When I get rich, I’m going to start washing my ass. Shit is going to be pristine. I’ll be able to get within inches of you and you’ll never even smell it.
rich
Submitted 1 day ago by SSUPII@sopuli.xyz to [deleted]
https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/a929e980-42b2-47aa-ba2c-5fff89117de9.webp
Comments
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 day ago
HKPiax@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Believe it or not, you can still do it while not being rich
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 day ago
But it feels wasteful to be wiping my ass with all this money when I could finally buy food.
idunnololz@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Oh yeah? Where are your peer reviewed papers saying so. /s
DrCake@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’d buy a private island so that I never had to wipe again, but each to their own…
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Notyou@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
Bidets aren’t expensive and they are easy enough for me to install it in my apartment. Be the change you want to be.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 48 minutes ago
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Something I learned a long time ago: I should never, no matter the circumstances, be trusted with large sums of money.
I once came into a substantial amount of money via an insurance settlement. Did I invest it? Pay off debts? Create a rainy day fund? HA! Gambling, drugs, hookers, drugs for the hookers…I lived like Caligula for almost two years. Debauchery was my middle name. And if I ever came into money like that again, I’d do the exact same thing, because it was fucking awesome!
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 1 day ago
You were just helping the economy by not hoarding it. If more billionaires actually spent their money, things wouldn’t be as bad as they are.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
commiunism@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 hours ago
it’s called material conditions sweaty, you wouldn’t get it
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 22 hours ago
My 🥭 is to 💥 and then 🤷♂️🙋🙋♀️
porksnort@slrpnk.net 20 hours ago
I must be so old.
“My mango is to explode then <shrug> next question?”
shalafi@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Learned in psychology class that people change when coming into money or power. No one reading this is exempt. People feel that laws and norms no longer apply to them. Being a middle-aged white guy is my “power”. I ignore laws, nearly every day, that I wouldn’t dare break if I were black or younger.
Can’t remember the story, but a reporter was asking Hilary Clinton why she voted for $thing to be banned when she was actively doing $thing. Again, I’m forgetting the response, but she was a bit taken aback, “But that doesn’t apply to me.” College-age Hilary would not have acted like that.
AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social 23 hours ago
I have seen that play out almost in real time with a friend’s girlfriend. He has money, but he grew up poor. She has no money of her own, doesn’t work, doesn’t contribute in any way to society. She also comes from poor background. And yet ever since she’s gotten cozy with his money—getting clothes, new laptops, phones, jewelry, traveling—she started sounding like a bitch. Shitting on other working class people while riding on the money she did not earn. It’s absolutely wild to me.
ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Someone please help me what’s that comic where one person is asked what they’re going to do with their newly found wealth and the guy is like “I’m going to have sex with children”? I don’t want to type these words into a search engine
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 16 hours ago
titanicx@lemmy.zip 21 hours ago
That was just posted here like a week ago I think.
daannii@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
“My main goal is to blow up and then act like I don’t know nobody”.
I can’t recall the author of such an astute remark.
I do recall making my own version in relation to going to the local county fair.
“My main goal is to get a funnel cake and not share it with nobody”.
Cause people always be like "let me have a bite. ". No. It’s mine. Fuck off. Go stand in line for 15 min in direct sunlight.
ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
I’m too proud to let money change me, that’s for hedonists and insecure men of poor character. 😤
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 8 hours ago
I’d love to let money have a chance to change me, though I do identify as a hedonist and a silly man of poor character.
aviationeast@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Build my own theme park with black jack and hookers.
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 8 hours ago
That’s just a casino. You could just buy one of those.
titanicx@lemmy.zip 21 hours ago
I would never stoop to these things. When I’m rich.
I’m middle class and I already do some of these…
BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 28 minutes ago
I would move to a safe country, build a safety net for my kids and grandkids, and then give the rest away to food banks, low income housing organizations, those kinds of things.