Would it make sense for a person in a "privileged class" to move from a red state?

Submitted ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨31337@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

Trying to gauge if I’m going crazy or a little too much “online.”

I currently live in Texas, and moving has been on my mind a lot lately as the Republican party and Texas itself seems to be slowly moving toward fascism. I don’t know when the slide toward fascism will stop, and how much more authoritarian the state will get. I do not feel very good about my tax dollars going to support this state.

I am a middle-aged cishet white man; middle to upper middle class software engineer. I have leftist opinions (libsoc/ansoc), but I’m not an activist (I am very introverted, probably a little bit on the autism spectrum, and pretty much a hermit right now). I do seldom indulge in marijuana consumption, which is illegal here.

I really don’t have much tying me down here. I have no close friends, no family in the state, and no current romantic partners. Last year, I moved within the state for a job, but the company was bought out, and everyone was layed off. I have very high autonomy at my current job, and could probably work fully remote if I wanted. Moving would be expensive (I am in an upside-down mortgage), but I have enough savings to take the hit.

I am personally feeling very isolated here (Texas suburb), at this point in my life, and am thinking about moving into some sort of intentional community (eco-village, cohousing, or land trust; not a commune) in a blue state (or even in Canada if I could pull that off).

Also, the weather in the last 2 years has been absolutely oppressive, and I have a hard time keeping anything alive in my veggie garden :)

Am I being over dramatic? Should I just stick it out here, and try to rebuild my life in a state that doesn’t align with my beliefs?

Also, I’ve heard arguments that libs should stay or even move to red states, but I’m not convinced. The state rules with an iron fist, and pre-empts anything progressive Texas cities try to do. And the district I live in is already pretty solidly blue. Not to mention, red states put families that contain females or lbgt people in danger.

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TrismegistusMx@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
You can only choose what’s right for you. I’ve often said that if I was able to work remotely with a high paying job that I would buy a big house in a small town.

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bucho@lemmy.one ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Gotta go with what works for you. But as a fellow cishet middle-aged white engineer, you could not pay me enough money for me to want to move to Texas. Or Florida. Or most of the middle of the country. If I were in your shoes, I’d be out as soon as I had the means to leave.

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- guyrocket@kbin.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Isn't the weather alone enough of an argument against TX or FL? What will it be like there in 10 or 20 years?
  
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  - bucho@lemmy.one ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I mean, I’m a fuckin’ weirdo who loves both heat and humidity. So I’m not really the target audience for that particular argument. But I get that I’m a weirdo, and most people don’t like living in the desert or a swamp. Personally, I’m much more turned off by their politics than I am their weather.
    
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angrylittlekitty@lemmy.one ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
agree with what everyone else has said here. worry less about “should” and go find your tribe wherever it may be.

as i once said to a friend who contemplated the same kind of move years ago, if it doesn’t work out you can always move back. not like it’s a one way street.

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coffeecoffeecoffee89@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I just moved from NC to the Pacific Northwest for very similar reasons. Remote work in tech and no close family ties back in NC. My partner and I moved here a few months ago and while the cost of living is definitely an adjustment, it has been a positive change in every other way. The weather is great and the people are wonderful. I no longer get nervous or anxious going out in public. I actually enjoy restaurants and farmers markets here. You only get one life. Be happy.

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dan1101@lemm.ee ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Since you have the means and nothing to tie you down, I’d say go for it. It would be interesting to try living somewhere different. You only have so many years to experience life. Any sort of rural area further North should still be affordable and be kinder to your vegetable garden.

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geogle@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
The states are not liberal or conservative, it’s the fraction of rural/suburban to urban areas. It’s extremely rare to find a left leaning rural population and similarly difficult to find a very right urban one. Find a place that suites you, but keep in mind your hood’s politics will largely be controlled by population density engaging-data.com/election-population-density/

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- 31337@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Yeah, I know. I grew up in a very rural area, and now live in a major metro area. It’s not so much the people in my area that I have a problem with, it’s the state government. I’ve met plenty of like-minded people in my area, and most have been contemplating moving out of state as well, lol. I’m trying to figure out where I want to set down roots at, and right now it seems like a gamble that Texas won’t become more authoritarian in ways that negatively affect me as time goes on. Even current legislation could negatively affect me if my life circumstances change.
  
