Being a 22-year-old virgin or being 22 and never having been in a relationship is something to be shameful about.

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Grimreaper@sopuli.xyz⁩ to ⁨showerthoughts@lemmy.world⁩

I see a lot of people saying it’s “okay” to be a virgin at 22, or if you’re 22 and have never been in a relationship, it’s “okay.” But it really isn’t. Most people lose their virginity when they’re teens, and most people get into their first relationships in high school. So if there’s a 22-year-old out there who’s still single, never been in a relationship, and is a virgin, they’re an outlier. They’re an anomaly, and it is something to feel bad and shameful about. It’s like never getting your driver’s license until you’re 21 or something. But it’s okay to feel bad and shameful—this can motivate you to make better decisions in life.

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Ksij82@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
No dude you are misinformed

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psx_crab@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
It’s okay to be virgin at 25 dude, but writing this sort of thing will 100% not getting you any fuck.

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- Grimreaper@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  It’s okay to be virgin at 25 dude
  
  No, it isn’t. Like I said, most people love their virginity before that age. If you are a 25-year-old man who’s a virgin, no woman who’s 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 or 31 years old will want to date you because they don’t want to date a virgin, and that goes for most adult men and women who have sexual experience.
  
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  - psx_crab@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    It sounds like a projection but okay 🤷
    
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Grenfur@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Didn’t get my DL until I was 18. Didn’t have sex until I was 22. Best friend was a virgin when he got married at 30. Everyone is different. Everyone’s experience is different. You shouldn’t feel bad. Just do you.

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itkovian@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I am a 35-year old virgin. And I am probably going to die lonely and virgin. I did ask to be brought up as a mentally fucked up dude, who is so scared of rejection that it is much better to not try at all.

Your ‘shower thought’ lacks basic empathy and understanding about people. But, then again, most people do.

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- Ethanol@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Just want to cheer you up a bit. You don’t need a relationship to be happy. I hate that people think like that nowadays but everyone should be allowed to be happy being single. But also, if you do seek a relationship it might still happen eventually. You got this :)
  
  Also: OP sure is an ass lol. The original post is pretty stupid. Maybe just rage bait.
  
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Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Why are you so concerned with who fucks whom? you’re saying that shame could be a good motivator for someone to fuck someone they otherwise wouldn’t. Touch grass.

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moseschrute@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
If you’re <= 22 and writing this, are you ok?

If you’re > 22 and writing this, everyone is on their own journey. They may just prefer being single, and that’s totally ok. They may also not respond to negative comments. Instead, they might need someone to encourage their confidence.

Sincerely, someone who met their partner at age 23 :)

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- JasonDJ@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  If you’re >22 and you’re wasting brain-cycles on what age people are losing their virginity at, perhaps you need a bit of introspection.
  
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- Grenfur@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  As a side note to this I didn’t meet me partner until I was 26. And honestly I’m glad. Enjoy your life. Its hard to see that from the other side but its fine but you should be ready to settle down before you do.
  
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  - moseschrute@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Also the idea that meeting your partner is this single point in time you have to hit by 22 is rediculous. Relationships are a journey. Even if you met you’re partner at 22, chances are by 33 you will have grown as people. I think it’s more of an escelator you hop on at any age, if you desire a romantic relationship.
    
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  - Grimreaper@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Like I said, most people love their virginity before that age. If you are a 25-year-old man who’s a virgin, no woman who’s 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 or 31 years old will want to date you because they don’t want to date a virgin, and that goes for most adult men and women who have sexual experience.
    
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Witchfire@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I didn’t have a partner nor sex til I was 30. Both have changed by now, but turns out I’m just asexual and uninterested shrug

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railway692@piefed.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I’m blocking you.

You should’ve been moderated already, for spamming the comm with stuff that has to be against Rule 1 (All posts must be shower thoughts).

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- Admetus@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  This post was just a negative, discriminatory opinion. This kid needs a temporary ban at least.
  
