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There’s no way this could backfire
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Submitted 4 months ago by ForgottenFlux@lemmy.world to technology@lemmy.world
Comments
Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
This is some cyberpunk shit.
Luigi save us
Zorque@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Their response wasn’t to fix the problem, it was to find a better way to subjugate people. Clearly his methods aren’t the solution. They’re just an easy way to pass the problem off to someone else without you having to put in the effort to help fix it yourself.
Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
Then they haven’t had enough.
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Luigi could’ve passed the screening check to become the guy’s bodyguard. Maybe he even would’ve had a better opportunity to escape.
Many, many ruthless tyrants and other nasty people have been killed by their own bodyguards over the years. And these are often guards who have been properly vetted.
How vetted are these Uber rentacops gonna be? No criminal record doesn’t mean you can trust the person if you’re some ruthless bastard with a lot of enemies.
runjun@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Seems like an easy way to get close to a target.
Agent641@lemmy.world 4 months ago
“Yes hello I am your security detail, don’t worry I brought exactly enough bullets.”
apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Gig economy security guards. What the utter fuck.
Arbiter@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Gig economy does not inspire loyalty lmao
KeenFlame@feddit.nu 4 months ago
Ah. So civilian mercs can be bought by corpos for a raid at a moments notice. Great. What’s the patchnotes for the resistance movement again? Oh yeah. Removed the ability to communicate cryptographically. Our only tool. Thanks devs
AutistoMephisto@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Removed the ability to communicate cryptographically. Our only tool.
Not entirely. The old methods still work. I’m talking about old fashioned pen and paper. OTP ciphers and dead drops. Messages, hidden where only the intended recipient knows it’s there. The problem is, there’s no dead drops in cyberspace. There’s no place one can leave a hidden message that can’t be seen by others in cyberspace. And while quantum computing might break OTP, it’s too expensive to use for that purpose.
rivan@lemm.ee 4 months ago
What’s old is new again
echodot@feddit.uk 4 months ago
I’ve always been a fan of book ciphers, but they’re probably really annoying to actually use.
HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today 4 months ago
You’ve got no choice but to give them 5 stars or your cruisin for a bruisin
Donjuanme@lemmy.world 4 months ago
That was my thought, nobody in their right mind (least of all paranoid rich people) would use a third party service that requires them to announce they’re someone of value.
rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
This is only going to be used by poseurs.
KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
Imagine how funny it will be when someone red teams the endpoints and get all their client’s active locations in a JSON
echodot@feddit.uk 4 months ago
Buy a few drones and you could automate the assassination process for maximum efficiency.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Ha ha ha, another quality zinger from The Onion!
…wait, this shit’s real???
x00z@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Lmao they mimic the camera footage of the CEO murder for their promotional image.
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Brian would be proud to know he’s still bringing market value to someone.
SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 4 months ago
How to start a security business.
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Get someone killed
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Create a business that addresses #1
How’s THAT for conspiracy thinking!? :D
echodot@feddit.uk 4 months ago
It’s called a viral marketing
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Hackworth@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Going for a shadow run to the grocery store. Don’t forget to pick up a decker to bypass the ice.
jacecomix@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Interested in seeing how well the armed guard equivalent of “the Uber Eats driver who eats your food instead of delivering it” works out for them.
Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 4 months ago
Background checks can’t catch everyone.
KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
Look at G4S’ track record, for example
SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 4 months ago
The modern aristocracy must be hunted in their native habitats. They are commonly found in walled communities, exclusive islands (i.e. Martha’s Vineyard), exclusive neighborhoods (i.e. Santa Monica, Beverly Hills), luxury stores (i.e. Hermes) and trendy nightclubs. Set up your hunting blind in or just outside of their habitat. Make sure to camouflage it well using native materials like designer labels, advertisements and invitations to political contribution dinners. Use a call to attract them. One that works well is “Annual bonus! Annual bonus!”, “Union forming! Union forming!” or waving a golden parachute. Bait traps also work well such as a pile of designer handbags and the keys to a Bentley.
RangerJosey@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
Venture brothers ass nonsense. 1-888-HENCH.
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 4 months ago
First of all, I hate this.
But also, this is cyberpunk as fuck.
aceshigh@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Sounds like admitting guilt. Those who hire the goons know they are shitty people. Living with self hate must be a bitch.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Eh, I don’t think everyone interested in this service are necessarily bad people. There are a lot of internet celebrities that would really rather not deal with crazy fans that this would be perfect for.
echodot@feddit.uk 4 months ago
These people have enough money to hire private protection already, it’s not the lack of an app that has stopped them from doing so up until this point. It’s simply that they didn’t actually believe they were in any danger from the peons.
b161@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
They’re afraid. 🤭
maniel@sopuli.xyz 4 months ago
Trauma team
oakey66@lemmy.world 4 months ago
What a dystopian nightmare we live in right now. Remember when politicians told us we have choices in our healthcare? I guess it says something that insurance CEOs are so hated that they need armed body guards and we’re so happy about “all our choices”.
Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Are you worried people with guns might try to take your money? Why take chances? You should hire these people with guns who will for sure take your money.
rivan@lemm.ee 4 months ago
In my coping with the horrors of the world, I like to think this is run by a hidden AGI to wack its ideological opponents.
Shardikprime@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Lol
anonymous111@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I think I saw this season of Westworld.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
Isn’t this the world plot of John Wick?
Petter1@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Oh, is this the invitation of DRAMA?
Like from cyberpunk?
Justas@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
It’s all fun and games until the database gets leaked and guards start getting offers to off a particular client.
MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Found a good use for crowdfunding.
Captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 months ago
Exactly, if $ will get you a thug defense…$$ will get you a thug offense.
slaacaa@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Auction mode would be a nice feature
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
It happens
masterofn001@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
¯_(ツ)_/¯
HelixDab2@lemm.ee 4 months ago
…Or one of the guards has a family member kidnapped and held unless they oopsie, looked the wrong way.
MNByChoice@midwest.social 4 months ago
Easier way is just to signup. Maybe they vet some of the bodyguards…