Am I right to be afraid of germs / is my family disgusting or am I overreacting and this is germaphobia? (read post)

Submitted ⁨⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

So my parents take the trash can and put it TOUCHING the table where you put food… in order to clear the table, and sometimes they FORGET TO WASH THEIR HANDS after TOUCHING THE TRASH CAN and then start touching other stuff… sometimes even cooking stuff…

one time I even saw the trash can ON TOP OF THE FUCKING TABLE so its supposedly easier to put the stuff into the teash can…

And even if they wash their hands… they often times (most of the time) DO NOT USE SOAP…

Sometimes they take the trash can and move it around to collect trash WHILE INGREDIENTS ARE LYING AROUND… like what if you accidentally stuff from the trash can just like… hops over the gap and contaminate stuff?

Like dont fucking get the trash can so close to food FFS

Also they sometimes (VERY OFTEN) don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom… I hear them touching the bathroom lids…

Also they put used toilet paper in a trash can…

sometimes I hears mom touch that trash can withou t washing hands…

My parents tell me I’m being germophobic…

I’m not crazy am I?

Is this just how most people life?

The fuck?

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Comments

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scarabic@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
It does sound like they are careless but you also sound a little reactive. The thinking I see in your post goes like this:

a thing is either wholly corrupted or wholly pure

corrruption spread from whole thing to home thing by touch

It’s kind of a “cooties” mentality. The trash can? Wholly corrupted! It’s trash! And it touched the table now so the table is wholly corrupted! The table is where you eat!! It’s exactly the same thing as eating trash!!

It’s not. Truth is that the ideal is somewhere between sterility and filth. Sterility is not healthy to grow up in, nor is filth. Sterility may be preferable to filth, but that doesn’t make it ideal.

How clean does a thing actually need to be? This is always my question. Am I serving my soaghetti straight onto the tabletop? No, it’s on a plate. So do I care if something touches the edge of the table? No.

Spare yourself the anxiety of pursuing an ideal that isn’t even healthy.
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neatchee@piefed.social ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
So, based on your description and the pictures, here’s my take:

Your family is unhygienic and gross. Water leaking from surfaces can pick up all sorts of gross stuff. Leaving food waste (I see banana peels I think?) out and exposed to open air leads to rotting and mold which can definitely make you sick. Used toilet paper with fecal matter on it left in an open trash can? HELLA gross.

BUT

Your reaction to this environment is going too far. Disinfecting your phone constantly? Concerns about people spitting in the trash? Not eating any leftovers or drinking from any container you didn’t open yourself? These are going too far. As others have pointed out, some contact with germs is important to maintain a healthy immune system.

There’s a middle-ground that both you AND your family are missing.

Wash your hands after using the bathroom and before eating, sure. Don’t leave things that rot out in the open, of course.

Putting the garbage can next to the table while clearing it? Totally fine. Eating leftovers that have been refrigerated for a day? Totally fine.

I understand why you’ve developed hyper-vigilence living in that kind of environment. It makes sense. But I think you’re probably overcompensating.

You might benefit from learning more about the human immune system, food safety, and other science-based topics. Did you know that urine, for example, is sterile? You can literally safely drink human urine (with some exceptions). Feces, on the other hand, is total opposite of sterile.

I’m sorry you have to live in such a gross environment. I hope you can find a way to convince your family to meet you in the middle.

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- starlinguk@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I disagree. OP is not going to far. There’s no way they’re going to be completely shielded against bacteria in that house, so it’snot going to affect their immune system. They’re absolutely doing the right thing cleaning their phone and refusing to eat leftovers. Their parents have a serious problem and that place isn’t safe to live in.
  
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  - neatchee@piefed.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    This type of environment, and OPs reaction to it, is how people develop compulsive behaviors that are unhealthy. You can hear it in how they talk about even simple things, like their extreme disgust towards saliva deposited in a trash can. Revulsion towards saliva in a trash can is not normal. Saliva left on a surface? Or on their person? Sure, gross. But a trash can is an appropriate place for someone to spit. It doesn’t deserve the vehement disgust OP displays.
    
