no python? how are normie programmers like me supposed to relate to this?
Need a rust version too.
Submitted 11 months ago by MaliciousKebab@sh.itjust.works to programmer_humor@programming.dev
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/fb8035e0-e7fb-43c1-aa6c-a625f8aaf983.jpeg
Comments
stebo02@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
troyunrau@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
You have python. You import antigravity. The princess flies off into space. You monkey patch the princess so she has wings.
stebo02@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
And this is how I learned about the antigravity module. Pretty cool!
aniki@lemm.ee 11 months ago
The artist is still waiting for the python cells to render.
scratchresistor@thelemmy.club 11 months ago
Rescuing is only I/O bounded; your argument is irrelevant.
CodeMonkey@programming.dev 11 months ago
Python: You send someone else to rescue the princess on your behalf. That someone else is the C knight.
scratchresistor@thelemmy.club 11 months ago
Only if you have to rescue many princesses in a short period of time
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 11 months ago
import army
CanadaPlus@futurology.today 11 months ago
Which is a library written in C, of course.
psud@aussie.zone 11 months ago
No perl either. Much like python you find a relevant library (in cpan), but unlike python there will be seven different implementations, and any four perl devs will come up with at least ten solutions, nine of which will successfully rescue the princess
evranch@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Everything will seem to be be going great, but to actually gain access to the castle you’ll have to compare your situation to successful rescues to find the undocumented drawbridge control
scratchresistor@thelemmy.club 11 months ago
Python:
from Rescues import Princess Princess.rescue()
bob_lemon@feddit.de 11 months ago
map(lambda princess: princess.rescue(), [castle.get_princess() for castle in castles])scratchresistor@thelemmy.club 11 months ago
Don’t forget to keep your return values…
rescued_princesses = [{“princess”: princess, “rescued”: princess.rescue()} for princess in [castle.get_princess() for castle in castles]]
CmdrKeen@lemmy.today 11 months ago
from Castle import PrincessDone
smeg@feddit.uk 11 months ago
Here is the original comic, it’s got the word fuck in it! Direct link to higher-quality image.
PixxlMan@lemmy.world 11 months ago
NOOOOOOO NOT THE FUCK W*RD!
killeronthecorner@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I can’t fucking believe you’ve done this
shotgun_crab@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Now I can’t let my cats see this comic :(
MaliciousKebab@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Changed the image link, thanks.
LillyPip@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
You seem very excited so now I have to check it out.
killeronthecorner@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Swift: Apple releases a new version of the castle and deprecates the princess before you finish your implementation
turing_spider574@lemm.ee 11 months ago
the author did another comic with swift and it’s pretty much what you said lol
fossilesque@mander.xyz 11 months ago
The Python one should have been an environment joke.
moomoomoo309@programming.dev 11 months ago
I love the Lua one because it’s so true, LuaJIT is magic and Mike Pall is the only one who understands it as its creator.
ilinamorato@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You have Rust. (the knight in this panel looks very cool, wears sunglasses, and probably has a ponytail)
You’ve been told how easy it is to rescue the princess. Absolutely nothing will get in your way, they say; nobody can possibly get access to your plan, and you can even rescue multiple princesses simultaneously! (in this panel, the knight is imagining rescuing three princesses from three different castles at the same time)
You start working on your plan. It’s elegant and beautiful. You write articles on Medium to tell other knights how to rescue their princess. You tell everyone who will listen about your plan. You become a Rust zealot. You never rescue the princess. (In this panel, the knight is nowhere to be seen, and the princess looks bored in her tower. The knight is across the field, at a festival with the banner “RUSTCONF” flying overhead)
lseif@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
yeah but memory safety tho
WaterWaiver@aussie.zone 11 months ago
Yeah not one mention of “I’ll never forget you Princess”
EnderMB@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Always good to see Jon Skeet get some love. I’d love to know in terms of quantity just how many people he’s helped over the last decade or so.
magic_lobster_party@kbin.social 11 months ago
He has used this comic as his profile pic on Twitter and StackOverflow for quite a while.
Daxtron2@startrek.website 11 months ago
Literally every time I’ve ever posted a question on SO that’s related to .NET, Skeet comes to my rescue.
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
I just wonder how many he would have saved if he didn’t write the language in the first place
revlayle@lemm.ee 11 months ago
wat
Skeet did not write or create c#
thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world 11 months ago
if we count the number of people who have used products with code helped by him; we’re probably around 50% of all humanity by now. at least…
agent_flounder@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Omg Lisp. I’m dying. Our object oriented programming class in college involved programming in Scheme. This was… a while ago.
Saving this forever.
Lawyerator@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Yup, Scheme was the only programming language taught in our comp-sci department so we could “learn how to learn.” Two years and a broken parentheses button later, and I switched to being a theatre major.
