Sometimes the advice "just be yourself" is bad advice.

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨showerthoughts@lemmy.world⁩

If you’re a terrible petson, maybe don’t follow that advice. For example, if you find yourself seig hailing, ever, maybe try being someone better.

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possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Neurodivergent people feel this

“Just be yourself” is not socially acceptable.

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- JasonDJ@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  Some people dislike musicals because they are unrealistic…nobody they know just bursts into song and dance all the time.
  
  I think those people need to find new friends.
  
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- Opinionhaver@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  Eh… If I need to pretend to be something I’m not just to be “accepted” then I’ll rather not be. In most cases when people are changing their behavior to meet the expectations of others it’s actually their own imagined expectations they’re trying to meet than that of other people. As long as you’re not causing harm to anyone, most simply don’t care if you’re a bit weird.
  
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cRazi_man@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
“Be yourself” is the most pointless thing to say to anyone. It doesn’t help the recipient at all. Same for *be a better person". You could say “be genuine” and that would be slightly more helpful.

From my background in education: under-performers tend to be poor judges of their position, tend to have no idea what good performance looks like or how to get there, and tend to surround themselves with similar under-performers. So someone who is underperforming in a social role (making friends, work place fitting in, dating, etc) needs a lot more focused and good quality feedback.

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- JasonDJ@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  It’s because it’s incomplete advice.
  
  It shouldn’t just be “Be Yourself”
  
  It’s missing two important words, in the middle.
  
  Be ^(confident in) yourself.
  
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- possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  It works fine for people who are Neurotypical. However, chances are you don’t need to give social advise to a neurotypical person.
  
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  - cRazi_man@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
    
    you don’t need to give social advise to a neurotypical person
    
    Supremely disagree.
    
    Here’s a podcast episode I’ve heardtodayto illustrate the example of just how bad most “neurotypical” can be with simple social social interactions:
    
    Hidden Brain: We Need to Talk
    
    Episode webpage: hiddenbrain.org/podcast/we-need-to-talk/
    
    Media file: dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/…/default.mp3?aid=rs…
    
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j4k3@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Be the best version of yourself. We are all a product of our environment and opportunities. We are all animals. We are all evil under certain circumstances. All any of us can do is be the best version of ourselves.

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- Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  I’ve settled for a mediocre version of myself. Much better ROI.
  
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  - monkeyman512@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
    Sounds like your just optimizing for efficiency over peak performance. That a form of “best self”.
    
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NONE_dc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Nah, i rather be with an honest piece of shit than someone how “pretends” to be a good person.

“Be yourself”, so i can judge if i want to be with you or not.

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- possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  People are highly judgmental and will reject people who are different. It isn’t something you can control since it happens at a subconscious layer.
  
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  - NONE_dc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
    Agree
    
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- M137@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  The advice is/can be used in a ton of different situations, you seem to only think it’s for a very narrow and small part of those. And even then, it’s not always the best thing, someone can be themselves 99.99% of the time but sometimes it’s better to hold it back. Even something as simple as if they’re meeting your parents for the first time and you know there will be problems if you don’t tell them to not mention something, act like they think differently about something etc.
  
  This very much isn’t just about a possible partner for you and all the time. I don’t understand how you thought that was the only thing. It’s like if someone said a common feature of cars might not be worth keeping on all the time and you read that as only a specific line of Volvo cars, in very specific situations and like you can’t turn it on and off. See how weird and dumb that is?
  
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  - NONE_dc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
    Pal, the only one thinking about “partners” here is you. I was referinng to human interaction as a whole, friends, coworkers, family, etc. “Be yourself” is and advice to seek your place among other that likes how you are, whether you’re a piece of shit or a saint.
    
    Although, I’ll grant you that there are instance where is good to “not be yourself”, like if you’re a Queer folk in a conservative environment.
    
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- bitcrafter@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  
  Nah, i rather be with an honest piece of shit than someone how “pretends” to be a good person.
  
  On the other hand, someone who “pretends” to be a good person all of the time is essentially indistinguishable from an actual good person.
  
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  - NONE_dc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
    If you pretends “all the time” then i don’t think you’re pretending.
    
    Is like those people with Imposter syndrome who “pretend” to be capable by being actually capable.
    
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Greg@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Focus on the wisdom instead of the semantics

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sbv@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
This is good advice. Ignore your reptilian hind brain and act like the person you want to be.

Yeah, sometimes you’ll need to stop and think about your options before making a decision, but you’ll be better for it.

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- possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  pretends to be a cow
  
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abbadon420@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
I know a guy who started seig heiling all tesla drivers that he saw in the streets. I think there’s something poetic about that.

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peregrin5@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
The old adage that all life is valuable and beautiful is a lie. Some people really should unalive themselves.

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LovableSidekick@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
To an introvert it’s almost ALWAYS bad advice. Sitting in the corner doing something by yourself is not a winning social behavior.

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griff@lemmings.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
[deleted]
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- Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  …why is the modern age full of new words that didn’t exist 20 years ago? I’m afraid to ask what it is…
  
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  - Opinionhaver@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
    I tried looking it up but only found TikTok links, so whatever it means shall remain a mystery. Suffice it to say, though, that the term is probably about 14 hours old.
    
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