/64008c82-41f2-4498-b55a-c0cad0c0d1a0.jpeg
Comments
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 4 days ago
FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 4 days ago
Is that what they mean when they say “have you found jeebus?”
I always say “how did you cunts lose him in the first place, he was nailed to a fucking plus-sign?”
libra00@lemmy.world 3 days ago
He was behind the couch this whole time.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world 3 days ago
My Brother in Chrysler, that’s a lowercase t
match@pawb.social 4 days ago
was jesus’s first name Kilmar?
MisterFrog@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
This feels like a Lemmy OC, is it?
diemartin@sh.itjust.works 6 hours ago
It isn’t (probably)
MisterFrog@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Then it’ll just be so in my heart
zakobjoa@lemmy.world 3 days ago
TIL that Jesus was 4ft tall.
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 3 days ago
People were a lot shorter back then
Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 days ago
And darker skinned
barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Yeah, but where’s Sadam Hussein?
daggermoon@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Where the fuck is Saddam Hussein?
Mim@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
In a Schnitzelbrötchen in Erlangen apparently.
floo@retrolemmy.com 4 days ago
Happy zombie Jesus day!
circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org 3 days ago
He seems pretty short for a messiah
BootyfulBoy@lemmy.world 3 days ago
The short king of kings
Jerb322@lemmy.world 3 days ago
People thought that Dalton would be taller too…
fleebleneeble@lemm.ee 4 days ago
Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.
n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Ramen
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 3 days ago
So Jesus Christ is the English translation for Saddam Hussein? Interesting, also short king.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 days ago
so being a made up pagan and growing up in a cult i don’t quite understand christianity. is the reason easter was so late this year because jesus saw his shadow on mardi gras?
diemartin@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
We all wanted a 420 themed easter.
TeddE@lemmy.world 3 days ago
The First Council of Nicaea (325) established common Paschal observance by all Christians on the first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox.[18] Even if calculated on the basis of the Gregorian calendar, the date of that full moon sometimes differs from that of the astronomical first full moon after the March equinox.[19]
They wanted “first Sunday of Spring” but defined using their calendar, but that calendar doesn’t mesh perfectly with our calendar (and has leap months every few years), so converting to Gregorian makes it appear to move around.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 3 days ago
They just make shit up as they go and expect everyone to obey and call it the truth.
kiagam@lemmy.world 3 days ago
the first Sunday after the full Moon that occurs on or after the spring equinox.
Definition of arbitrary lol
TheBat@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Resting place? More like hiding place lol
easily3667@lemmus.org 3 days ago
He had to come out cause he ran out of water.
Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Jesus was tiny.
Una@europe.pub 3 days ago
What? Jesus was shorter than 6ft?
j4k3@lemmy.world 4 days ago
inssain
libra00@lemmy.world 3 days ago
TIL Jesus was only 5’ tall, and also red for some reason.
Jerb322@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Crown of thorns…
libra00@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Those must’ve been some really long thorns if he need to be made that much shorter for his crown to fit within the allotted 6’.
wick@lemm.ee 3 days ago
Short king
raoulduke85@lemm.ee 3 days ago
His body is short bread.