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Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Try a Midwest swing state! I live in a backwoods town in PA, and although there’s not much of a chance of a Dem winning a local election, we have enough major cities to keep fascism out of the State law.

I might be very wrong, but I wouldn’t be against Texas and Florida leaving and starting their own countries. Let all the boot licking racists go live happily together far away from me.

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- 31337@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Recreational marijuana is illegal in PA. I’ve kinda been using recreational marijuana laws as a litmus test on how authoritarian a state is. Also, I do sometimes use marijuana, and don’t want to go to jail. I’ve had a few close-calls here in Texas (once, the cops just stole my weed). Been looking at rural NY as a possibility. I may visit some intentional communities there soon.
  
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  - Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Very true. There is a lot of talk about changing that in Harrisburg, so hopefully it won’t take long. Michigan and New York are close legal options.
    
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Blamemeta@lemm.ee ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
If you have to ask, it might be best if you move. But you’d most likely fall into the same habits and become isolated again. Have you tried joining a club or something?

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HootinNHollerin@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I was born and raised in Texas and left over a decade ago for all the reasons you mentioned. I do think Texas will eventually turn purple. The Republicans are going more fascist because they know this too and are having to get even more aggressive to try and stop it.

I simply refuse to live in a red state. Only negative is a higher cost of living esp housing where I landed and further from family. But I feel more at home even tho I’m not where I was born.

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- Today@lemm.ee ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Texas population is purple, we just need more people to vote. My work and social circle are 85% blue and 15% moderate red. You’re going to find people who agree and disagree with you in any situation and that’s how it should be. You have to do what’s right for you, but wherever you are, vote and encourage people around you to vote. That’s the only way anything gets better.
  
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Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Honestly in all this it’s easy to forget about the simple things. Does living where you are make you happy? Florida is likely imploding at present as the draconian laws being dredged out are going to cause issues. Notible ones. Republicans are basically cutting off their own noses to spite their face to make their supposed utopia and the logistical problems are mounting meaning a greater degree of cognitive dissonance will be required to maintain enthusiasm.

There are people who are having to flee because they can’t be healthy there. You are not an exception to this. If you can’t be healthy where you are then being beholden to the gridlock of politics is affecting you in a way that is not ethical. Yes, we trans folks and people affected by abortion bans need allies. But we can’t fault people for their choices to leave because they are unhappy for the same reasons we are.

Epicurean ethics run the trans movement. At it’s core is this set of principles : you, like every other living thing are in the right to seek the circumstances under which you best flourish. Minimizing the pain experienced, your own and that of others is ethical. Avoiding pain is not an unethical choice.

Whether it’s denying their government tax revenue or staying so you can lend your voice to the movements you believe in it all might come out in the wash in the broader sense of politics - but you also deserve kindness.

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Snapz@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Red state doesn’t necessarily matter, find a purple state or a purple district where you and a few like minded people can potentially flip a district. I moved to a perpetually 51/49 district, I did get involved a bit in local politics to help spread the word (mostly stopped during COVID). Within a few years, we flipped the district blue for the first time in like 15-20 years.

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RickRussell_CA@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I made the move 15 years ago.

I’m certainly glad to be in a society that isn’t hostile to females, LGBTQ, etc.

Does it affect my day-to-day? Eh, probably not. I certainly could live in a regressive state without any personal risk or penalty.

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eldavi@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
yes, it’s the definition of privilege since most don’t have that privilege and i’ve recently become a member to that privileged class (for now atleast); which is how i can recognize it.

i also do software and i was in austin and left a couple of weeks ago because i’m not cishet nor white but still experienced enough bigotry (especially from gay texans) that it was impacting my psyche, so i had to leave and i feel sorry for whomever is like me but is stuck there because of something as silly as not having the opportunity to do software.

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riceandbeans161@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
i’m not you, but i can only recommend you to get out. As far away from the fascists as possible.

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freedomPusher@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I think you would benefit most by moving abroad. Staying in one country your whole life is very one-dimensional. If you move to another country, esp. overseas, you will look back on your current boredom as wasting your life and you will regret not having done it sooner. Go for just one year. You can always return if you don’t like it. You might be someone who says “I went for 1 year, but stayed 5”.

