In the US one can graduate *cum laude, magna cum laude, and summa cum laude*. There should be another honor added if you survive a school shooting.

Comments

• Manjushri@piefed.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  .357 Magnum cum laude.

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  • homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Dang. Missed it by . . . 6 hours.

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• rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Isn’t that just graduating?

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  • TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    if being part of the state requires mandatory public schooling and that mandatory participation has changed in 40 years to become more violent and blodly, then those honors need to be spoken to at graduation.

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    • rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I was just making a joke about how common school shootings tragically are ✌️

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    • A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I believe that they were joking that nearly every student survives one

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  • Gullible@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    We really do live in a manifestation of south park

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    • MotoAsh@piefed.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You have it backwards. Southpark is a parody of real life. It was always meant to share lots of correlation. It’s literally made to.

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• db2@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  traumata cum laude

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• RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  That’s a lot of cum

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  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Bukkake cum latte.

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    • SippyCup@lemmy.ml ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      The barista would still spell my fuckin name wrong

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• Pronell@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I was at my wife’s work holiday party last night.

  They had a clever icebreaker bingo game with facts about the attendees. One person’s was “survived three school shootings.” I found her and got a bingo. The prize was a $10 doordash gift card.

  Lame prize, great game idea. Terrible that this has happened to her but she’s a bright and cheerful woman.

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  • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I had an icebreaker event at like a new employee orientation thing where we did two truths and a lie.

    One person said “I have cancer”. That turned out to be her lie.

    Who the fuck lies about that? Like everyone knows someone who has or had (and possibly lost to) cancer. That’s in incredibly bad taste. There’s morbid humor and then there’s…something else.

    She didn’t last long there.

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  • bradorsomething@ttrpg.network ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    She probably has a great serpentine, too.

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• yesman@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I think graduation ceremonies should include a speech from the lowest ranked graduate. Let’s hear from both sides.

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  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    “WOOOOOOO!!! I AIN’T GOTTA GO TO SCHOOL NO MOE! GONNA SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!”

    Half the audience nods. The other half shakes their head in disapproval.

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    • DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      and the chill people yell “hell yeah”

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• ramenshaman@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I always cum pretty laude

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• MrFinnbean@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Ammo cum laude

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• TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  cum proelium, mange cum proelium, and summa cum proelium

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  • No_Eponym@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Would battle be right? I don’t know if people are fighting back in shootings. I think it would be to run away, per “Pumped Up Kicks” so

    cum fuga, magna cum fuga, maxima cum fuga?

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    • ytg@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Maybe impetus

      cum impetu, magno cum impetu, summo cum impetu

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    • Tangent5280@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      People are definitely fighting back, not all of them, but there are fighters.

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• Atlas_@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Gun laude?

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  • _g_be@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Yes guns are loud, they already know

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• bradorsomething@ttrpg.network ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Look we have enough participation trophies, we don’t want to bog down the ceremonies with another 400 awards. Also some of these people will be limping, possibly in wheelchairs. And god forbid we have a shooting at the event and we didn’t bring enough medals.

  I kinda feel like this is sarcasm but I’m not even sure any more. How did we get here?

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• U7826391786239@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  the problem is obviously we don’t have enough guns and we don’t have enough mandatory jesus.

  if every american literature 1, transitions math, and concert band teacher were packing a tec-9 (at minimum), AND forced bible study jesus sundayschool everyday school was facefucked into every student everywhere, then there would be no such thing as school shootings. problem solved.

  fucking /s

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  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Take the /s away, and you have summerized all of Florida.

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    • bradorsomething@ttrpg.network ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Sir, where is the meth.

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• eezeebee@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Please mark this NSFW

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• specialseaweed@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  well this one’s a bummer. here’s your upvote.

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• Electric_Druid@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Semi-auto cum laude

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