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• balderdash9@lemmy.zip ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  This is the type of shit I wish I was creative enough to come up with

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• Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Good news is that by dumping teratons of CO2 into the atmosphere we're changing the spectroscopic signature in a way that makes it clear that we're intelligent life that needs a some help.

  Bad news is that it might also kill us before they get here.

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  • awwwyissss@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I never thought about that before. Benevolent aliens coming to help us… who knows.

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• fl42v@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  (wontfix)

  issue closed

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• rustyfish@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  No, no you can’t. We turn the oceans into acid and are collectively one torn paper bag away from starting a nuclear war.

  Best you can do is containing the amalgamation of insanity called mankind on this planet. Because if we make it off this world, we will probably hunt you down for fun.

  You have been warned.

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• ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Sterilize it is … pushes button for planetary sterilization radiation beam

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  • samus12345@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Nuke the planet from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

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• nifty@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I’ve played too much XCOM to know how this really turns out.

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  • zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    So 95% chance it turns out really really well.

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    • Tangent5280@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      SO WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEE

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• ringwraithfish@startrek.website ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Humanity would absolutely be the abuser in this toxic relationship

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• eran_morad@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  We need the Vulcans.

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• SomeGuy69@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Please fix me alien mommy

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• EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Dat closing double-quote though…

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• SpicyLizards@reddthat.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Please, we can’t do it by ourselves (because mega-important money)

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• Etterra@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I for one welcome our benevolent and generous alien overlords.

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• Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  A possibly interesting read would be about aliens who bring a cure for all illness, but unknown to use it also cures people of the need to get ahead of thier fellow human at all costs. Thus they stabilize the human race which then stabilizes the planet…

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  • Rinn@literature.cafe ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Something kind of adjacent to this happens in Octavia Butler’s Xenogenesis series. Aliens come over to fix the Earth and humanity, but decide that human nature is part of the problem, and set out to modify it. It’s a really interesting read.

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• Death_Equity@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I think by “fix”, they don’t mean repair, but it would help.

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• Fizz@lemmy.nz ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  We about to fuck up that aliens life.

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• DestroyerOfWorlds@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “We started years ago with anal probes and now they seem to do it to themselves all the time. Now for Phase 2…”

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• Gilles_D@feddit.de ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  It’s referring to the whales. And no, it doesn’t look good for humans.

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  • cm0002@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Aliens: “As your punishment for what you did to the whales, your species will be enslaved according to Galactic Enslavement Code. You will ONLY be allotted Housing, Healthcare, Food an-”

    Humans: “OH FUCKING FINALLY”

    Aliens: “Wut”

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• VampyreOfNazareth@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I enjoy BBQ grey.

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• Siegfried@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Fix earth or mankind? Cause the solutions would be a little different

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