But first move to a purple swing state like GA or PA for just a month or two, then move your stuff into mini storage. Two reasons: you get to experience a different part of the US, briefly, and you can register to vote in a place where your future votes will count the most. Because that’s the state you will vote in while abroad. OTOH, isn’t Texas on the edge of being a swing state? It’s probably not a bad place to vote from.

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APassenger@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I moved from Texas to California.

While I wish I’d done it with better financial timing, it worked out and I’m glad I’m here. Hell, it sounds like your skills are a food fit for certain places, too.

If it suits you, find a place where outdoors is a place you can enjoy almost every day of the year. They aren’t as rare as Texas makes it seem.

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MajorHavoc@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Sounds like you’re ready for a change.

I encourage you to focus more on where you’re moving to, then where you’re moving from.

This is a chance to choose a community that supports your hobbies and interests.

As others mentioned, it also makes sense to consider the impact of local policies and amenities on both yourself and your future friends or lovers. Life can be simpler if you already live in a place that supports whoever you may end up building a life with later.

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Magister@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I’m like you, 50s, middle class software developer, WFH, never will vote conservatives. I’m already in a right place (Québec). Yeeeeaaaaarrrssss ago I wanted to move to the USA of course, opportunities, money, freedom, etc, then I saw what was going on south of my border and decided to stay in Canada, it was a good non move.

If I were at your place in life, I would definitively move, especially because Texas. Moving to Canada maybe be complicated, to legally work here (and don’t go to alberta, the north texas), but maybe try New England? Boston for instance. If you prefer smaller city maybe Burlington? I don’t know west coast enough now, but Seattle was in my plan years ago, but now I’m not sure it’s the right place…

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jadedwench@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I left Texas many years ago and you couldn’t pay me enough to move back. Get out. Go experience other communities, cultures, and locations. Go somewhere where any future romantic partners have actual human rights and healthcare. Go somewhere that doesn’t have a state flag as part of its identity. It will be an adjustment, but change can be good.

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Yepthatsme@kbin.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I was in the middle of biker nazi desert town building expensive homes for rich people and yes, it was time to go once covid set in and their families started moving back and spreading their nazi propaganda at the local small destination town businesses. The weather is destroyed. We lost out monsoon 5 years ago. The weirdos in AZ jumping the border to cause trouble in CA has been annoying. The Republican representatives cater to racists and have been trying to switch leadership without elections. I shit you not.

Get out now because I assure you it is not getting better.

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solstice@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I’m right there with you in almost an identical situation only in Florida. Honestly though it doesn’t suck here nearly as much as Reddit and the media want you to believe. At least not for people like us anyway…

At the end of the day I try to ignore all the macroscopic issues that I have no control over. There’s a few things missing from my life here that are not missing elsewhere, so I’m 99% going to move soon.

I don’t mean this in a selfish way but I think the best thing to do is whatever is best for you regardless of all the white noise around you.

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rifugee@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Honestly, it seems to me that you have all but decided to move and the only thing holding you back is fear of change.

Man, if I were in your position, I’d downsize my belongings and become a digital nomad and I wouldn’t limit myself to the US. Spain, for example, has a new digital nomad visa that you can get for a year, renewable for three (I think), and it’s not really any more expensive to live there than a typical Midwestern city. Even cheaper in some areas of the country. If I didn’t have a family, I would move there in a heartbeat, at least for awhile.

There’s a lot to see and experience in the US too, though, so if you aren’t feeling adventurous enough to live outside the country, you might look at Minnesota. Duluth, just as an example, is about the same cost of living as Dallas and today’s high there is 69 (giggity) vs 106 in Dallas. I haven’t been to MN yet, but I’m planning a huge road trip for next summer and northern MN looks gorgeous.

The world is your oyster, my friend.

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bighatchester@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I never understood why anyone would want to live in Texas. Just seems like a bunch of insecure rednecks who is afraid of anything that isn’t a straight white family . I know not everyone one there is but it does seem like the people in power feel that way

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- 31337@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  As someone has mentioned before, it’s more of a rural/urban divide. Rural northern states are also full of rednecks. In my experience, rural Texan bigots are a lot more overt though. Stopped at a gas station in rural Texas once with my girlfriend (now ex), and the old women at the register refused to ring us up (because my girlfriend was black).
  
