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Need a rust version too.

⁨816⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨MaliciousKebab@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨programmer_humor@programming.dev⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/fb8035e0-e7fb-43c1-aa6c-a625f8aaf983.jpeg

source

Comments

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  • Gobbel2000@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Rust:

    Cannot move princess out of castle which is behind a shared reference

    source
    • magic_lobster_party@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You can’t rescue the princess, but you can borrow her.

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      • cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        …good enough.

        Ill get her back in 3 minutes

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    • Octopus1348@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      It will also complain that trying to break into the castle is unsafe, so you have to tell it that you know.

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      • Rodeo@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        That just means you designed your castle unsafely.

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      • CanadaPlus@futurology.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Alright, but you better be outside of a properly locked up and OSHA-compliant castle with the princess by the time I get back, or I’m not compiling.

        And then you do that, but there’s a hidden ember smoldering in one of her torches that catches again, and everything including the horse and princess catches fire. Next time, pick an escape plan that only requires unsafe for the drawbridge.

        There’s a totally safe way to do it too, I guess, but it involves building a series of replacement castles, and it’s also totally ugly and sinfully slow.

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    • marcos@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Just clone the princes and get on with your day.

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  • stebo02@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    no python? how are normie programmers like me supposed to relate to this?

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    • troyunrau@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You have python. You import antigravity. The princess flies off into space. You monkey patch the princess so she has wings.

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      • stebo02@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        And this is how I learned about the antigravity module. Pretty cool!

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    • aniki@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The artist is still waiting for the python cells to render.

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      • scratchresistor@thelemmy.club ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Rescuing is only I/O bounded; your argument is irrelevant.

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    • CodeMonkey@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Python: You send someone else to rescue the princess on your behalf. That someone else is the C knight.

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      • scratchresistor@thelemmy.club ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Only if you have to rescue many princesses in a short period of time

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    • iAvicenna@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      import army

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      • CanadaPlus@futurology.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Which is a library written in C, of course.

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    • psud@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      No perl either. Much like python you find a relevant library (in cpan), but unlike python there will be seven different implementations, and any four perl devs will come up with at least ten solutions, nine of which will successfully rescue the princess

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      • evranch@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Everything will seem to be be going great, but to actually gain access to the castle you’ll have to compare your situation to successful rescues to find the undocumented drawbridge control

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  • scratchresistor@thelemmy.club ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Python:

    from Rescues import Princess
Princess.rescue()
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    • bob_lemon@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      map(lambda princess: princess.rescue(), [castle.get_princess() for castle in castles])

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      • scratchresistor@thelemmy.club ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Don’t forget to keep your return values…

        rescued_princesses = [{“princess”: princess, “rescued”: princess.rescue()} for princess in [castle.get_princess() for castle in castles]]

        source
    • CmdrKeen@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
      from Castle import Princess

      Done

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  • smeg@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Here is the original comic, it’s got the word fuck in it! Direct link to higher-quality image.

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    • PixxlMan@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      NOOOOOOO NOT THE FUCK W*RD!

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      • killeronthecorner@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I can’t fucking believe you’ve done this

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      • shotgun_crab@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Now I can’t let my cats see this comic :(

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    • MaliciousKebab@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Changed the image link, thanks.

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    • LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You seem very excited so now I have to check it out.

      source
  • killeronthecorner@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Swift: Apple releases a new version of the castle and deprecates the princess before you finish your implementation

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    • turing_spider574@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      the author did another comic with swift and it’s pretty much what you said lol

      toggl.com/blog/kill-dragon-comic

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      • fossilesque@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The Python one should have been an environment joke.

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      • moomoomoo309@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I love the Lua one because it’s so true, LuaJIT is magic and Mike Pall is the only one who understands it as its creator.

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  • ilinamorato@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You have Rust. (the knight in this panel looks very cool, wears sunglasses, and probably has a ponytail)

    You’ve been told how easy it is to rescue the princess. Absolutely nothing will get in your way, they say; nobody can possibly get access to your plan, and you can even rescue multiple princesses simultaneously! (in this panel, the knight is imagining rescuing three princesses from three different castles at the same time)

    You start working on your plan. It’s elegant and beautiful. You write articles on Medium to tell other knights how to rescue their princess. You tell everyone who will listen about your plan. You become a Rust zealot. You never rescue the princess. (In this panel, the knight is nowhere to be seen, and the princess looks bored in her tower. The knight is across the field, at a festival with the banner “RUSTCONF” flying overhead)

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    • lseif@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      yeah but memory safety tho

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      • WaterWaiver@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Yeah not one mention of “I’ll never forget you Princess”

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  • EnderMB@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Always good to see Jon Skeet get some love. I’d love to know in terms of quantity just how many people he’s helped over the last decade or so.