    I’m not diminishing how unhygienic and disgusting their family is. The photos make it clear that they live in a completely inexcusable level of filth. I just don’t want OP to continue down this path of obsessive, compulsive cleanliness. There’s a happy medium.
    
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blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I thought you were being a germaphobe until I saw the pictures.

Fucking hell.

I live in a cluttered house, floordrobe et al.

I do keep it clean, just not tidy.

What the fuck is in the white bowl below the metal bowl with what I can only presume is batter in?

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- Epzillon@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Yeah, same here. Sounded germophobic but with the context of the pictures it makes way more sense. In a generally clean and tidy house these things would not be that big of a deal but in this case i think its fair for OP to be disturbed by it. Im not a overly clean person, our apartment gets pretty messy sometimes but never to that degree or to a point where it looks that messy, especially not for prolonged periods of time.
  
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entropiclyclaude@lemmy.wtf ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Both? But not because you’re mental - you’re developing a phobia because of your surroundings?

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ottieplod@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I know your question was about germs and you got plenty of feedback already. For what it’s worth I agree with the tenor that you are right to be bothered.

However, am far more concerned by the water leak. It looks like you have hoisted wooden ceilings. You need to get the leak fixed ASAP and have someone check the joists are still ok. Water damage like this can rot the wood and a full bathtub can be heavy enough to break through the ceiling. This almost happened in my parents house.

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- DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Bruh its been like years…
  
  It used to splatter all over the place… so dad just like… idk… I think he tried to fix it but can’t… like multiple times already… so I think he just took apart the ceiling boards and made it so it leaks straight down…
  
  The heater is also randomly stops working during winter… refrigerator sometimes lets the freezer compartment melt so you can’t trust ice cream to remain good, so if there is ever ice cream, you have to eat it all fast before it “randomly” stops being below 0
  
  There are cracks in the walls and near windows…
  
  Roaches infested most of the house… all food have to be in containers or else its gonna get contaminated…
  
  Used to have a mouse infestation until we got a cat.
  
  Arrrrrrgh…
  
  They are reluctant to get professionals to fix things unless there’s no other choice. Cuz “paying people to do things is a scam”…
  
  So parents just use traps for cockroaches… and hit/squish them as they see them… we’ve been at this problem for years…
  
  Sometimes mom barges in and try to “clear the area of cockroaches” and makes so much noise I can hardly sleep… like I’m half awake and anxious all the time when she’s near me and doing that “打曱甴”… I wanna put a mouse trap there and watch her step on it to make a point to STOP BOTHERING ME WHILE I SLEEP jesus christ…
  
  I might have found out one of the root causes of my anxiety and depression…
  
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  - ottieplod@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    I’m sorry. That really sucks. I hope you can move out soon and to a place that you can keep clean and safe.
    
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BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You are normal

That level of unhygiene is insane

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disregardable@lemmy.zip ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You absolutely have to wash your hands with soap after using the bathroom. Although keep in mind that men are able to urinate without touching anything unclean. But it’s not a big deal if the trash can is touching something. It’s not like infectious disease is in it. There are normal germs, and there are harmful germs. You need to be concerned about the harmful ones, not necessarily the normal ones.

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- DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  
  Although keep in mind that men are able to urinate without touching anything unclean.
  
  But I heard my mom went into the bathroom, touched a lid thing, peed, then touch the thing to flush the toilet, then I did not hear the tap run… so sometimes I was like “MOM WASH YOUR HANDS” but mom replied “people who work in restaurants are even worse”, washed her hands that one time (idk if soap was even used), then proceeds to never wash hands the following times…
  
  Ugh…
  
  I remember when I was a kid… I was the one who had to be reminded by her to wash hands… now its flipped… the heck…
  
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vikinghoarder@infosec.pub ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Looking at the pictures, there doesn’t seem to be a habit of cleaning and tidying up. My recommendation would be for you to clean that and tidy it up as best as you can and talk to everybody to try to keep it tidy after. It will be a lot of work, but the difference might be felt by them and they might want to keep it tidy and clean.