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- peanut_boy@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Lol. Lmao even
  
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dandroid@dandroid.app ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I’m in a similar situation to you. I feel that staying here and voting blue is better for helping than leaving to a blue state.

With the huge influx of people moving here from elsewhere (especially California), I really thought we had a chance to start tipping blue, but unfortunately it seems like no one that has a liberal mindset is interested in voting, at least in my area. Our voter turnout in my area is just abysmal. So despite living in a very blue city. Everything I voted for this last midterm election lost. Even things specific to my county.

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- scytale@lemm.ee ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  
  With the huge influx of people moving here from elsewhere (especially California), I really thought we had a chance to start tipping blue
  
  Weren’t a lot of people who moved from blue states conservatives who wanted out from there? I mean, I do know some people who moved for CoL reasons and not because of political views, but some people also moved because of the latter.
  
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  - dandroid@dandroid.app ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I can’t say for sure because I don’t have the data, but anecdotally, I moved here from California because I couldn’t afford California anymore, not because of my political views. I live in a highly tech area of Texas. As far as I can tell, it seems like other folks that I have met that also moved were in the same situation as me. Just couldn’t afford California anymore, wanted to move to another tech city.
    
    Unless we have data, I don’t think we can really do much other than speculate, unfortunately.
    
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Flarp@kbin.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Yes, moving from FL to DC has been a huge change in terms of the people I meet and the culture. Would definitely recommend

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- solstice@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  The whole DMV area is amazing, congrats on the move! I’d live there in a heartbeat if it were in the cards.
  
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givesomefucks@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
One of the reasons red states are so shitty is the people that disagree with Republicans keep leaving, so republicans keep winning elections.

I’m progressive but live in a red state, I might not live long enough to see shit get better, but if I leave…

It’s going to take even longer and fuck over people who can’t leave.

So I’m staying put.

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bradorsomething@ttrpg.network ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
They pax taxes in a red state. They spend most of their time in better places.

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768@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Isolation sucks and (political) alienation does too. I wouldn’t give too much about party politics, but supporting women and queers is a nice cause.

I guess you’re not the only one contemplating similar steps - given your class background I’d argue that it’s part of a brain drain of so called ‘red states’ (‘The South’ isn’t enough anymore). Political stability is part of QOL, but once intentionally disturbed there might be a feedback loop of brain drain, QOL decrease and political instability (because it sure isn’t safe for many).

I think you also have at least some moving experience…

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Wirrvogel@feddit.de ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Heat waves, droughts and extreme water events. If this is already a problem where you live, I would move. I need my garden. I need the world around me to be green and not burn me to a crisp or my quality of life is gone. I need my state to do what is possible to keep it green and cool and Texas does not have the best record in doing that.

For a ‘hermit’ person, finding a closer community could also be a very good thing. Do it when you are young. It’s much harder if you’re like me, approaching your 60s. The older we get, the harder it is to make big changes. I just made one because I know I’m going to stay single, but I don’t want to be a lonely old person. I like solitude, but only if it is a choice, and where I live now I have a close-knit community when I need company and space to myself. I am happy with the change, but getting used to a new place takes a lot of time now and it is a bit scary how hard it is on me compared to even bigger changes I made when I was 30.

Blue states also need people to defend democracy. You can be a pillar of democracy anywhere in the US, and keeping democracy up will keep the red states from going completely crazy.

Whatever your decision will be, I wish you the best!

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zlatiah@kbin.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Hey OP, I am similar to you in most aspects but I'm a lot younger, so please take it with a grain of salt...

I also live in Texas, and honestly I thought a lot of less privileged folks or ppl with family ties would love to be in your situation and just leave? It's not just about politics. Even if tomorrow Texas becomes a liberal stronghold, it will still take possibly at least a decade to fix ERCOT, the climate issue, and flooding issues (if you live in Houston)... This clusterfrick alone was enough to prompt me to never live in Texas again once I'm done with grad school

Besides, my understanding is that there are a few left-leaning metro areas which have suburbs (or live in the city!) that don't cost that much more to live in compared to mid-/upper-mid-class TX suburbs, so there's probably no financial disincentive to move either

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