OP figures out love languages

Comments

• gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Who’s a good girl!!! Yeah you! You’re the goodest girl! Yes you are!!!

  OP scratches gf behind her ears, puts her outside, fucks the dog.

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  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Yes! That’s exactly what we… wait.

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  • Scranulum@feddit.nu ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Does anyone else hear blink-182 in the background

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    • Holytimes@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yes… I did… How did you know…?

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• Steve@communick.news ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This is completely reasonable.
  It makes too much sense to be a shit post.

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  • untorquer@quokk.au ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s just healthy adaptation. They care for their partner so they found a way to meet their partner’s needs that isn’t overly burdensome.

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    • bizarroland@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I mean, what on earth makes you happier than someone you care about being excited to see you?

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    • Jax@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I just do the things to her that I do to my dog, because I love my dog more.

      Ah, I see — we’re calling this healthy now.

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  • SillyDude@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This is the week that Lemmy shitposting died. Now its just horny on main and tumblr reposts.

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• yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I would unironically love it if my wife would bust out a chocolate telling me “whos a good boy?”.

  I will wash the dishes for that.

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  • frog@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Bro, dogs can’t have chocolate! \s

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  • helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?

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    • vrek@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Years ago I was a young white guy with long hair and a short ish beard. Someone at my job decided I looked like shaggy from scooby doo. The name kinda stuck and became my nickname.

      Few months later, I was at work and one of the guys came over and asked for some favor. I forget what it was but it wasn’t like a 30 second thing, it was like a multi hour task. I denied the request and made some excuse. He then reached behind his back and pulled out a box of scooby snacks. They were like small graham crackers in the shape of a dog head like scooby. “Would you do it for a scooby snack?” Everyone around started laughing, even I started laughing.

      I didn’t end up doing it and the task was just made up for the joke. It was pretty funny though. He said he saw them over the weekend when grocery shopping for his family and thought the joke was too good.

      Side note, they still make scooby snacks and the kid I’m basically raising actually really likes them.

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    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I would! I want to try that shit.

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  • daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I want this sooooo bad.

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  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You should wash the dishes no matter what. You live there. Clean up after yourself.

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    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Naw

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  • Pirat@lemmy.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Like a dog … with your tongue?

    Is your name Coldwater?

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• Meron35@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Unironically good advice though.

  Some relationship experts recommend taking elements of treating your SO more like pets, because we are way more patient towards them, understand and reciprocate their needs for affection better, and don’t expect them to perfect.

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  • shneancy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    and also we don’t hold back our emotions for them!

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• Grimy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Ouf, that tldr tho

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  • SavinDWhales@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I just do the things to her that I do to my dog…

    Sooo… You’re doing it… doggystyle? 👉🏼👈🏼

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    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I hope this doesn’t mean that he treats his dog the same way he treats his gf 🍆🍑

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• redsand@infosec.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  1000004662

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  • Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Her name is ladybird. You gotts call it laaaaadybird like that or she won’t come

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• Obnomus@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Not sure how to react to this tbh.

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  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If this is even real, at least OOP learned a lot in this relationship, so if the relationship ever ends (because the gf found the post and was horrified to discover not only that bf had been treating her like a DOG, but he also told the entire world about it but didn’t tell HER), at least he kinda knows a little bit better how to treat a woman.

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• callyral@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This is kinda sad but I’m… glad it worked?

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  • Soleos@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s sad only because the tone is dismissive/condescending. Otherwise it’s just describing someone who figured out how their gf likes to receive affection. My head canon says they’ve only been dating for a couple months and they’ve had their dog for years.

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    • QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I don’t think I could ever love a partner more than I love my cat tbh

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• guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I hope his gf reads it.

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• lumettaria@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  On one hand: good for them. On the other: how are people this helpless

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• aggelalex@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Schizoid moment

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