Final wish: You can never leave the lamp again.
They were lucky Aladdin was such a cool dude
Submitted 8 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website to [deleted]
https://startrek.website/pictrs/image/1e154b70-ea0b-4cc3-98a7-35a916730141.png
Comments
Dasnap@lemmy.world 8 months ago
son_named_bort@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Final wish: Increase childhood cancer by 500%.
cooopsspace@infosec.pub 8 months ago
You sick fuck.
Take your up arrow.
Moc@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Climate change solved?
GBU_28@lemm.ee 8 months ago
1st wish: bring all insects together into one mega organism blob that slowly traverses the earth consuming anything it touches
driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 8 months ago
Make bedbugs immune to insecticides.
Bedbugs now fly.
PM_ME_FEET_PICS@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Just a FYI, most bed bugs are immune to insecticides already.
Tests and studies have shown that insecticides work as well as water for killing bed bugs. 25% kill rate and lowering each year.
The best tool against bed bugs is heat (Steam cleaner) or Diatomaceous Earth.
_stranger_@lemmy.world 8 months ago
cancel update CANCEL UPDATE
TheLameSauce@lemmy.world 8 months ago
So Nausicaä?
Happenchance@lemmy.world 8 months ago
“All bugs are now the size of dogs.”
Jax@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I think that just results in billions of dog sized bugs being dead no? Isn’t it a lack of available oxygen in the air that keeps their size down?
Granted, every flying insect becoming as large as a dog and plummeting to the Earth instantly would be fucking horrifying.
ryathal@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
All yards become massive piles of dead dogs erupting everywhere from the ground.
RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
“I’ma boutta singlehandedly bring the worldwide prices for gasoline and ammo up a cent.”
killeronthecorner@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Final wish, multiply every bank balance by 0.5
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 8 months ago
Would this one unintentionally help reduce wealth disparity?
Vlyn@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
By a lot! It would also cut every overdrawn bank account by half :)
Unfortunately it’s just “bank balance”, so actual debts outside of that wouldn’t be touched.
explodicle@local106.com 8 months ago
It would get worse. Cash reserves are for working class people; the rich mostly hold stocks which appreciate over time.
key@lemmy.keychat.org 8 months ago
To the power of 0.5 would be better
RedReaper@infosec.pub 8 months ago
Multiply bank balances by current balance/$1000000
SamboT@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Divide every bank balance by zero
GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 8 months ago
That’s just a fancy way of saying “cut in half”.
potpotato@artemis.camp 8 months ago
That’s just a fancy way of saying “halve.”
Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
GreenMario@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Third wish: raise avg world temp by 5C.
Brekky@lemmy.world 8 months ago
How do we know that’s not what happened to Trump?
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 8 months ago
He would have lost focus babbling halfway through his first wish and never reached a coherent request.
TootSweet@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Accelerationism intensifies.
MrTulip@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
Give everyone tastebuds in their anus.
w00tabaga@lemm.ee 8 months ago
What if I put my tastebuds in someone else’s anus?
PR3CiSiON@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It’s 2023. Have you not done that yet?
QuinceDaPence@kbin.social 8 months ago
Of course I know the taste buds in my colon (TBIMC) can never be cured, but my doctor told me that with proper diet and excercise and Poisantin, my TBIMC could be monitored, putting me in control of the size and sensitivity of the taste buds in my colon.
starman2112@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Third wish: we hit 2 degrees ten years ahead of schedule
thorbot@lemmy.world 8 months ago
First wish: all humans turn blue for 24 hours after masturbating
Second wish: reverse all human digestive tracts so food goes into anus and excretion comes out of mouth, trump style
Third wish: reproductive organs are all removed and humans mate by doing The Polka for 6 consecutive hours.
Love, Satan
w00tabaga@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Third kind of makes the first one pointless. Unless that is, you consider the Polka masturbation.
djsoren19@yiffit.net 8 months ago
You still feel horny urges, but baby can only be created via intense accordion action. It’d be a real blessing, the most effective form of contraceptive available.
thorbot@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Notice how I said reproduction specifically. You could still pleasure yourself
oolio@feddit.de 8 months ago
Do you masturbate to reproduce?
Seventhlevin@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Shit damn. I can’t masturbate OR polka without turning blue? That really is diabolical.
Shush@reddthat.com 8 months ago
Funnily enough, the third wish is actually one of the most positive things that can happen here.
Now people will fuck each other all day without having to worry about getting pregnant. No pills, no implants, no hormone. It’s just good ol’ pleasure now.
azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I’m blue, da ba dee da ba di