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I'd choose 4 tbh

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Submitted ⁨⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/a3a28824-4ce3-463d-8989-e7b7162cdb12.jpeg

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Comments

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  • moonlight6205@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    5,6,9

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  • Disorder6069@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    2, 6, 9

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  • jsomae@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’d pick 9, 9, 9

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  • BMW_stick@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    5, 6 & 9

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    • Nalivai@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      The only way

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  • iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    1. Just 9.
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  • TheDoozer@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    2 (as long as that means I can’t go past my current weight, not that every time I poop, sweat, or pee I lose weight I can never regain) 5… and I guess 9. I’m doing okay, and I’ve never had a strong need for “a lot of money.”

    5 isn’t even because I want to have super strength, it’s more to be able to compensate for my jacked up joints and being overweight.

    I would trade any of the three of these for “cure my sleep apnea” though.

    1 sounds tempting, as long as it’s just the insulation, you know? I don’t know a whole lot about biology, but I feel like if you immediately removed all fats from your body, your cells would just die (all the lipids disappearing). But if you could remove all the fat listed in the “body fat percentage” and made it so I could still get some fats quickly (for a healthy amount), I’d take that over 2. Once it’s there, it makes it so hard to get rid of, but I feel like if it was gone in one go, I could keep it off.

    Wow, my decisions for “magic pills” would be kind of depressing to 20-year-old me. At least with the exception of my health I’m reasonably content.

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  • samus12345@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I only want 5 and 9.

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  • Zahtu@feddit.org ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Easy: 3x Pill No. 9 please.

    One for me, and the other two i will use to either: a) give to Close Friends and/or Family B) a complete Stranger from the streets C) keep in storage for my Offspring when they are in a Pinch of losing the family wealth that i built

    No one says you gonna take the pills you Pick. Certainly that way you could also Take 2x No. 1 for your worst enemies (or CEOs)

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  • HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    2, 6 and 9.

    9 would go towards building affordable housing in my area, which would make 6 happen.

    2 just 'cause.

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    • Atomic@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      #2 is straight up torture. No matter how much you eat, you cannot stop losing weight. Your body no longer retains nutrients as it passes right through you

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      • samus12345@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Depends on if the descriptions are jackass genie rules or not. If it’s being genuine, it means you won’t gain any excess weight beyond what’s healthy. 1 and 3 seem like descriptions ripe for abuse as well.

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      • TheDoozer@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        It says you can’t gain weight. I’m already overweight, and about max for what I can be to keep my job (military) and not totally break down. So if “can’t gain weight” means this is my max weight and no matter what I do I can’t go past it, that makes a comfortable hard stop for future efforts toward dieting.

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    • kiagam@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You loved one dies, you feel happy. You are in logical despair but can’t feel it.

      I’ll pass

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      • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        You can be happy and sad at the same time. It doesn’t say you can’t be sad.

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      • HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        8 is the ex dying. I didn’t choose that number.

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    • oplkill@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      2 is slow death. Body always losing weight and you will no longer get it

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  • andros_rex@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Isn’t 8 that Jim Carry movie?

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    • JcbAzPx@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

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    • AfroMustache@lemmynsfw.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Mfw when I watched it with my ex lmao

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      • andros_rex@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        The last movie me and my ex watched was Synecdoche, NY which basically gave him permission to toss me out like an old newspaper, since he read the message of that film as “other people are interchangeable background characters in your life.”

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  • robocall@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Everyone’s going to pick 9, right?

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    • Atomic@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You are now a proud citizen of Zimbabwe, you own trillions of useless bills.

