The duality of Man.
We hardly remember how our parents raised us when we were newborn/infants. How can we be expected to raise our own kids after they are born ?
Submitted 2 weeks ago by DeadNinja@lemmy.world to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
Comments
gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
mexicancartel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Your comment is now shown in between thoose two comments for me
PiraHxCx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
The Grok AI nanny will take care of them.
logi@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
…if you know what I mean.
Iconoclast@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
Your own parents were in the exact same situation. And their parents. And theirs…
MantisToboggon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You can obviously read, you posted this. Maybe that could open some doors.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Can’t read, only write.
thevoidzero@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This is one of the things I don’t understand about west, Grandparents and family are a big part of raising children in Asia. Anyone with their first baby will be confused, and won’t know what to do if they have never done it before.
How it works in Asia (at least my culture),
- Grandparents teach and take care of baby, letting the mother rest and breastfeed. They have seen and gone through multiple baby raising themselves,
- other siblings help, even younger siblings, that means when it’s their turn they also have some idea and experience on the matter,
- you also help with cousins and other people occasionally, so even the eldest children have some experience with babies,
- many communities have volunteers that help with new moms on new suggestions from government. Like when we changed from carrying baby on the back, to carrying them in the front for warmth and safety. So this balances tradition with new knowledge on what is best.
This is the knowledge transfer part. There is the whole part where this support means a lot for recovering mothers.
mech@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
“You don’t have to raise kids, they grow by themselves”
Quote from my aunt, who successfully let 3 kids grow. (They turned out great)
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I can remember how my parents raised me, and I’m going out of my way to not do it like that.
MagicShel@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Kids raise themselves more than we give them credit for. Don’t be an asshole or abusive and set a good example even when you want to be lazy or rant or whatever cathartic but inappropriate behavior to which you might be predisposed.
I’ve lectured until the cows come home. I’ve yelled. I’ve patiently explained — none of that really matters. But every once in a while they will come and ask you a question. That is them acknowledging your experience or wisdom. Those are the moments you get to choose how they approach things. And even then it’s maybe 1 time in 50 anything sinks in.
I have five kids. Sometimes they amaze me with who they are. Other times they are all growing and figuring things out. Same as me.
BassTurd@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
There are more and better resources now than ever to learn about raising a children. I was spanked and I’d imagine most people before me for spanked. Before that you cut a switch and we’re essentially lashed. Those practices are now considered wrong with one being literal legal child abuse. Things like positive reinforcement, physical contact, and just love are shown to raise much better people. As far as nursing, diapers, and all that jazz, there’s endless options to read about and experts to consult with. I’m sure you remember some of your childhood and some of the events that you now know were good and bad. Use that knowledge as well. Nobody was born with all of the knowledge, use the support around to gain it.
BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
By existing in a state of anything from mild anxiety to outright panic about the welfare of the squidgy crying thing, googling anything that seems abnormal and learning they usually cry about 4 things: Hungry Temperature is wrong Nappy Tired
Try them all until you figure out what cry means what.
LurkingLuddite@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
I remember plenty. Do not pretend to speak for everyone. My parents were and are srupid bigots. Do not pretend I will perpetuate such ignorant beliefs.
fizzle@quokk.au 2 weeks ago
Objectively yes, my parents aren’t well educated and they are also bigots.
That said, they did their best to raise me, within the confines of the social norms at the time.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Don’t be an Anti-vax bitch! Got it‽
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
You’ll run into a nasty recursion error if you think about that too much. My parents didn’t remember how they were raised when they raised me. And so on.
It turns out no one knows anything, it’s all fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants bullshit, and the people you should trust the least are the ones who claim to know anything about anything.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Barring any issues with a kid outside of a parent’s control, this is what one should hope for a kid:
Top of the list: Love, safety, food, etc., the basics, and a lack of judgement for *personality or other orientation. That’s 90% of it.
Teach your kid right from wrong not by command or dogma, but by example.
Teach your kid how to learn, and teach them directly as needed.
*I don’t have the vocabulary in my head, but the gist I’m after is not trying to cram a kid into your mold. Sexual orientation-wise, how they dress, what jobs or careers are acceptable, sports… Let them be who they are as long as there’s no harm.
Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
The same way they did.
Just give your best and try to not repeat the worst offenders.schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Part of it is an instinct. All mammals, including humans, have evolved to be at least somewhat competent at raising offspring because those that weren’t had an obvious evolutionary disadvantage. Think of how other animals do it; if they can do that, why wouldn’t you?
But it’s a skill like any other, you can read books or watch videos or attend courses about it, or you can ask people who’ve successfully done it before (such as your parents).
lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Disclaimer: I’m not a parent, and I will never have biological children of my own.
You weren’t born learning to read or write either.
It’s a combination of education from people around you, other sources such as books or the internet, and experts like their pediatrician, and a lot of figuring it out as you go along. There’s no one right way to parent, but there are a lot of wrong ways to parent.
Haquer@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
I am a parent, and you are correct. I just fuckin’ wing it.
Nomad@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
Watching my wife become a mother was one of the more unexpected exclusive in my life. Instinct is a hell of a thing.