The habit must be built over time, try to talk to them to help keeping it tidy, it will not be easy and overnight, bad habits are hard to let go. But if you feel it is not good as it is, take the initiative!

Try to make a morning in saturday or sunday to be the cleaning time, or something like that. First show them how great looking it can be and then schedule the cleaning time so it does not accumulate over time.

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- DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  
  My recommendation would be for you to clean that and tidy it up as best as you can and talk to everybody to try to keep it tidy after. It will be a lot of work, but the difference might be felt by them and they might want to keep it tidy and clean.
  
  The habit must be built over time, try to talk to them to help keeping it tidy, it will not be easy and overnight, bad habits are hard to let go.
  
  I think its a waste of effort.
  
  Like… it looks clean when guests visit…
  
  Then guests leave and within a week its back to this again…
  
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cecilkorik@lemmy.ca ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I subscribe to the George Carlin immunity theory. Your immune system is not a perfect machine, but it’s evolved for thousands of years to be able to defend us against the bad germs we are exposed to. Key phrase there is exposed to. If you are never exposed to at least small amounts of germs, your immune system has no training and will be unable to respond effectively to real threats, or it will freak out and panic at minor threats, making you sick from things that wouldn’t even bother someone else, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In George Carlin’s monologue, which I think is faithfully reproduced in text form here he makes the observation that for his whole childhood he swam in the Hudson River with raw sewage, and he never gets sick. The point he makes is most people’s immune systems cower and hide when they encounter an unknown pathogen, meanwhile his immune system is patrolling his body with automatic rifles and grenades and a shoot-first-ask-questions-later policy.

Most germophobia is sold to us by cleaning product companies (through government representatives that they own). It’s all a fucking scam, they want to convince us to do things that make us sick and then sell us the cures and have the cures also make us sick so they can sell us cures for that too.

Thousands of years of evolution may not be perfect, but I trust it more than I trust these fucking corporate fucks, that’s for sure.

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- starlinguk@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  OP isn’t a germophobe. Has anyone who says this actually looked at the pictures?
  
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- JohnnyCanuck@lemmy.ca ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  
  Your immune system is not a perfect machine, but it’s evolved for thousands [sic] of years to be able to defend us against the bad germs we are exposed to.
  
  Millions of years. Not thousands.
  
  People also used to get sick a lot more and die a lot younger before we understood germs. The immune system isn’t magic, it helps protect us but if you get the wrong bug or too much of a bad bug, it can fail. Also, it evolved when we were living in caves and trees, not in cities and houses.
  
  The ramifications of getting sick can go well beyond the acute symptoms you see (cold, cough, headache, vomiting, diarrhea, etc.) There can be long term, chronic, hidden affects you don’t realize, like heart or other organ problems.
  
  Also, our immune system is not particularly good at fighting off parasites, and they can do real damage.
  
  You shouldn’t walk around in a hazmat suit, but practicing basic hygiene and avoiding extreme exposure are important to short term and long term health.
  
  And, washing your hands after you use the bathroom isn’t just for your own health, it’s also for the health of others. Not washing your hands is disrespectful to everyone else.
  
  Thousands [sic] of years of evolution may not be perfect, but I trust it more than I trust these fucking corporate fucks, that’s for sure.
  
  Right, it’s just corporate fucks and lobbying. Best to trust a comedian over the last 150+ years of fucking science. George Carlin was great, but come on. Spouting off his anecdotal feelings about health theory as fact? Yeesh.
  
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leftascenter@jlai.lu ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Everything else being said, putting TP in a specific garbage can is normal when toilet plumbing is not to the same standard and TP would clog it.

I learned this travelling.