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      • Amir@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Still better than none

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  • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I think some of these need clarification 😅

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  • Caitlyynn@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    None please

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  • TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    1. is just MDMA
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  • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That calls for a monkey’s paw

    1. There’s literally no more fat in your body. Your cells burst, you die immediately.
    2. You’re not able to gain weight, but you still lose it. Every time you sweat, breathe out, go to the restroom - you lose weight. In a matter of month or two, you die from exhaustion.
    3. Now you can’t buy groceries and really anything you want or need and are forever reliant on others to provide you with anything you didn’t yourself produce.
    4. The height increase is achieved by all your organs instantly extending, causing internal injuries and disabilities and now many physical stresses can kill you.
    5. You’re so strong you cannot adequately measure it, and have to be very careful not to break everything around you.
    6. You’re always happy. You’re never able to grieve, or reflect, or do anything. You’ve lost any reason to progress, or even really sustain yourself. You die in bliss on the streets.
    7. Followers are invading all of your personal life. They doxx you, follow you everywhere, try to document every moment of your existence. You cannot have peace and solitude ever again.
    8. You forgot your ex. You also forgot every good moment in your life you ever had together, and are left wondering what is that void in your brain. You will never know what happened. But someone, somewhere out there who is your ex will.
    9. Inflation came strong, and now everyone has millions upon millions of dollars. Too bad they’re only worth a few rolls of toilet paper.
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    • JcbAzPx@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      There are people who cannot grow or simply don’t have any fat cells. It’s a surprisingly debilitating condition, but you don’t immediately die from it.

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      • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Fats are a normal component of any cell membrane, and if we’re talking no fats whatsoever, there would be no membrane to speak of.

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    • Kuma@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      This is what I thought too when I read them, the last one (money) was the only one I didn’t see any problems with. It made me think about the post about picking a superpower and the first comment was your side effect for using it but this was the other way around, pick your side effect haha

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    • Enzy@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Oh definitely 1 then

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  • onion_trial@europe.pub ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    [deleted]
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    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      1 would kill you pretty quickly. You physically need to be able to store fat from food.

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      • onion_trial@europe.pub ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
        [deleted]
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      • frezik@midwest.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        It’s also water store. You dehydrate very quickly without constantly drinking Gatorade.

        Hard to find now, but I’ve seen pictures of what people look like at extremely low (<4%) body fat. Every little detail in the muscle pops right out. It doesn’t look attractive or healthy in any way.

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  • Alloi@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    if i chose six, i wouldnt need any of the others.

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  • wildcardology@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    2,5 & 9. Plus money always makes m happy so I get 6 for free.

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  • Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    2, 5, and 9 for me

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  • lud@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I choose 4 and 9. I really have no interest in any of the others.

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  • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    After 9 you can just buy all the others

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  • dutchkimble@lemy.lol ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    69!

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  • laranis@lemmy.zip ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    #4 three times. The rest seem fleeting (money) or attainable through hard work (strength). Unlike others in these comments, I think being happy constantly would be its own type of hell.

    But being tall is like being attractive. It is life on easy mode. As a slightly-less-than-average-height person an extra 6 inches would probably be the most permanent, positive impact any of these would have.

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  • double_quack@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I would take 5 as “emotional/mentally”

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    • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      My issue with 6 is that it feels like a monkey paw. There are times we shouldn’t be happy, like tragedies happening to others, deaths ,etc. While being overall happy in life sounds great, always happy sounds like a cognitive issue.

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      • EtherWhack@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        To me it it gives a cliché lobotomy vibe

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      • moopet@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        You could do that with any of them. Super strong? Crushes friends when trying to hug them, etc.

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  • DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    9,9,6 with lots of money causes sadness

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  • rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    9 thrice

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  • isekaihero@ani.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    2, 5, 9

    I would be so happy.

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  • MTK@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Noy choosing 5 and 6 is plain stupid. While always being happy probably means some social issues, these can be mitigated by learning to fake sadness. And super strength is obviously super useful.

    I’m assuming this isn’t a genie moment where super strength means you destroy everything because you don’t control it or whatever.

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  • ViperActual@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    4, 5, 9.

    4 because while the process might be painful, aside from the process it’s not an extreme change. And because I needed to pick 3 and only 3 options.

    5 because that super strength would certainly come in handy if it’s controllable. It would suck if everything gets absolutely crushed by accident the moment you attempt to interact with it.

    9 because why the hell not. You can’t be happy all the time, and the rest of the options seem to be a net negative. So at least being able to live comfortably or account for #5 would be okay

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  • AA5B@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    2, 6, 9. Health, happiness, comfortable life.

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