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- Bags@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I don’t usually pay attention to usernames, but I just laughed out loud when I checked their post history.
  Very rarely do I see a truly shit take on here, but most of the recent posts I remember being real stinkers are all from this same user.
  
  Also the recent obsession with age is very strange.
  
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Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I guess I should be very ashamed of myself then. I got my license at 21. I’m now 22 and still a virgin. I’ve known for a long time that I move slower than others and I really don’t care. Like genuinely why do some people think having sex at a young age is like the most important thing ever?? Like why do you even care?

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- captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  At 31, would I be happy to learn a potential partner my age is a Virgin? No. Would I be put off with a “I took my time and wasn’t prioritizing it over other things that mattered”? Also no.
  
  The real turn off is a virgin who’s pissed about it, bitter about it, or well into adulthood and very focused on it. I’m not even saying nobody wants those people but as someone who’s been around the block a few times, is happily married and practices casual nonmonogamy I see people like that the same as I see people feeling similar ways about their other reasons for not getting laid.
  
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  - Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Dawg, I’m autistic and I’ve read it like 10 times and I still don’t understand what the bottom part means. Like if it’s meant for me it doesn’t make sense and it would make sense applied to OP but then why is it not a reply to OP?
    
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Lumidaub@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

It’s like never getting your driver’s license until you’re 21 or something.

Good news: I’m 42 and I don’t have a driver’s license - and I haven’t died from it.

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- FancyPantsFIRE@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  and I haven’t died from it.
  
  Yet.
  
  Results inconclusive.
  
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  - Lumidaub@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I’ll make sure to keep you updated.
    
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- Glytch@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  If you’re in a walkable city or one with decent public transit why would you need one?
  
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  - Lumidaub@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Exactly.
    
    (I also don’t think I should be allowed to commandeer anything with more than two wheels around other people)
    
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Glytch@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Life isn’t a race, my guy. How quickly you reach external milestones (like a driver’s license or losing your virginity) is way less important than acquiring emotional intelligence and maturity. Those are the qualities that are actually valued in healthy adult relationships. Feeling ashamed for not having a relationship by a certain age is self defeating and can lead you into unhealthy thoughts patterns which can easily turn into becoming a victim of bad actors.

My question for you is how did you come to this conclusion? 22 is a pretty specific (and honestly young) age to throw out there randomly; are you 22 and angsting about not having a relationship? If so that’s valid, but you need cut yourself some slack and also not try to transfer your own shame onto others. You just have some growing up to do, start by loving yourself (not like that), and accepting yourself for who you are. If you can’t love you why would you expect anyone else to?

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pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Do better

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Greg@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I think your shower is too hot there bud

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turbowafflz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Why specifically 22? Is this about a specific person?

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- MaggiWuerze@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  No, no… Its just his… Friend, yeah
  
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MaggiWuerze@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Lol, get fucked. As if there was any obligation to have sex in your teens, tweens or at all. And using the most asinine comparison, a drivers license, really highlights what kinda person you are.

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essell@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

They’re an anomaly, and it is something to feel bad and shameful about.

Do you have any evidence, at all, that links these two points?

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pH3ra@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
The reason I didn’t enjoy sex in my teens/20s as much as I do in my 30s was mainly because of the social pressure about it that made me anxious all the time.
So screw this mentality for spoiling my early experiences.

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gigachad@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
You should watch less movies

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queermunist@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I was too dysphoric as a teenager to even think about being naked around another person.

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Solumbran@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Lol, at 22 your body is not even finished, let alone your mind, but you think it’s mandatory to have sex?

And sex early is a better “decision”?

And being different is something to feel bad about and that is worth shame?

What the heck are you on dude, there is not a single angle at which this reasoning would even remotely make sense.

Don’t write this out of the weird 4chanish incel hellhole you found that cra.

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sunzu2@thebrainbin.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Wrong place for this sort of post. Should hit unpopular opinions to farm the upvotes

People can do as they please. Lack of experience from not dating will adversely affect their marriages and overall social abilities.