Today, my legal career stands as a testament to the pointlessness of a declared major.
lastunusedusername2@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I did the same thing in Scheme. It was mine expanding.
Aceticon@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You use Assembly.
You describe each and every leg movement and each and every step to the castle and over the castle bridge and inside the castle.
You somehow end up in the castle kitchen.
sunbeam60@lemmy.one 11 months ago
Or more precisely. You end up in a dark room. You’re not sure it’s ok the castle.
nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
And the only way back is by counting every step you took on the way in, and if you miss one, the castle buries you.
felbane@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Rust: You declare the castle type as unsafe and then search for a crate with a
rescue_princessfunction. You discover the princess you rescued is a femboy wolfkin named Pawws. You now have pubic lice.akash_rawal@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Rust: You get a horse and arrive at the castle within seconds but the horse is too old and doesn’t work with the castle. You remove the horse, destructure the castle and rescue the princess within seconds, but now you have no horse. While you’re finding a compatible horse and thinking whether you should write your own horse, Bowser recaptures the princess and moves her to another castle.
nailbar@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
PHP 8 makes it finally possible to rescue the princess, but you accidentally princess the rescue instead.
ISMETA@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
PHP 8 makes it possible to rescue the princess but your 83 legacy princesses are all still PHP 5.
nailbar@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
I did not want to be reminded of that today 😡
kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world 11 months ago
So let me summarise this:
Only C and Lisp actually completed the initial task of getting the princess free, and Author clearly favors C over the drooling and old lisp hacker
Shareni@programming.dev 11 months ago
Naah, C stabbed himself in both of his feet while planning. The rest of it is his dying mind hallucinating saving the princess.
Lisp is the true hero, but the author has a parenthophobia
uid0gid0@lemmy.world 11 months ago
The Patsy from Monty Python in the PHP section got me
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 11 months ago
“Message for you sir!”
*argh*
troyunrau@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
I have that as my cell phone notification. It’s amazing.
Here’s a download link if anyone else wants it: drive.google.com/file/d/…/view?usp=sharing
PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Rust:
You crushed the princess under the weight of all the crates you imported
fallingcats@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
Nothing against the singularity that is a node_modules directory
r00ty@kbin.life 11 months ago
C# is about right. LINQ was meant to make things easier, or at least the code easier to read. Instead, you gain this addiction to seeing how much functional logic you can fit into one line of code (or a single multi-line query) while still remaining readable.
Curdie@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I feel personally attacked.
remotedev@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Ruby: there is a built in method called
free_the_princess()CmdrKeen@lemmy.today 11 months ago
require 'castle' begin Castle.attack rescue Princess => p puts "Done" end
karmiclychee@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
On Castle, no less.
fruitycoder@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
You have rust, you decide to rewrite the C plan but the only library that supports it uses unsafe code so you go back and rewrite it. Wait what were you working on?
Nugelz@programming.dev 11 months ago
Why’s this look so poo on my phone?
MaliciousKebab@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Might be the client. I use eternity and it looks OK on my phone.
doeknius_gloek@feddit.de 11 months ago
Also good with Boost once I opened the image and clicked “HD”.
Octopus1348@lemy.lol 11 months ago
Also good on Voyager.
Unforeseen@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Also good in Connect on my phone
30p87@feddit.de 11 months ago
Not the best quality, but still easily enjoyable on Eternity Nightly
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
Your app is written in LISP
mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
You have Perl.
%_=~aj/dy/hfiw8i/g;
$_/a(h0w8)y@;
FWA/E.*FW[tu29uy]/;
%(1)hjc/f4ifh38/y;The princess is saved, but all you can think about is rescuing another, with an entirely different plan. Which is just as well because you have no fucking idea how to explain the one you just wrote and executed.
flumph@programming.dev 11 months ago
I’m going to have to print out the Go version for all future “it’s idiomatic” and “but the community!” debates at work
Gobbel2000@feddit.de 11 months ago
Rust:
magic_lobster_party@kbin.social 11 months ago
You can’t rescue the princess, but you can borrow her.
cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world 11 months ago
…good enough.
Ill get her back in 3 minutes
Octopus1348@lemy.lol 11 months ago
It will also complain that trying to break into the castle is unsafe, so you have to tell it that you know.
Rodeo@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
That just means you designed your castle unsafely.
CanadaPlus@futurology.today 11 months ago
And then you do that, but there’s a hidden ember smoldering in one of her torches that catches again, and everything including the horse and princess catches fire. Next time, pick an escape plan that only requires
unsafefor the drawbridge.There’s a totally safe way to do it too, I guess, but it involves building a series of replacement castles, and it’s also totally ugly and sinfully slow.
marcos@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Just clone the princes and get on with your day.