What's the deal with male loneliness?

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ComicalMayhem@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

Like, why is it so widespread, what causes it, what solutions are available, etc. I don’t really know how to ask this question so I hope I’m making sense

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orcrist@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
What exactly are you talking about? Men who feel lonely sometimes? Men without friends? Men who are not having sex?

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- abbadon420@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Men without hats?
  
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Mammothmothman@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
There is a lot of comments faulting society. But the individuals need to take personal accountability. Choosing to live online is what I see as the crux of this issue. This comes from personal experience of living online and being loney and miserable untill i started getting out and meeting people. This lonelyness “epedemic” is people not managing their screen time.

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- SoftTeeth@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Generally if there is a massive trend in society then only systemic changes will change that trend.
  
  Sure it would be nice if every incel worked out, microdosed mushrooms and became more selfless people, but that’s not something that will happen.
  
  One thing that would fix a lot of this would be the government better regulating daying apps, since that’s how the vast majority of people meet their partners now.
  
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1984@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Social media changed dating, and made it ok for both women and men to treat eachother as commodities, resources, status symbols.

This bleeds over in real life, where women don’t need/want to have relationships with men anymore in the west (outside of their love relationship). They already get all the attention they need from social media.

Some women can be cold there days and dismissive. They don’t trust men and because some men are awful, we all get the same treatment.

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- Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  
  Social media changed dating, and made it ok for both women and men to treat eachother as commodities, resources, status symbols.
  
  I stopped reading right here. Men and women have ALWAYS treated each other as commodities. Since…always. Hell, you can go back to the early 1900s before women were allowed to vote, and your wife was LITERALLY considered your property. Some cities like Kansas City even allowed you to legally beat your wife, because again, she was your property.
  
  Or you can go back even farther than that. You can go to the 1400s in England, and mothers would willingly hand over their sons to the king. Sons as young as 9 years old. And the reason was so that the king could have casual sex with your children. And this was not only accepted, but encouraged socially back then. Mothers would brag to other people in their social circles that the king chose THEIR son to fuck in the butt at 9 years old. That was like a status symbol for your family to have your kids chosen for the king’s personal sexual purposes.
  
  So yeah, social media had nothing to do with people treating other people like objects. That shits been going on probably longer than the concept of literacy and the written word.
  
  When it comes to dating, most men date for looks, most women date for status/wealth. And then people wonder why so many relationships fall apart. It’s because SO many people are just looking for the blonde girl with the biggest tits, or the doctor with the biggest paycheck.
  
  Well looks can fade, and wealth can disappear. If you marry a girl for her looks in your 20s, you’ll be bitter in your 60s. And if you marry a guy for his bank account, you’ll still be stuck with him if he gets a prenup, or goes bankrupt.
  
  Don’t date someone for what they bring to the table. Date someone for who they are as a person. Because an average looking girl who’s amazing to hang out with will still be amazing to hang out with then they’re old. And a blue collar working man may not be rich, but he’ll still give you the shirt off his back to prevent seeing you be unhappy. Even when you’re old.
  
  All these relationships I see today are just people looking to use other people, until you see the rare ones that you realize “Yeah! They’re going to last together.” Meanwhile Britney Bangs-a-lot is on her 7th marriage.
  
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LordWiggle@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I know Jordan Peterson has a lot of followers. He says it’s the women’s fault men are lonely. He says men are their victim, pictures women as evil while men should be on top. This creates an even bigger isolation and creates sex offenders.

In Japan and South Korea there are many men who are isolated because of videogames and it’s online culture. They have a relationship with a Nintendo character of AI on their phone (no joke).

Because a lot of lonely men are in the internet, it’s not a representation of the real world. Doesn’t change the fact there are many non the less.

Just because there are many different cultures access able for anyone through the internet, it’s easier to isolate yourself in such a culture. Whether it’s on reddit, 4chan, through games, forums or sm groups. But it keeps you off the streets, away from real socializing, learning to behave, how to talk to a girl, find a hobby which isn’t on your computer, meet real friends.

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- FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  
  I know Jordan Peterson has a lot of followers. He says it’s the women’s fault men are lonely
  
  Peterson has a habit of saying things that might technically be true in isolation but will then disagree with you when you try and make a conclusion from it. In this case he has also said it’s men’s fault for not making women a good enough ‘offer’.
  
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Sam_Bass@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Too much duplicitousness out there

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N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Lack of socializing. We’ve lost the third place in modern society. It’s work and home and nothing else. Lots of people work from home now, which is great, but only if you have a third place. You have to meet people in the real world and find a way to connect with them.

People laugh, but churches are a good way to do that. Check one out, sit in the back, and watch the people who show up- the demographics, make sure the congregation is diverse, etc. If you see a same-sex couple walk in and sit down like they’ve done it a hundred times, you don’t have to worry about all the hate bullshit.

Church is a great way to meet people in a place where everyone feels safe and accepted. They are extremely welcoming to newcomers. There are always activities and groups to join. Churches have been the third place for literally centuries.

Even if you have irreconcilable philosophical differences, check out a Unitarian church.

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- FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Church is not a great place for third places- unless you happen to be like all the others at that particular church.
  
  No church will actually accept you unless you’re the same as them. The “sameness” doesn’t have to be about race or orientation or accepting that.
  
  They might be totally willing to let you in the front door, but unless you conform, that won’t be for long.
  
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  - j4k3@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    I’ve never talked to anyone in a library. Have you? Generally conversations are taboo in my experience. Maybe things have changed since I was able to go to one and relax.
    
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- lordnikon@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  This is good advice but also note there are other alternatives to church that function the same way like humanist churches or the satanic temple. Note the satanic temple has nothing to do with satin and is not the same as the church of satin.
  
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kandoh@reddthat.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
There’s a multitude of reasons, my personal favourite is that men are highly aggressive sexual creatures and the stigma against homosexuality is hindering our ability to form fulfilling relationships with our male peers.

Just crack open a history book, looks like a lot of the masculine activities came with a considerable amount of gay sex. Like, it seems like the main draw of joining an army to go to war is that you can fuck a bunch of dudes the whole time you’re away on campaign.

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- Feathercrown@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Deranged take
  
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- Dogiedog64@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Bro has never met another man before SMH.
  
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- Zombiebadguy@lemmynsfw.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Dude… what the fuck???
  
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- DarkNightoftheSoul@mander.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  you poor simple bastard
  
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Coreidan@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Yes because only males can be lonely.

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MITM0@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
People simply just don’t like men

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RatzChatsubo@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Women are not putting themselves out anymore

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BigTrout75@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I would like to blame modern society but since the term “Lone Wolf” exists, I’m guessing it’s older than that.

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TachyonTele@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Asking the big questions over here. You’ll be rich if you find the answer.

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deadcatbounce@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
When you have a significant change in the population dynamic, it takes a significant time for the population not (really) effecting this change to adjust.

From my perspective as an old bloke, Women now treat relationships as transactional, men haven’t kept pace. There are obviously a number of reasons and I’m not making that statement to judge or analyse; mass change requires motivation. The motivation presented itself. Society is in the same incredible flux as when the pill became a real and common thing fifty years ago.

The risks for a man of a relationship significantly outweigh the rewards. Being aware of the overwhelming risks and deciding not to engage doesn’t stop one being lonely.

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” - Robin Williams

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Lazhward@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
youtu.be/X4sMv7zs4m4

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