dollah

Comments

• UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  A dollar in five million years

  Cause then I’ll be around that long

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  • thorhop@sopuli.xyz ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The genie granted his wish - and in a moment vanished. Elated he was, as he skipped off into the sunset.

    1000 years later.

    UnderpantsWeevil sat alone, in a dark metal box, suspended over lava, hanging by a long massive chain, circa 30km underground. How so?

    He had been observed by various nation state actors over time, some who tried to kill him - many times, without success.

    Everything was painstakingly documented by increasingly maddened agents, who poured over the various failed scenarios in utter amazement.

    Run over by a truck? 7 times attempted. Gased to death in his bead? 4 attempts. Fatal stabbing? Proven not effective. “Accidental beheading”? 12 near misses.

    in total 73 supposedly fatal wounds to the body, according to the medical sciences, all of which failed. No one could bring an end to UnderpantsWeevil.

    After many captures (and several escapes) he finally landed in the hands of a North American despot known as Julius Trump the 4th - a supposed heir to the great emperor god.

    This mad god king in a fallout empire decided to create a secret super-prison - because no one should be able to outlast the god king himself.

    UnderpantsWeevil sat completely still in this oxygen depleted place, not a muscle stirring. Only the thought that it had been a scant 1000 years…

    Good night, everybody!

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    • My_IFAKs___gone@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Corrosion to the rescue! Don’t worry UnderpantsWeevil, Entropy, the one and every thing to which you are immune, will provide eventual salvation.

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    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      /r/writingprompts strikes again

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  • phonics@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Also the value of a dollar is going to be so high in 5 million years due to inflation.

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    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Are you kidding? Can you imagine what a piece of human artifice from 5 million years ago would be worth to the right collector?

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  • CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Umm, you looked around lately? You want 5 million years of this shit?

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    • EyIchFragDochNur@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      They gonna be alone relatively soon

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    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’m going to take a line from Hob Gadling

      Look, I’ve seen death. I lost half my village to the Black Death. I fought under Buckingham in Burgundy. It’s not like I don’t know what death is. Death is… stupid.

      Nobody has to die. The only reason people die is… is 'cause everyone does it. You all just go along with it. But not me. I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going to die.

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    • hOrni@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah. We’ve got around 30 till the world ends, so what after that?

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  • hOrni@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That was my first thought too. But I haven’t really enjoyed the last 30 so I’m not sure if I’d like to hang out that long.

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• RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Imagine five million years of interest though. That dollar could actually turn into as much as $1.01

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• joyjoy@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Would you rather have 3 kids and no money or no kids and 3 money?

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  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    world economy stuck at no kids and no money.

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• ashenone@lemmy.ml ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Real hustlers know how to take that one dollar in five million years and turn it into two dollars in ten million years

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• sundray@lemmus.org ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Billionaires: “Give a poor person a WHOLE DOLLAR? Intolerable! Elect more fascists immediately!”

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• SoupBrick@pawb.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I would rather get u for a dollar in 5 million years ❤️

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• AlexCory21@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I mean… With inflation, that dollar in 5 million years might actually be worth more than 5 million dollars haha! /jk

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  • IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    after 5 million years, with 3% annual interest. you’ll have 10^65060. we have no words to describe that wealth. you could spend a trillion usd on each subatomic particule in the universe and barely affect your wealth

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    • aeiou@piefed.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      but what if you adjust for 5 million years of inflation?

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• Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Double it and give it to the next person.

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• lugal@sopuli.xyz ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I was never good at the marshmallow test so I’ll take the money now and regret the decision for the rest of my life

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• TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Just give me 15k lmao

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