How do yall go about meeting new people while still maintaining a decent level of privacy?

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨MagneticFusion@lemm.ee⁩ to ⁨privacyguides@lemmy.one⁩

I am soon moving out for university and am going to meet a bunch of new folks. But I was wondering how do you go about approaching this with privacy in mind?

It is a little bit whonky to ask someone you just met to download Signal, if it is a group of people then it is more acceptable, or like how do you keep in contact if they don’t use any of the messaging platforms you use such as Signal and Telegram, and if you don’t use any of the ones they use such as Whatsapp or Instagram DMs (yes zoomers in the US use these) or Snapchat? Do you just use SMS where videos are absolute shit quality and you have no privacy there either?

Let me know how you deal with this issue.

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sj_zero ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Meet people in real life doing real life things.

That's not just better for privacy, it's better for your life.

It's harder, but no amount of followers on twitter will help you move a couch.
- angrystego@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  OP’s asking about the kind of communication that is needed from time to time to, for example, arrange a real-life meeting. They’re not talking about social networks.
  
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- RustedSwitch@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Do hobbies! Cooking classes! Join clubs!
  
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  - angrystego@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    And that might very well be exactly what OP is planning to do. They’re not asking us how to spend their time properly, they’re asking how to communicate with people on longer distance. Sometimes you need to let your friends know that the cooking class was cancelled or there’s a new club you all could join. Your friends are not aroud you all the time. Using apps like Whatsapp or Telegram is more efficient than calling each one separately and offers the possibility of group communication. It’s perfectly fine to use it for your friends group and it doesn’t mean you have no real life.
    
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- captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  And enjoy it while it lasts because no amount of 30 year olds will either
  
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  - NightAuthor@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    I guess this makes sense, even as a kid I was told I was such an adult. So I guess as a 30yo I’m actually more like a 45yo.
    
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Coreidan@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
What are you doing with these people where such high level of privacy is required? Like I totally get wanting privacy but you’re being overly extreme.

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- ISOmorph@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Not wanting to use apps that are profiling you and your devices isn’t a high level of privacy or being extreme though. It’s just being a normal person.
  
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  - amio@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    That's not a common idea of what's "normal", no. And I don't mean anything bad by that - people give so few shits about privacy/security it's ridiculous, and I empathize with that, but it is what it is. The point of the thread is that OP's reluctance to use all the data stealer apps is isolating them to some degree, or at least requiring significant workarounds.
    
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aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
You’re going to have to use what people around you use. Weather it’s Whatsapp, Instagram groups, whatever

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pranqster@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
As Moxie Marlinspike once said, the fine line between facism and social democracy is choice. In order to exist in certain social groups, you have to expand your scope of choice to be able participate in society. In my experience using TextSecure/Signal for a decade and having convinced all of my friends/immediate family/significant others to use it, the majority of new people that I have encountered even with Signal installed on their phones, do not use it. It’s unfortunate, but most people only care about privacy to a certain degree, if at all. What I usually do is bite the bullet with SMS for a bit. If things are going somewhere, I eventually convince them onto Signal. If things don’t pan out, then not too much damage done.

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spacecowboy@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Carrier pigeons. I haven’t gotten a response back in ages though.

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- ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Sorry. They are delicious, though.
  
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variants@possumpat.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
I’d just sms until you get to know someone better and can lightly convince them to use something like signal or they convince you to use whatever. You still need to live your life

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Extrasvhx9he@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
I made a separate user peofile just for my social pwas since I use grapheneos. They’ll probably use discord or whatsapp so treat it like a public forum, stick with alias emails, fake info when creating, an always on vpn, and within a browser thats has privacy hardened features. If they want to talk more privately like through direct messaging and you trust them then try to convert them to signal otherwise simplex works too if you dont trust them with your personal phone number

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ReversedCookie@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Don’t use Telegram for Privacy.

This video explains very well why:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtRQKQkvUfE

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- PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks [bot] ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtRQKQkvUfE
  
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  
  I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
  
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brygphilomena@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Privacy is layered based on your threat model.

Sms isn’t going to track you like some apps and while the content isnt encrypted by default it’s not an issue if the information isn’t secure.

More interesting conversations can be over signal and you can convince people overtime to switch.

Each method of communication can be viable depending on the situation.

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apparentlymacaroni@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
I use Shelter to sandbox whatsapp and facebook messenger. They can probably still track me, but hopefully less.

f-droid.org/en/packages/net.typeblog.shelter/

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- manapropos@lemmy.basedcount.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Man I regret buying an iPhone out of curiosity. I’m in Mexico and everyone uses whatsapp here
  
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glacier@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Ultimately you will have to make some concessions in regards to privacy. Most people aren’t going to install Signal just to talk to you because it does not fit their use case.

I’m also gen z and from the US, I go to university, and most people who I know use Whatsapp or Discord to communicate. While Whatsapp is not perfect, their messages are end-to-end encrypted, which is much better than most other mainstream platforms (I would honestly say that it is better than Telegram). Discord can at least be accessed through a browser with an email alias.

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- ripe_banana@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  I think this is the most real answer. It kinda is all about tradeoffs.
  
  If creating connections is more valuable to you than using some unsavory social media, then you have your answer.
  