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    • magic_lobster_party@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      He has used this comic as his profile pic on Twitter and StackOverflow for quite a while.

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    • Daxtron2@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Literally every time I’ve ever posted a question on SO that’s related to .NET, Skeet comes to my rescue.

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    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I just wonder how many he would have saved if he didn’t write the language in the first place

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      • revlayle@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        wat

        Skeet did not write or create c#

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    • thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      if we count the number of people who have used products with code helped by him; we’re probably around 50% of all humanity by now. at least…

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  • agent_flounder@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Omg Lisp. I’m dying. Our object oriented programming class in college involved programming in Scheme. This was… a while ago.

    Saving this forever.

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    • Lawyerator@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Yup, Scheme was the only programming language taught in our comp-sci department so we could “learn how to learn.” Two years and a broken parentheses button later, and I switched to being a theatre major.

      Today, my legal career stands as a testament to the pointlessness of a declared major.

      source
    • lastunusedusername2@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I did the same thing in Scheme. It was mine expanding.

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  • Aceticon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You use Assembly.

    You describe each and every leg movement and each and every step to the castle and over the castle bridge and inside the castle.

    You somehow end up in the castle kitchen.

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    • sunbeam60@lemmy.one ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Or more precisely. You end up in a dark room. You’re not sure it’s ok the castle.

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      • nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        And the only way back is by counting every step you took on the way in, and if you miss one, the castle buries you.

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  • felbane@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Rust: You declare the castle type as unsafe and then search for a crate with a rescue_princess function. You discover the princess you rescued is a femboy wolfkin named Pawws. You now have pubic lice.

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  • akash_rawal@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Rust: You get a horse and arrive at the castle within seconds but the horse is too old and doesn’t work with the castle. You remove the horse, destructure the castle and rescue the princess within seconds, but now you have no horse. While you’re finding a compatible horse and thinking whether you should write your own horse, Bowser recaptures the princess and moves her to another castle.

    source
  • nailbar@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    PHP 8 makes it finally possible to rescue the princess, but you accidentally princess the rescue instead.

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    • ISMETA@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      PHP 8 makes it possible to rescue the princess but your 83 legacy princesses are all still PHP 5.

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      • nailbar@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I did not want to be reminded of that today 😡

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  • kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    So let me summarise this:

    Only C and Lisp actually completed the initial task of getting the princess free, and Author clearly favors C over the drooling and old lisp hacker

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    • Shareni@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Naah, C stabbed himself in both of his feet while planning. The rest of it is his dying mind hallucinating saving the princess.

      Lisp is the true hero, but the author has a parenthophobia

      source
  • uid0gid0@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The Patsy from Monty Python in the PHP section got me

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    • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      “Message for you sir!”

      *argh*

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      • troyunrau@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I have that as my cell phone notification. It’s amazing.

        Here’s a download link if anyone else wants it: drive.google.com/file/d/…/view?usp=sharing

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  • PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Rust:

    You crushed the princess under the weight of all the crates you imported

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    • fallingcats@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Nothing against the singularity that is a node_modules directory

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  • r00ty@kbin.life ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    C# is about right. LINQ was meant to make things easier, or at least the code easier to read. Instead, you gain this addiction to seeing how much functional logic you can fit into one line of code (or a single multi-line query) while still remaining readable.

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    • Curdie@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I feel personally attacked.

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  • remotedev@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Ruby: there is a built in method called free_the_princess()

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    • CmdrKeen@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
      require 'castle'

begin
  Castle.attack
rescue Princess => p
  puts "Done"
end
      source
    • karmiclychee@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      On Castle, no less.

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  • fruitycoder@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You have rust, you decide to rewrite the C plan but the only library that supports it uses unsafe code so you go back and rewrite it. Wait what were you working on?

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  • Nugelz@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Why’s this look so poo on my phone?

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    • MaliciousKebab@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Might be the client. I use eternity and it looks OK on my phone.

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      • doeknius_gloek@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Also good with Boost once I opened the image and clicked “HD”.

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      • Octopus1348@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Also good on Voyager.

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      • tja@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Also good in sync on my phone

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      • Unforeseen@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Also good in Connect on my phone

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      • chandz05@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Also good in Boost on my phone

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      • 30p87@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Not the best quality, but still easily enjoyable on Eternity Nightly

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    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Your app is written in LISP

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  • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You have Perl.

    %_=~aj/dy/hfiw8i/g;
    $_/a(h0w8)y@;
    FWA/E.*FW[tu29uy]/;
    %(1)hjc/f4ifh38/y;

    The princess is saved, but all you can think about is rescuing another, with an entirely different plan. Which is just as well because you have no fucking idea how to explain the one you just wrote and executed.

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  • flumph@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’m going to have to print out the Go version for all future “it’s idiomatic” and “but the community!” debates at work

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