Stop doing Computer Science

Comments

• whileloop@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  This could be so much longer.

  Killing children, class systems, so many programming language names, the ridiculous ways equality and order-of-operations are done sometimes. Plenty of recursion jokes to be made. Big O notation. Any other ideas?

  source

  • MxM111@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    GOTO

    source

    • Hoimo@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      GOTO is the only thing that makes sense. It’s the “high-level” concepts like for-loops, functions and list comprehension that ruined programming.

      series.append(series[k-1]+series[k-2]) for k in range(2,5)]

      RAVINGS DREAMT UP BY THE UTTERLY DERANGED

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • Gork@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Big Orgasm notation

    source
  • dukk@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors.

    source
  • Lightor@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Masters and slaves Cloning Deploying code (that’s what you do with soldiers!!!1) Using Git to rewrite history.

    These people are madmen.

    source

    • Gustephan@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      One of the slave node’s child process failed, so the master node sent a signal to terminate the child and restart the slave

      There’s pretty solid reason my research group is pushing to use “head node and executor nodes” nomenclature rather than the old-school “master node and slave nodes” nomenclature, haha

      source
  • dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The only reason I enjoy C++ is because I can cast destroy on children and it’s parents if they’re present in the world

    source
  • lowered_lifted@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Floating point operations with decimals not always adding up

    source

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      They always must add up - if they added down then they wouldn’t be floating points now would they!

      source
• Rin@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  `while (true) { print(monry) } isn’t that just crypto mining?

  source

  • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Three years ago, yes. Now? not so much.

    source

    • Rin@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      i mine monero while idle and it prints a massive 0.03GBP a day :)

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • joyjoy@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    JavaScript will actually open the print dialog.

    source
  • BastingChemina@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    This is basically what the bank are doing when you get a loan.

    When you get a $25k loan from a bank the banker does not take money from somewhere to put it in your bank account. The banker basically just add a +25k in your bank account that comes from nowhere.

    source
• bob_wiley@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  [deleted]

  source

  • GlitterInfection@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Crypto, eh?

    source

    • bob_wiley@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      [deleted]

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Depending on what your coworker actually intended to do, you might want to let them know that printers have features built in to make their output traceable, specifically intended for catching counterfeiters.

    source

    • newIdentity@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That’s one of these things that sounds like a crazy conspiracy theory the first time you hear about it, but it’s true

      source
  • normalexit@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    So, uhh… what did the print(money) part look like? Asking for a friend.

    source
• tias@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I actually have that teapot and I use it several times a week.

  Image

  source

  • protput@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Beautiful teapot dude!

    source

    • tias@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Thanks! In computer graphics it’s referred to as the “Utah teapot” because the 3D model was created at the University of Utah. But it was really a Melitta brand teapot. It is still manufactured by German company Friesland, which I bought it from. https://friesland-porzellan.de/utah-teekanne Unfortunately it appears they recently had a fire and the store is temporarily closed, but I think you can also get it off of Amazon.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Absolutely dope. How does it pour?

    source

    • tias@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’m more of a computer-science geek than a tea geek, so all I can say is that it pours without spilling. You won’t get a laminar flow out of it or anything like that.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • chfour@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    i need to get one of these someday hahaha

    source
• Isoprenoid@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Can someone explain this joke to me

  “I’m writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%”

  I understand everything apart from the “in a 0.02%”. What does that mean? How can something be in a percentage?

  source

  • obosob@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s a nonsensical statement to us programmers too.

    source
  • Sheik@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I think they meant « by ».

    source
  • peopleproblems@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s a double joke. For programmers, it’s pretty useless unless your in high performance computing.

    If you’re on the nitty gritty OS or CPU itself, 0.02% optimization can mean significant improvememt of different things but because it is otherwise unitless, it is equally useless to the reader.

    source

    • snowe@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      “In a .02%” is nonsensical. They meant “by”. So it’s just a fail, not a joke.

      source
• LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Socrates said books were dumbing down humanity because, since people could just look things up in books the didn’t have to memorise information anymore, and that made their brains soft.

  Ever since society began, some people have been convinced the next generation’s technology was going to be society’s downfall, whether it was Socrates’ books, the telegraph in the 1800s, radio, the (land line) telephone, dishwashers (women will become lazy and unsuitable wives and mothers), screened windows (society will collapse because you won’t hear your neighbours and pedestrians on the street, we’ll all become hermits and die holed up in our homes), comic books would rot the brains of the youth, then music, then video games… it goes on and on.

  So far, those predictions have never been true. Every golfer generation freaks out when the ones after come of age. It’s like societal growing pains.

  source

  • eldain@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I think this is one step further, that technology has become so abstract and complex that people who focus on different crafts and careers are using magical black boxes. It blows my mind how my neighbour goes through life without any concept of what a phone app is. He just uses functionality and memorized the associated logo. I’m an engineering wizard to him.

    source

    • LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Isn’t that true of pretty much everu technology, though? I remember in the late 70s there’d occasionally be a loud pop and a puff of smoke from the television, and I’d tag along with my dad to the tv shop to buy new vacuum tubes, then we’d remove the back of the television and do minor repairs. Everyone knew how to do that.

