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"And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?"

⁨428⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stamets@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/834b50be-8133-4b6a-87be-e4877f86fdc1.jpeg

source

Comments

Sort:hotnewtop
  • abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Good for you, why should I care?

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  • starman2112@sh.itjust.works ⁨24⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    All these comments are trying too hard. The only two options are “OK?” and “that watch?”

    Verbose disses only work in rap

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    • untorquer@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Alternatively, “And it’s a very nice watch.” Bonus points for riding the line between nonchalance and condescension while still being a compliment.

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    • Diurnambule@jlai.lu ⁨16⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Ho I have the same one. That the only one you have?

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  • RadioFreeArabia@lemmy.world ⁨24⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Imagine not being able to tell the time by just looking up

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    • nailbar@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Misses train. Yells at clouds.

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  • Silic0n_Alph4@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    “Your watch cost more than £100?”

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  • moopet@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    When I was at school, the kids would say, “my dad’s shed is bigger than your dad’s shed”. But that was a long time ago, and we each had a child’s view of the world. Most of us grew up.

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  • iii@mander.xyz ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The classic “OK boomer” still gets them angry

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    • Windex007@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This is right, where every other comment in this thread is wrong.

      Don’t take the bait.

      Even just a flat OK is better than taking the bait. Honestly, silence is better.

      Do you care? Then you are poor and mad.

      source
      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Ah unimpressed ok is probably the best response.

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      • FiremanEdsRevenge@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Pretty sure no one is replying seriously.

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      • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Well “ok boomer” is just replying with another rage bait

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    • Obnomus@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      LMFAO

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    • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What if they’re 25?

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      • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Then you just give them a hug and tell them everything will be ok.

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      • fushuan@lemm.ee ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Uuuh… ok?.. Weirdo…

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  • ThatKomputerKat@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My car has an analog clock face too.

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  • Zacryon@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Grabs machete
    Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

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  • LavaPlanet@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Fool and his money.

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  • RagingRobot@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What kind of dumbass would spend that much on a watch?

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    • Spezi@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What kind of dumbass would spend so little on a watch?

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  • Taleya@aussie.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “So?”

    That’s the response you want. Complete andutter boredom. You don’t care. Their entire personality is built around a weird little status structure and if you don’t buy into their hallucination they lose their everloving minds

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    • paperazzi@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      “Ok” is my go-to. It feels dismissive because it is.

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  • Lupus@feddit.org ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “Interesting, may I see?” And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :“It’s fake” turn around and disengage.

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    • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Image

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  • agent_nycto@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.

    Image

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    • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The 3rd feature really convinced me

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  • whereisk@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Has this one done it? or how many such watches in do you get to be happy?

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  • aesthelete@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Sounds like you got ripped off

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    • tfm@europe.pub ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Nooo bro it increases in value bro I’m investing in watches bro

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      • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        But it’s gone up $200 since I bought it in 2014!

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  • dwindling7373@feddit.it ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “I don’t have a car”

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    • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      A power move when you know they know you have a car and it’s literally parked right outside

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    • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Or maybe double down: “I live in my car.”

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  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Serious answer:

    That’s cool. What makes it special?

    Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they’re proud that they could afford it and even when they’re being tone-deaf, there’s no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they’re stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you’re the one judging them.

    Cars (and watches) aren’t so expensive that a middle-class person can’t plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. My former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say “I really like the 2008 model.” She couldn’t argue with that.

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    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I feel special when my 6 year old laptop runs circles around your new shit because I know how to maintain it and don’t install every fucking app I find.

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      • Preflight_Tomato@lemm.ee ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        & also you probably know to spec it appropriately; most slow laptops I see have 8 gigs ram.

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  • OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “that’s a lot of money for such an ugly watch.”

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  • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That’s cool, but MY watch has a Tomagachi living in it.

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  • CherryBullets@lemmy.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    A classic that always makes people like this angry is the good ole, "Anyways, [Something you are casually going to do today or did yesterday]- " and a hand wave to dismiss the statement.

    It infuriates them lol

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    • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Ghosting, I like it!

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  • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “Ok?”

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    • 9point6@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Image

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    • Korne127@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Ok; good for you?

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  • BmeBenji@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “What kinda mileage does it get?”

    “Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

    “Can you get me some more water?”

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  • Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “I don’t get my happiness from material worth.”

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  • IndustryStandard@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “How fast does it do 0-60?”

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    • recklessengagement@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      About a minute

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      • EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        So it’s not even accurate? I’m not sure you got a quality timekeeping device for the cost.

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    • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It never gets to 60. For some odd reason it only gets to 59 and then drops back to zero.

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    • insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      And then throw it.

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  • Obnomus@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Tell him I still banged your mom tho

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  • Theprogressivist@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “Well, the jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!”

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    • blinfabian@feddit.nl ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      “What’s the difference? You’re their all-time bestseller!”

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      • Theprogressivist@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        “Oh yeah?! Well… I slept with your wife!”

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  • Clepsydrae@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Look of confusion Does…does that make you happy?

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  • JoMiran@lemmy.ml ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you’ve already lost.

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  • Console_Modder@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You see this? This is called a “smart phone.” Not only will this tell me the time like your watch, but it can also do a bunch of other things. I can look at pictures of raccoons wearing silly hats or I can use it to insult someone on the other side of the planet. It also cost a fraction of what your watch cost. I’m sorry to tell you this, but I think it should go and get your money back. It sounds like you’ve been scammed. As a matter of fact, let me give you my friend’s phone number. He’s an accountant, and I think he’ll be able to help stop you from making stupid purchases in the future.

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    • 6nk06@sh.itjust.works ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Not only will this tell me the time like your watch

      No. A cheap $100 phone is way more reliable than the most expensive Rolex thanks to NTP.

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    • JoMiran@lemmy.ml ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If you’re an astute collector, fine watches are (like art) a solid form of investment.

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      • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Prove me wrong: Fine art is a money laundering scheme.

        You get some guy who went to art school to slosh some house paint on a sheet. You then hire a white woman who dresses like Malian royalty to come describe it in contradictory adjectives “It’s subtle, yet bold” while her gay sidekick in a turtleneck flamboyantly slaps his face and gasps. Sell $20 worth of cotton and $30 worth of Valspar for $3.247 million, and you’ve just successfully covered up the sale of 94 more brown women.

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  • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “that’s so sad”

    But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn’t going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

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    • NikkiDimes@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If they’ve gone out of their way to draw attention to it, they clearly do care to some degree, whether they directly express it or not.

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      • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        There are more reasons to brag and show off than just to seek validation. Their vanity may not be dependent on you.

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