Submitted 2 months ago by BrikoX@lemmy.zip to globalnews@lemmy.zip
Harsher sentences will also apply to bosses of online stores who let under-18s buy deadly weapons in Home Office crackdown
Archived version: archive.is/…/jeff-bezos-could-face-prison-amazon-…
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Billionaires don’t go to prison, silly. Billionaires are above the law.
But not above a guillotine
There is this one country where they’re not above the law 🇨🇳
But billionaires are below the blade of the guillotine
Billionaires are the law
lol like hell he will. The oligarchs are clearly in control of the US
I don’t think we should be posting such pornographic fictions in this community.
that’s a pardoning
That’s an appointment to a cabinet position.
Chief Secretary of Knife Sales to Minors
As an American: lol. Lmao even. The European mind cannot comprehend American laws
I can’t help but picture some stereotypical British street urchin child (think Oliver Twist) buying a knife from Amazon.
And the avatar for Amazon just carelessly hands a child a long jagged grooved blade that serves no apparent purpose but gleeful murder
I’ll bark like a dog for 7days if he spent even a single day in jail
Also, I will surely wake up in the morning with 60 billion dollars in my bank account
😂 the telegraph with the hottest out of touch take of the year.
0.00000000000% Chance.
He’d buy the Judge, the Jury, the Courthouse, The News.
More likely, it’ll become retroactively legal to sell katanas to newborns.
He doesn’t have to. He already paid off Trump, who will pardon him.
Ok, yeah, I’m sure this is what will finally send him to prisons. 😂
Could, but won’t. At most he’d pay a fine that would be nothing but pocket change to him.
Harsher sentences will also apply to bosses of online stores who let under-18s buy
deadly weaponssilverware in Home Office crackdown
FTFY.
UK politics is its own brand of out there
Americans give guns to their kids and let them play with pit bulls. This wouldn’t mean a thing to them.
Shyeeah,. When monkeys fly out of my butt.
Sure he could, sure…
Pigs can fly and penguins can walk on lava.
I would be fucking ASTOUNDED if this happened.
Does this mean online knife stores are gonna start carding?
He could legit murder a kid with one of those knives and not serve a single day 😂
Can we get a real publication instead of this fantastical comic book?
I’m pretty sure he paid millions to Trump to prevent prison
Let’s hope so
greenshirtdenimjeans@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Do you think the author typed that headline with a straight face?
WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 2 months ago
This headline is so far from reality it should be institutionalized as a danger to itself and society.
nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Odds are actually less than a meteorite randomly killing him , and those odds are literally astronomical.