Was surprised by these stats

Comments

• snek_boi@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  After careful forensic analysis, I have concluded the entire thing was created by a single person. I call this the One Author Theory (OAT). Let me present to you OAT’s evidence.

  First, notice almost every tally is similar to its immediate neighbors. They have the same color and the same thickness. This suggests the tallies were all made with the same marker and with similar techniques.

  We can see similar techniques elsewhere. First, notice that each category has tallies. Then, within each category (for example shit), focus on the rightmost tallies. Notice that the tallies tend to curve in a similar way. This suggests those tallies were created under similar conditions, with a similar technique.

  You may have noticed that the piss tallies are thicker and straighter than the jerk it tallies. This may suggest my One Author theory is wrong, but my theory does incorporates this fact. The fact is explained by a change in technique. Therefore, the OAT cannot stand on its own. It requires another theory to grab onto. This other theory is the Progressive Degradation of Commitment (PDC) Theory.

  I will now give evidence for the PDC Theory. Notice the shit category. Its topmost row has a consistent left-to-right pattern. The tallies become smaller and smaller. They also become curved at the end. This suggests a consistent loss of commitment.

  The PDC Theory appears to struggle with the jerk it category. After all, the bottom row starts with small tallies and progressively has its tallies grow tall and straight. This we shall call the Jerk It Anomaly (JIA). However, concluding that the Jerk It Anomaly (JIA) proves that the PDC Theory fails is incorrect. If one uses the PDC Theory correctly, it can actually explain the JIA.

  How? First, we need to remember that the PDC Theory shouldn’t be limited to rows. We saw an example of this when PDC Theory explained piss’ thickness in relation to jerk it’s thickness. In other words, PDC Theory can scale. It can explain rows of tallies but it can also explain columns of categories. So, if we apply PDC Theory to the entire work, we can assume that the entirety of the last column (jerk it) was built under stress. The author could’ve been pressured for time. It is unlikely, but not impossible, to speculate that the author felt a sudden urge to attend to his unfinished business, be it pissing, vaping, shitting, or jerking it. In either case, the PDC Theory comes out intact.

  Ultimately, the OAT uses the PDC Theory to address validity threats like the JIA. The author may have attempted to dupe us into thinking the census was representative of a population. However, the One Author Theory lets us see that the author’s work is more representative of their purposes, capabilities, and proclivities.

  It’s important to notice that this does not necessarily reduce the author’s merit and the piece’s impact. Future studies could evaluate to what extent this apparent census creates a sense of community and connection in the bathroom stall goers. The author of this very analysis, for one, would very much appreciate to shit and piss (but vape and jerk it) in a bathroom stall with this apparent census.

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  • felsiq@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Alright who’s posting this one to best of lemmy

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    • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      My finger hurts and I spent the last of my gumption posting this comment.

      Go on without me. Text my wife. Tell her I’ll be

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  • Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    There’s no fucking way that many people don’t know you strike the fifth tally. OAT all but confirmed. As usual by their own ignorance.

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• JohnnyMac@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  That shared sharpie has the 1000yard stare…

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• dumbass@quokk.au ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  All of the above

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  • normalexit@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The old deluxe pre shower ritual.

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  • Tetsuo@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    At the same time ?

    Challenge accepted.

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    • Passerby6497@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I call that my morning constitutional

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• Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Do other people not piss when they shit or are they just not recording the fact that they piss if they also shit?

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    It is only asking why you are there, not what you are doing. One could have entered with the intention of only pissing, but then had to shit too and then have a wank after. They mark piss, despite having shitted and wanked.

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    • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Good point

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• VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Where’s “cry”?

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  • amda@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    It’s bundled with “jerk it”

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• basxto@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  serKiT took me a while

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  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    It’s weird that 4 people are in there for rape.

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    • jaybone@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      It was gang rape.

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• Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Gotta make a new cell for “gay sex,” and add a line to it.

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  • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    It takes at least two lines for that

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    • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Only if someone else also comes for gay sex.

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• WraithGear@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Hey! Each jork doesn’t count as a whole jerk’n!

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