Yeah. I'm on the spectrum alright

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• Sam_Bass@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  Can’t get spectrum out here. All the nodes look like they’d been tractored

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• M137@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  0.0001% of spiders are cute, and even those only in some photos/videos. The rest make my bones itch and my soul pucker.

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• TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  If you really want “beast of Satan” territory (imo, Poltys are just very cryptic):

  • For behavior, I’m going to appeal to the Brazilian wandering spider which is extremely aggressive, likes to hide in human living spaces, is mobile, and is severely venomous (including causing a painful priapism).
  • For prey, going with the Goliath birdeater. I think tarantulas are cute, but this one has the legspan of a fucking dinner plate, weighs up to like a 1/5 of a kilo, has a massive body, has 5 cm fangs, and is large enough to prey on small terrestrial vertebrates.
  • For sheer vibes, going with the giant huntsman spider. It lives in caves in Laos, has a legspan of up to 30 cm like the Goliath birdeater (but proportionally smaller body, amplifying the creepiness), was only discovered in 2001 despite being so huge, and as a huntsman is probably fast as fuck. Unsure about the venom; I’ve never researched it.

  Not putting any of these images here in case anyone’s arachnophobic. Exposure therapy only works if you build yourself up to it, and I don’t want anybody to miss out on a chance to come to appreciate spiders.

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  • TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    For USAians, a fifth of a kilogram is 200 grams, about two quarter pounder burgers.

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  • confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’ve seen a massive huntsman spider in Australia. I was trimming palm fronds with a saw on an extended pole and one palm frond hit the tree trunk on the way down. The huntsman managed to safety land on the tree trunk while the frond fell to the ground.

    That spider was way bigger than my hand and demonically fast. Was super cool to see such a big one.

    It’s nice that they are generally chill around people. I had a much smaller one living in my room’s air conditioning unit. It always came out at night and chilled on the wall while I slept and disappeared during the day.

    I never handled a huntsman but I was never really bothered by them during my time in Australia.

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    • Zerush@lemmy.ml ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Depends

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  • GreatTitEnthusiast@mander.xyz ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    TIL we eat Goliath Bird Eating Spiders and they taste like shrimp

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    • MotoAsh@piefed.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Who is this ‘we’?

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  • panda_abyss@lemmy.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Huntsman venom is paralytic and wouldn’t kill you if bitten. The giant huntsman reportedly will just make you nauseous and leave a painful and swollen bite. 

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• stupidcasey@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Is the left really cute? It looks like an uncanny abomination with human bate on its head like an angler fish

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  • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca ⁨49⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    go away, bating

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  • lowleveldata@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Can’t tell me those big eyes ain’t cute

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• Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Ok, but look at that derpy face of the twig spider!!
  ![](…com.au/…/poltys-sp-twig-spider-narara-nsw-202211…

  And that tall butt situation!
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  • new_world_odor@lemmy.world ⁨59⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    What a unique looking lil guy, wow! I am terrified of spiders except for the jumpers (fat stubby legs so cute), and apparently this guy! It looks so different from any spider I’ve seen before. Very neat.

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  • kamenlady@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    They make the traditional Spider-Man web

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• SlurpingPus@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  The left side should be one of them European house spiders, which look like this, are a couple centimeters in size, and are completely harmless. I might have some in my apartment, at least I see them from time to time. I know they put up a little web in the upper corners of the room, but that doesn’t seem effective.

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  • EncryptKeeper@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Yeah fuck no. Left side should only be a jumping spider lol

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• BroBot9000@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  What kind is the one on the right? Never seen a spider like that before.

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  • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Looks like a species from the genus Poltys.

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    • Sunshine@piefed.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Definitely on the things to watch out for when visiting Asia, Africa and Oceania.

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    • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I think it’s the wiki/Poltys_columnaris.

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• hessenjunge@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I get the choice re the optics. Still I’d put a camel spider or a Sydney funnel-web spider on the right.

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• Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Be a stoat Satan?

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• TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Be a St (saint) of Satan?

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