297
I'd choose 4 tbh
Submitted 10 months ago by kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/a3a28824-4ce3-463d-8989-e7b7162cdb12.jpeg
Comments
desktop_user@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
No more fat? Like, for me or for the entire world? Because that’s terrifying either way. I’d die within minutes in either case.
20cello@lemmy.world 10 months ago
5,6
Aeri@lemmy.world 10 months ago
2-5-9 are the only ones that make sense. Unless you’re like, currently obese.
Stop shopping? How will that benefit you, does that mean you’re locked out of getting new stuff forever? I don’t care if I’m 5cm taller, 6 seems like some kind of fucked up curse because it could limit your emotional spectrum.
Fame can kind of suck, and I don’t have any ex lovers…
Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 months ago
With 5, 7 and 9 I could start a cult.
mcmodknower@programming.dev 10 months ago
Only 9, the rest are useless/bad for me. 1 and 2 are nearly the same, and not a thing i have a problem with. 3 idk what the benifit of it should be. 4 i am tall enough. 5 would be nice sometimes, but at other times it would only cause you to break things. 6 it would be bad to not be able to cry in bad situations, as these are also part of life. 7 i don’t need publicity 8 i don’t have an ex 9 you can do a lot with money in this world
MuskyMelon@lemmy.world 10 months ago
2, 5, 9
BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Revenge of the MonkeyPaw:
1 you are allergic to eating fat and can no longer eat any fat whatsoever.
2 your body has lost its ability to process nutrients, making you starve to death.
3 you’re banned from every store on earth.
4 only your neck gets 5cm longer.
5 but only in your dreams.
6 you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy.
7 and you’re awaiting your trial as you’re a KKK NeoNazi kult leader.
8 you get Alzheimer’s disease.
9 but you cannot access it because the government froze your account due to being investigated in a money laundering scheme.
JiminaMann@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Ah yes my favourite trend of monkey paw: removing the fking benefit instead of giving side effects, while making things worse
BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Oh, right! The monkey paw does it to someone else most of the time, like “you get the money but someone else dies and the money is compensation or inheritance”
terraborra@lemmy.nz 10 months ago
6 has unintended consequences. Always happy? At a funeral for a loved one? No thanks, I want to feel their passing properly.
I’d be fine with just 2. Possibly not good for the heart or liver though.
Pudutr0n@feddit.cl 10 months ago
Only need 6.
HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Ah, the simple bare necessities!
Pudutr0n@feddit.cl 10 months ago
Yep. No need for anything else really.
KindnessIsPunk@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
The only one I could use would be 5.
If I had to pick 4, 5, 9: and donate the money.
mosiacmango@lemm.ee 10 months ago
1 & 2 are the pill, unless 2 also stops you from putting on muscle mass. That or “no more fat” taken too literally will just kill you, as humans need at least 4-5% body fat to live.
tiramichu@lemm.ee 10 months ago
The way 2. is written is basically a death sentence.
What they presumably meant is “never exceed your ideal weight no matter how much you eat”
vrighter@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
1 and 2 are definitely not the same
Xanis@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Super strong likely means mass and/or density, which means more calories needed to maintain. Unless it’s some magic. Either way, that and money means you can eat until you’re happy. The only two pills I’d want out of those given.
BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
I prefer being the monkey paw in these scenarios. Way more fun and you can be creative.
HerrVorragend@lemmy.world 10 months ago
2, 6, 9
GuyFawkes@midwest.social 10 months ago
Skinny, happy, and rich - perfect combo!
TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 10 months ago
5,6,9 easy.
Some are void if you are always happy.
frog@feddit.uk 10 months ago
I think 5 and 9.
i don’t really want the rest.
tobis@lemm.ee 10 months ago
5 could monkey’s paw kill you like most of the rest of these. I think 4 8 and 9 are your best bet if you have to pick 3 and you want to survive.
Gutek8134@lemmy.world 10 months ago
5 only says you gain strength, controlling it may be a difficult task
Stovetop@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Agreed, those are my only two choices as well.
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I feel like the first two are basically the same thing and are also asking for a monkey’s paw sort of scenario to happen.
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I don’t want to stop shopping because there are things I want that can’t be obtained for free.
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I’m not the tallest, but I don’t feel any particular need to be any taller.
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I don’t want my emotions regulated to always be happy, because then you basically never truly are.
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Followers are overrated and creepy.
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And I’d never want to forget an ex because I’d end up losing a lot of good memories in the process.
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SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
6, 8, 9 easy call
FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
That is by far the shittiest version of the “which pill/superpower/xyz ?” that I’ve seen.
“No more fat”, “Have many followers” and fucking “Increase 5cm height” nearly gave me an aneurysm. This meme is a good pick for the community.
redwattlebird@lemmings.world 10 months ago
Hey now… I’d totally take the extra 5cm. Maybe 15cm.
FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
I would, too. It’s just… At least write something like “increase own height by 5cm”.
Valmond@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Yeah what does even “no more fat” means? You can’t eat fat any more? Or all the fat is removed from you (which would kill you)?
Also, get me a -5cm height for my 198cm, that would be perfect.
Rusty@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
It means that all your hard drives would be converted to NTFS from FAT32
white_nrdy@programming.dev 10 months ago
203cm clocking in, and I completely agree with you
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
I think “many followers” means being famous?
And the “increase 5cm” has a strategic new line. I thought for about 0.3 seconds that a rude had snuck in.
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 10 months ago
No, many followers really means that. It also implies that you’ll need a much larger bathroom.