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rumschlumpel@feddit.org ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Washing hands with soap is definitely important. IDK that you’d really get sick from a trash can being carried around the kitchen, but it sounds like your mom just generally doesn’t wash her hands after touching dirty stuff. Some germs are more harmful than others, I wouldn’t trust her around chicken or when there’s actually someone in the household with an infectious disease …

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Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
That’s pretty gross, definitely against all recommendations. I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. I also don’t think it’s super rare, and the average person probably won’t get sick from it that often. But I hold myself and those I care about to higher standards.

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Archangel1313@lemmy.ca ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
What kind of toxic waste are you putting in your home trash can? Do you put dirty diapers in it? Raw meat? Dead animals?

If it was a dumpster sitting in the back alley behind a brothel…yeah, casual contact may be hazardous to your health. But, a f it’s just the run-of-the-mill household trash, then it’s relatively harmless.

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- DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Just normal trash… sometimes they spit in the trash can… so there’s that… saliva is disgusting…
  
  So… okay my house is kinda fucked up…
  
  There’s this issue with the 2nd floor bathtub randomly leaking…
  
  Here’s a picture of what the ceiling looks like right now:
  
  Image
  
  So they had to put a container below where it leaks:
  
  Image
  
  So they sometimes take this container and put it on the table to collect the trash… Like ON THE TABLE…
  
  Ewww bathtub drain water is gonna contaminate it…
  
  Also the table looks like this right now:
  
  Image
  
  Literally like 95% of the stuff on there stays on there like 365 days a year… its been like this since like 2017 as far as I can remember…
  
  Maybe if guests come they clear the table… then aftet they leave shit goes back to the old ways…
  
  Also, regarding the bathroom… nah… I’ll spare you the photo… don’t even want that nasty image in my photo album… just picture a small bin next to the toilet with a bunch of USED toilet paper…
  
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  - bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Woahhh yikes… Thats hoarder level bad
    
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  - pomfegranate@sh.itjust.works ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    These really should’ve been in the original post…
    
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  - rumschlumpel@feddit.org ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Damn, I thought my parents’ kitchen looked like a mess, and I’m not exactly a neat freak myself.
    
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  - Archangel1313@lemmy.ca ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Ok. Yup. I sincerely apologize for the sarcasm. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your sense of cleanliness.
    
    In all seriousness, I was even going to suggest that maybe occasionally washing the garbage can itself might make you feel better, but…I don’t think that would help.
    
    May I suggest fire, instead? Just some good ol’ gasoline and a match?
    
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serpineslair@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Don’t forget some germs are necessary to build immunity, if u isolate your self completely you will do more harm then good. If you have an illness or condition then yeah u make sense.

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- DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  FUCK
  
  Covid destroyed my sanity… 😭
  
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  - starlinguk@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Viruses are evil. You don’t want any virus. Some bacteria are fine, but viruses never are. My boss is a virologist. The response to Covid infuriated her. She saw the whole long covid thing coming from miles away.
    
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muntedcrocodile@hilariouschaos.com ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I’ve found that the human body is remarkably resistant to a lot of shit the germaphobe thing has gone a bit far imo. That been said ur house looks like a fucking shithole. I’d be more worried about the mental toll living in a pigstye like that. That’s fucking disgusting not necessarily a health risk unless u got mould on shit ur eating (and even then odds are ur fine, most moulds are nontoxic, only a few can kill you).

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Retail4068@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Afraid, no, that’s insane.

Annoyed and mad yes.

You aren’t going to get sick. It’s just disgusting.

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SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
When did you last disinfect your phone?

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- DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Like right now…
  
  Just been in the common areas for food and I feel kinda contaminated so I wipe down my phone with disinfectant wipes and like areas of my clothes or my body that made contact with stuff… or like if I feel like someone was talking and feel like they might have accidentally spit over me while talking
  
  I also dont trust any leftovers… or any open bottle of water or soda…
  
  Like I feel like my older brother might contaminate it… he drank out of a milk container with his mouth… so that’s around when I stopped having cereal…
  
  I feel like he’s TRYING to poison me or something…
  
  Okay I sound kinda germaphobic don’t I?
  
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  - Asetru@feddit.org ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    You do.
    
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