People bitching about being lonely but don't bother to develop social skills to get SO or friends. With that being said, it definitely ain't as natural it used to be prior to the damn spy devices.

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Contramuffin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
You are fundamentally wrong. Look at any high schooler and try telling me with a straight face that they get pussy.

It takes all their energy to not be completely consumed by TikTok brainrot, do you really think they have the social competence to be able to maintain a serious relationship for long enough that they have sex?

I can tell you with absolute certainly that at max 2 people in my entire high school cohort actually lost their virginity in high school

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Darkcoffee@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Image

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- aubeynarf@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  do you mean “psych” like we said in the 80s/90s?
  
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  - cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    That’s exactly what they mean, they just don’t know how to spell it. The person who made the meme, and, judging by the reply you got, the person who posted it.
    
    “Sike” is the phoenetic spelling of “psych.” That is to say, it’s pronounced the same. That is to say, they didn’t know how to spell it, so they sounded it out. And that spelling caught on. It’s not just this one guy, a lot of people can’t spell “psych” or can’t be arsed to learn.
    
    I’m just wondering how they spell “psychologist.” I think they just say “doctor” or “shrink.” I’ve never seen anything like “sikologist.”
    
    For anyone wondering, yes, psych is the word — it was short for “I psyched you out.” Like “I made you think you were gonna get something or that I believed something, but no, I fooled you. Psych!” Psych out.
    
    And now that I type it out, it looks weird… but that’s the word, and it’s an actual word, and we were using it correctly. The people who couldn’t spell it (or couldn’t be arsed) were also using it correctly, they just embarrassed themselves a bit (most people don’t care) when they wrote it out or typed it out.
    
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  - Darkcoffee@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I do as the meme tells me too. It’s what was in vogue a decade ago, saying “sike”. Even had a spongebob meme same as this one.
    
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cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I reject your notion that it’s shameful to be an outlier.

On a completely different topic, everyone is going nuts for the new Taylor Swift album. The Weather Channel even reviewed it. The fucking weather channel. Oh, you think I’m kidding? I would too. Here, look: weather.com/…/2025-10-06-taylor-swift-life-of-a-s…

Anyway, while I do plan on listening to the Taylor Swift album (I subscribe to Apple Music, so it will cost me nothing extra but ~41 minutes of my time), I’m way more excited about the ReoNa album, “Heart,” dropping today. Or because Japan is like 12 hours ahead of us, it’s probably already out. She’s my second favourite singer right now, behind Enya, who is fairly popular, at least as far as New Age-adjacent performers go (it’s a label she does not agree with, but that’s how people know her), but still seems to be an outlier. She does not do concerts. She hasn’t done an album in 10 years. She literally lives in a castle with modern security systems with her cats. She doesn’t date (has before, doesn’t care for it) and has no children. She’s most likely aroace, though music is her romance, it’s kind of weird saying she may be aromantic. But toward people, definitely. She has a few close friends and some family but no romantic connections to speak of. And she makes music that makes you feel like it’s straight from Heaven. Even if you’re not religious. It sounds straight up otherworldly.

I have no shame in being an outlier, and it’s not just music. Maybe OP thinks everyone should be the same. I’ve never had much interest in that.

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JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
So your measure of a person’s worth is based on how many people they fuck before a certain age? I’m sure there’s a word for that sort of thing…

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betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
You should take fewer showers.

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captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I began my first relationship around 21. I was a bit of a late bloomer. I also was happily married before turning 30. There’s no shame in being a little late, but it may be a sign of something you need to work on. Git gud as it were.

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JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Lol. I’m not on WhatsApp either, in spite of everyone else. I must be a slow developer.

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Prime@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
It’s not shameful. It can, however, be a strong sign that you don’t have your life under control, wether for reason you control or not.

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PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Actually it’s fine. This was me until I finally met the person who I decided I felt comfortable being intimate with.

I was raised religious but by that time I wasn’t, but that shame and guilt are still legit.

Anyway, it’s been decades since and we’re still together. I have no regrets.

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