Why did an old friend who stood up for me in school block me when I messaged him on Facebook?

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stacyasks@lemmy.cafe⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

He was an old friend who stood up for me in school when I was facing harassment. He had a tough persona, but he spoke softly to me and was gentle with me. That was in 2006. I messaged him on Facebook a month ago, nothing too detailed, just asking him if he was at [school] in 2006. To be specific, the exact message was “hey, were you ever at [school I went to] in 2006?”. I have a picture of my face as my profile picture, and my intention was just to re-connect with old friends or maybe to just thank him for what he did. That day, I was being harassed so badly that I was in tears. I’d been bullied a lot, and he was someone I looked up to. Today, his profile in my Chats list just says “Facebook user” and how he’s not available on messenger. My sister can’t find him on Facebook either.

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MotoAsh@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Probably took it as fishing. Asking a very obvious personally identifiable question is how many scammers try to break the ice with social engineering. Ask questions that help the scammer further identify their target or assets of the target.

A question that anyone should already know the answer to isn’t a great idea, though. If it is you, you should already know if you went to school with them. If it’s not you, it’s still an odd question, because it should be verifiable already on their profile? Either way, the generic question really isn’t sending, “hey I remember and want to connect with you” vibes, IMO. It’s giving, “hey I recently got in to MLMs” vibes.

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- dukeofdummies@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  This, I’ve had it happen twice where someone messages me out of the blue with an inane general question. I text the guy in questions old phone asking (hey its duke, are you sending messages on facebook?) And the answer both times was “I haven’t used it in like five years”
  
  One stopped the hacker and the other didn’t give a shit.
  
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FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Could be any number of reasons that we could only speculate over.

My advice is 1) don't use META products (evil company, no joke) and 2) try not to obsess over interactions long passed, if you happen to bump into them and a conversation occurs, fine but if it doesn't, don't stress about it: Live in the present as much as you can.

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db2@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Why do you assume it’s about you?

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- GrayBackgroundMusic@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Not op, but my anxiety gremlin always shouts that it’s obviously my fault. The universe is conspiring to hate me specifically. (yes I’m on meds and in treatment)
  
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FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
No idea - maybe the best way of contacting him now is to ask someone else you knew from school to reach out to him.

Maybe he just thought you were someone else he went to school with.

Maybe he doesn’t get messaged on facebook a lot, so you reminded him that it exists and he decided to delete it - i know i historically had no space for it on my phone so I got rid of it.

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magnetosphere@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Don’t take it personally. There are a million reasons he might not want to use facebook trash anymore. Plus, there was no way for him to be sure that it was really you.

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BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Not everybody wants to reconnect with any random person from their past. He did a nice thing for someone years ago, that doesn’t mean he wants a relationship with that person for the rest of their life.

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Fleppensteijn@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I believe you don’t easily see messages from people who are not in your friend list. Also many people still have an account but don’t use it at all anymore. Maybe getting a notification from FB reminded him to finally delete the account.

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FriendOfDeSoto@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Unless your schoolmate is here, I don’t think you will get a definitive answer. And what people do on social media is not necessarily representative to what they would do in real life. So don’t take this block personally.

A mixup of names has been suggested a a possible explanation. It could just as well simply be a mistaken touch on the app or a misplaced click on the site. That person may have their own ghosts of school life past to fend off and they’ve chosen to make a clean break and not keep in touch with people from that time for their own mental health. Or they are friends with the people who used to bully you and doesn’t want them to spot you on their friends list. Or, while they treated you nicely and stood up for you, it’s still possible they just don’t like you regardless. There are many possible explanations.

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DebatableRaccoon@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Could be any number of things. Bringing back memories he doesn’t want, mistaken identity, jealous SO. Anyone on here can only guess. Your best avenue is people you mutually know, assuming that wasn’t his way of definitively telling you he wants to be left alone.

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Perspectivist@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Probably either wasn’t the guy you thought he was or he thought of it as a scam.

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Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
People move on and don’t want to look back. You don’t get to know what happened.

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Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Because Facebook is a pool of stupid waste?

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dyslexicdainbroner@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Died?

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pyrinix@kbin.melroy.org ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
People change overtime. What you find important in this post, may very well not be as important to them today. I mean, I've asked former friends before in the past about certain events. A lot of the time I get mixed answers or I'm told that it doesn't matter anymore. Because it didn't and asking those questions came off as incredibly odd to even ask.

Because things do stop mattering to some people overtime. They might've undergone so many changes that even recognizing you may be difficult. They might've only done one thing in the past and just simply forgot about it or didn't care enough for it to matter later.

I know if I was asked random questions such as that, I'd be more concerned as to whether or not it'd be relevant to what's going on with me today, not then.

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AcesFullOfKings@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
[deleted]
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- Stacyasks@lemmy.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  On Facebook, I mean. I know that accounts with blank profile pictures can seem suspicious. The profile picture was a photo of myself.
  
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Zier@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Maybe someone (an imposter) stole his name and it wasn't actually your friend. They locked their account down because you actually thought it was them.
Anyone can be anyone online. Better to find him through real people you both know.

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