[deleted]

Comments

• sprite0@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Image

  they are listening

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• vane@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Animals know.

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• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You think I don’t notice??? I say outloud “I WANT TO BUY CATFOOD!!!” and then suddenly later that week, by pure coincidence, at the supermarket, there just “happens” to be a whole isle of various pet foods??? Yeah. I think not! That whole scheme is just an alien scheme to get me to adopt that french cat who follows me around town speaking french all day! I tried telling him! MR CAT! I DON’T SPEAK YOUR FRENCH LANGUAGE!!! YOU NEED TO BEFRIEND A TRANSLATOR TO TALK TO ME!!! NO HABLAH ESPENOL!!!"

  But there he is. Every day, just trying to talk to me like “J’ai un chat dans mon pantalon”.

  And you’re trying to tell me this cat is just a natural wild animal? This is the work of aliens for sure! Otherwise this cat would walk to Quebec Canada where they tolerate that kind of frenchness.

  What? You think cats give a shit about our borders, and passports??? Bitch, have you met a cat???

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  • throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Easy way to verify if your phone is spying on you:

    wispers “Hey, Let’s kill [Name of the leader of your country]”

    If you hear police sirens, congrats, your phone cheated on you! Now you know…

    💀💥🔫👮‍♂️ gunshots echoing in the distance…

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• NONE_dc@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Of course they do! Where do you think birds come from? Or do you really think they are real?

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  • throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Birds are just Jabberjays

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• the_q@lemmy.zip ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Baby, tech companies are doing all that right now.

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  • FenrirIII@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Except we’ve given them blanket permission

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• jackeroni@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I should start an OnlyGalaxy account

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• ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yes they do … it’s called Pornhub

  Turns out that aliens had it easy from the very start … whenever they needed info or intel on human beings, human lives, even human samples … all they had to do was to entice them with sex or kinks or some sort of weird fetish or something

  All the aliens had to do was do a couple of anal probs, and that would automatically give them access to several hundred or thousands of humans that automatically became interested in this specific fetish and would just come looking for the aliens without even having to be asked or coerced.

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• Sergio@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I kinda like this variation on the theme:

  They clenched around the world like a fist, each black as the inside of an event horizon until those last bright moments when they all burned together. They screamed as they died. Every radio up to geostat groaned in unison, every infrared telescope went briefly snowblind. Ashes stained the sky for weeks afterwards; mesospheric clouds, high above the jet stream, turned to glowing rust with every sunrise. The objects, apparently, consisted largely of iron. Nobody ever knew what to make of that.

  For perhaps the first time in history, the world knew before being told: if you’d seen the sky, you had the scoop. The usual arbiters of newsworthiness, stripped of their accustomed role in filtering reality, had to be content with merely labeling it. It took them ninety minutes to agree on Fireflies. A half hour after that, the first Fourier transforms appeared in the noosphere; to no one’s great surprise, the Fireflies had not wasted their dying breaths on static. There was pattern embedded in that terminal chorus, some cryptic intelligence that resisted all earthly analysis. The experts, rigorously empirical, refused to speculate: they only admitted that the Fireflies had said something. They didn’t know what.

  Everyone else did. How else would you explain 65,536 probes evenly dispersed along a lat-long grid that barely left any square meter of planetary surface unexposed? Obviously the Flies had taken our picture. The whole world had been caught with its pants down in panoramic composite freeze-frame. We’d been surveyed—whether as a prelude to formal introductions or outright invasion was anyone’s guess.

  www.rifters.com/real/Blindsight.htm

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• cattywampas@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoo_hypothesis

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  • TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Or maybe aliens just don’t care. We may not be that special.

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• FriendOfDeSoto@startrek.website ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yes, we are. Please stop masturbating. Thanks.

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  • dumbass@quokk.au ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I'll stop jacking it if you stop watching me, untill then imma be out there doing it San Diego style.

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  • ogmios@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    You. Tonight.

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  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    No.

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  • FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Please stop masturbating

    Abso-fucking-lutely not

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  • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Image

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    • ToastedRavioli@midwest.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      This Post Has Been Deleted

      Well I’ll be darned

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Come down here and prove my anus, then, you gray cowards!

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    • Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      all we’vve learned in 50 years is that 1 in 10 doesn’t really seem to mind.

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    • nokturne213@sopuli.xyz ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Image

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  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I mean, you can keep doing it if you want to, some of uh, them, might not mind it so much.

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    • Pirky@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Exactly. If humans can have an extremely diverse range of kinks and fetishes, just imagine the kinds that advanced civilizations might have.

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