      My television today is a magic black box.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Some technologies actually have had unintended side effects, but not always the ones people worried about. Artificial lights are killing all the insects, cars do kill tons of people like they worried about in the 20s, and leaded gasoline was a mistake.

    All in all, it’s just really hard to anticipate how society and technology will interact. I don’t know if any progress at all has been made on the problem.

    screened windows (society will collapse because you won’t hear your neighbours and pedestrians on the street, we’ll all become hermits and die holed up in our homes)

    This one has actually come true to a certain measurable degree (see Bowling Alone, written at what is now the midpoint of the trend), but I don’t think it’s down to window screens.

    source

    • bermuda@beehaw.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Leaded gasoline has a really crazy story. People have known that lead is highly toxic since the mid 1800s, and when tetraethyl lead was invented by Thomas midgley Jr in the 1910s, pretty much everybody at GM knew how toxic it was. Dozens of workers died from exposure, and Thomas himself was sick with lead poisoning when it was unveiled to the public. GM even went as far as naming it “ethyl” to avoid public backlash.

      The reason it wasn’t banned until the 90s was because health officials in the 20s thought that exposure to drivers was so low that it wouldn’t reach toxic levels until decades down the line. Like, the 1970s. This wasn’t reviewed until the mid 70s and by that point the consequences were disastrous.There were some studies between the 20s and 70s, but most didn’t gain much traction. Many adults and children had increased levels of lead in their blood and lead has contaminated the groundwater and polluted the air. For instance, there is NO safe level of lead in blood, and Herbert needleman in the early 70s found some American schoolchildren had as much as 14 micrograms per deciliter This is the reason it wasn’t banned until the 90s in most countries. One could say we’re still recovering from that in some ways.

      And the worst part? They could have used ethanol, an organic substance that’s a major additive in alcoholic beverages. It also prevents engine knocking and is highly flammable, but otherwise not even close to as toxic as TEL was. You still woudlnt want to breathe it in, but it probably wouldn’t have polluted our air and ground so much. GM refused to use ethanol though because it couldn’t be patented (being naturally produced?) and it wouldn’t be very profitable to use it to prevent knocking. TEL was far more profitable.

      source

      • -> View More Comments
• tatterdemalion@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Was anyone else bored of this meme as soon as it started?

  source

  • snowbell@beehaw.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It is a difficult meme template but when done right the payoff is hilarious. But yeah.

    source
• 1024_Kibibytes@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Increasing the CPU optimization by 0.02% does seem crazy to me. If you’re going to spend time working on something, make it worthwhile. Also, isn’t while(true) {print(money)} Microsoft, Apple and Amazon:s business model?

  source

  • dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I mean if the CPU that’s running these instructions is super low power then 0.02 might be worth it

    source

    • Gork@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Or if you’re scaling a large cluster of CPUs for parallel computations where a 0.02% increase can make a tangible difference in runtimes.

      source
    • blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Only if you’d removed and fixed all other bottlenecks that would gain you more than 0.02%. And I’m not convinced there are many if any projects of any reasonable size where that has been the case.

      source
• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  while{true}{print (money);}

  moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney

  source

  • funkajunk@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney

    source

    • samson@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      ^D^C
      michael@server-prod-$

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • Ddhuud@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    As an Argentinian, I feel personally attacked by that statement.

    source
• dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I bet ATMs would have a while true print money function

  source

  • coloredgrayscale@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Almost:

    While (hasMoney())
    Print(money)
    
    

    source

    • odium@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      More like while hasMoney(){dispenseMoney()}

      source
• somegeek@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Math professorss be like:

  source
• spez@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I always wonder what the original post was? Something like “Stop doing science!” or some shit but seriously rather than sarcastically.

  source

  • d_k_bo@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    knowyourmeme.com/memes/stop-doing-math

    source

    • spez@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Ah ha! Thanks, I thought this spawned on some conspiracy facebook group

      source
    • threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Funnilly enough, helical apple slicers can easily produce the shape depicted in the bottom quote, making it a not unreasonable request.

      source
• CosmicCleric@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Isn’t that supposed to be “Write it on a paper”?

  source

  • communistcapy@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Nobody thought in doing

    source
• Ogeon@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  To make things worse, that teapot doesn’t have a bottom surface.

  source

  • Klaymore@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The floor is its bottom

    source
• festus@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I see you met my boss.

  Not actually the case, but I am frustrated with them right now for not understanding the value of preventative work and R&D (I’m a Data Scientist).

  source
• manapropos@lemmy.basedcount.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  This but unironically

  source

  • Narrrz@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    SAND WAS NOT DESIGNED FOR THINKING
    THIS IS NOT A NATURAL USE FOR ROCK DUST

    source

    • dudinax@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Pretty broad statement from a charcoal-brain.

      source
• m3t00@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  not real like birds

  source
• m3t00@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  watch shark tank for future presidents

  source
• nhriven@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Great idea mate

  source