  I also think it is pretty hard to actually reduce identifying informatiom from these apps. Just based on your social network, the piece can be fitted. In addition, your college gives up a ton of your identifying info (gmail, contracted apps…). I’m not sure there are perfect answers.
  
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Melody@lemmy.one ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
I’m going to quote another comment but not ping them; I don’t want to argue with them; but instead provide counterpoints for the OP to consider.

Most people aren’t going to install Signal just to talk to you because it does not fit their use case.

This is false. While it does take more effort; it can be achieved. I can compose an SMS with an install link for the appropriate app-store and in-person assist you and tell you my ID on my privacy respecting apps of choice. Bluetooth transfers and QR codes also work too; so we can exchange other contact details as well.

I’m also gen z and from the US, I go to university, and most people who I know use Whatsapp or Discord to communicate.

Telegram is far superior to Whatsapp and close to Discord in features. Your generation is capable of using it; I see Gen Z on there all the time. Signal closely mimics iMessage in features; and it’s available on both Android and iOS.

Bonus for the privacy-conscious; It has better privacy and cryptography. MProto isn’t the most respected but it’s sufficient for most day-to-day conversations.

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- Infiltrated_ad8271@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  
  Bonus for the privacy-conscious; It has better privacy and cryptography.
  
  This is very questionable, but it should be mentioned that it is radically worse if you do not use "secret chats" (less convenient), since the normal ones do not have end-to-end encryption.
  
  PS: It's quite bizarre to answer directly to someone to discredit, but without giving the opportunity to refute...
  
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  - Melody@lemmy.one ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    
    PS: It’s quite bizarre to answer directly to someone to discredit, but without giving the opportunity to refute…
    
    It’s called not being a toxic reply guy. You should try it.
    
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- Gutless2615@ttrpg.network ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Telegram is absolutely not vastly better than WhatsApp. Open Whisper Systems literally built the E2EE in WhatsApp. It’s imo lengthening of OTR predates signal. Telegram insists on rolling their own crypto and it’s closed source. I think OP can and should try to get friends into Signal. But WhatsApp I’is almost certainly the answer to the OP. It offers well implemented proven off the record, E2EE communications, it’s widely adopted, cross platform. It’s miles better than SMS and Facebook or Instagram messenger or Snapchat. OP is looking for the best compromise, WhatsApp is it.
  
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NightOwl@lemmy.one ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Lineagos run on an old Android phone with Aurora store to install and update play store apps. I just turn on the work profile when I check in and messages then turn it off. And it’s not my main phone either so consequence is that I won’t be instantly available, so ends up being more like email in terms of time it takes me to respond back. But, I am at least available on the preferred ways people want to communicate.

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Poutinetown@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
Whatsapp is end-to-end encrypted

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- GigglyBobble@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  They asked about privacy, not security. WhatsApp is profiling you.
  
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  - Poutinetown@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    Except it is more private than alternatives like Instagram DMs and FB Messenger (ironically all by the same company), which are not e2ee.
    
    @glacier’s response pretty much covers it all, and it’s confirmed in the Whatsapp Faq.
    
    Sure, they could find out who you are based on someone who added you as contact. But if you don’t have a FB account, or don’t use your real name there, all they’ll know is that you have a WhatsApp account, but won’t see your messages, unless someone reports your messages. Sure, that’s not as great as Signal, but much better than Discord/Slack/Snapchat/etc.
    
    There’s also the issue of trust. Can we trust Whatsapp when they claim it’s e2ee? There’s no way to verify, but the same can be said for other OSS alternatives; for instance, telegram servers are not open source and the client you download might not be the one you see on GitHub., So there’s no guarantee your private key is not sent to the server at any point.
    
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Sylph@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
I almost feel like you are asking the wrong question - and - looking about this the wrong way. How do you meet folks with privacy in mind? The TL:DR answer is that you can’t. The more thorough answer is:

I use different numbers for different tasks. The same goes for social media and apps. I have dirty cell phones, dirty numbers, and clean numbers, and they are each labeled so I know which one is used for what purposes. I reply within a few hours to days. Those who want to graduate to more personal responses know the correct medium to speak to me on, though, it might surprise you to know that apps are not my go to for security.

I have found most people themselves not only aren’t friends, but are an insecure channel. Not only do most not care about privacy themselves, but most cannot be trusted with my private thoughts and information. As a result, I have learned to partition thoughts I want to keep private, from the carefully crafted personas I project into the world - we all “wear a mask” just some of us wear our hearts on our sleeves more than others. We all long for someone we could talk freely and uninhibited with, who we could let see our real self, as we sort out our thoughts and our ideas. But the truth is, most of the things I have shared with people I thought were my friends in confidence, has been shared with someone else. People themselves are a privacy leak. From the pictures they take, to the stories they share, nothing you say to them is private, even if you ask it to be. As a result. I view people the same way I view WhatsApp and Gmail, an Insecure App. Vulnerable to social engineering and gossip.

I now judge how close we are as friends, based on how much do I trust them to receive my unfiltered thoughts, or are we still at the level of - if I would not stand up in say it in a public square or at a local restaurant, I am not going to say it here. 99% of my friends as much as I value and care for them, are different layers of public square level friends, and the 1% that aren’t, know exactly where to meet me to talk. Hint, hint, the 1% is my dog.

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