My wife does this all the time, and if I don’t check before I spritz I get an unexpected ball splash.
NSFW for potential topic sensitivity I guess.
I need to join your elves with a bidet. Idk why I’m still living in Mordor.
Leaving the bidet on "feminine" mode is the female equivalent of leaving the toilet seat up.
Submitted 10 months ago by lambdabeta@lemmy.ca to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
https://images.app.goo.gl/r9R9BYYx79KFiSEH9
Comments
Sanctus@lemmy.world 10 months ago
ivanafterall@kbin.social 10 months ago
Same. I think part of me worries it's all I'd ever want to do.
glitch1985@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Just get the ones that aren’t heated and it’ll discourage you from using it too much.
GBU_28@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Saruman had the only bidet in mordor
Zerlyna@lemmy.world 10 months ago
There’s a feminine mode? Aren’t assholes all in the same spot?
DarkSirrush@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Assholes are, but that’s not what it’s for
AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Sometimes a spritz to the gooch is just what I need to remember it takes 2 to tango.
flicker@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Yes but women have a pee hole between their labia and if you don’t rinse that then what even are you doing? I’m not interested in walking around with pee-stained lady parts, thanks.
funkajunk@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Piss-flaps.
They’re called piss-flaps.
DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
There is no reason for the toilet seat to ever be up when you enter the bathroom.
You close the lid before you flush, that’s why it exists.
derf82@lemmy.world 10 months ago
But I like seeing my turds circle the drain
MelodiousFunk@startrek.website 10 months ago
I don’t like it, but watching the flush can save a whole lot of pain. Clogs suck.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Laziness is a reason
andros_rex@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Is the “feminine” mode hygienic? I’d worry about it pushing bacteria and crap up there.
marshadow@lemmy.world 10 months ago
According to my urogynecologist, who specifically instructed me to always point my shower wand downward when washing my nethers, spraying water can indeed push bacteria up there!
It may only be dangerous for the subset of women who have problems requiring a urogynecology specialist in the first place, but better safe than sorry.
kiwifoxtrot@lemmy.world 10 months ago
It is most efficient to leave the toilet seat in the position it is used. The same argument applies for the bidet settings.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 10 months ago
It is most sanitary to close the toilet lid.
A_Toasty_Strudel@lemmy.world 10 months ago
^ This guy’s bathroom smells clean.
LordKitsuna@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Actually some studies were done about that and found that the distribution of bacteria was unchanged in total value the only thing that changed was the positioning of the spread throughout the bathroom with the lid open versus closed.
Unless you get something like an rv style toilet that has a sealing lip the lid actually locks against, but ain’t nobody using that in their house
andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 10 months ago
Do I need to upgrade my bidet? Ours is one dial for cleaning mode which rotates/plugs the sprayer, and one dial for spray, which is just connected to the valve.
NoneYa@lemm.ee 10 months ago
This is how mine is too.
Middle is the off position. Turning to the left is for the butt and turning to the right is for vagina.
There is no setting to leave it to when done except off and the next person to use gets to choose.
Mine isn’t electrically powered, just a valve for opening up the flow of water and then using two different sprayers varying on height.
Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world 10 months ago
You don’t want your balls washed?
yukichigai@kbin.social 10 months ago
You actually have to switch modes? Mine just has a lever that goes either forwards or backwards depending on which nozzle you want to use.
MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
That lever is how you’re switch modes
czech@low.faux.moe 10 months ago
Mine has a dial + lever combo.
recapitated@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Sounds like someone has never gotten up to sit inside of an open toilet when it was dark.
teft@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Why are you hot linking some google images bidet instead of just uploading the image to the post?
ShittyKopper@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
alternatively: why are you linking to an image at all and not just making a text post
lambdabeta@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Answering both: dial image for reference to what the “modes” are, and my dial is gross. Plus that was the best image I could find describing it, but had trouble getting a clean download. Google images can suck that way. If you get me a clean link, I’d update the post.