Comment on OP figures out love languages

• Horsecook@sh.itjust.works ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You assume that’s an accurate conclusion.

  They were likely taught to display affection towards animals, as a child, without similar instruction regarding people, and are now reasoning backwards from these learned behaviors.

  “I display more affection towards my dog, therefore I must like my dog more.” rather than “I like my dog more, therefore I display more affection towards it.”

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  • Jax@sh.itjust.works ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I literally quoted their TL;DR.

    What you’re trying to suggest is essentially saying ‘Yeah it’s totally fine to think you love your dog more than you love your girlfriend, it’s 100% healthy to treat your human girlfriend like you would an animal’.

    Dude, what the fuck, I know Trump is president but let’s not speedrun our way back to the 40’s that quickly. This is either fake or the definition of unhealthy.

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    • Horsecook@sh.itjust.works ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’m sorry you didn’t understand my comment.

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      • Jax@sh.itjust.works ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I understand your comment, I reject it.

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    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah, a species tends to hate it’s own members the mist I noticed. Like, cats and dogs hate their own species, but cuddle up to humans.

      We have other reasons to avoid cuddling humans, like people just assume there must be something sexual about it.

      A bunch of times I felt like just cuddling grown ass humans anyway.

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      • FooBarrington@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Most cats and dogs don’t hate their own species - they are social animals and naturally live in groups with their own species! But when you raise cats and dogs almost solely around humans, they don’t know how to behave around members of their own species, and so depending on their personalities they react in ways that seem to you like “hating their own species”.

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• untorquer@quokk.au ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Unhealthy would be if you as the other in the relationship (the one seeking affection here) were not ok with this and tried to change it. It Doesn’t sound like the relationship with the dog is negotiable.

  I wouldn’t be happy in that relationship because i need emotional mutuality/reflection, which is clearly muted here. But the two partners here are obviously fine with it.

  I don’t mean to diagnose anyone but this is fairly common for both trauma survivors and neurodivergence. Animals are just going to always be safer than people for some folks, and those folk also deserve love.

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  • Jax@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s incredible that I have two people in this thread who simultaneously decide that the OP is an unreliable narrator and completely write in their own stories for why this actually isn’t unhealthy.

    It’s incredible, truly — the delusion I mean.

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    • untorquer@quokk.au ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Not sure where i decided the narrator is unreliable. They say their partner loves it. Two people happy in a relationship. An example of how one problem solved to meet the needs communicated by the other. The result being positive. That’s just reading what’s written. I don’t see where i made something up. I provided examples of types of people who may use a logic like this but didn’t prescribed it to op.

      Not a dynamic for me but i wouldn’t gawk at someone for feeling fulfilled in it. I get the humor that it’s expected to be considered demeaning.

      🤷

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