I cook at home because of restaurant prices and tip culture. Driving everywhere sucks. Everything feels miles away so good luck walking.
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Americans: How the hell do you meet new people or get into relationships after college?
Submitted 2 weeks ago by Bonje@lemmy.world to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
Spaniard@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Asafum@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I don’t. Been single for almost 10 years now. Tried online dating for 8 of those 10 years with absolutely no luck. Made things worse by renting a garage “apartment” so I could live closer to my job which is way out in old rich people land…
So I just gave up and accepted that I’ll be single living in someone else’s garage/basement until I decide I’ve had enough and walk deep into the woods somewhere to “flip the off switch” as it were.
IWW4@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
I can only answer this based on what I did.
After college I joined the Army. it is easier to meet people in the Army than it is in college. The army was wild. The days last forever but the weeks go by quick. In the army it is not uncommon to meet someone and by the end of the day they are the best friend you ever had and two weeks later you don’t see them again.
After the Army I settled in a suburban area started working a civilian job and raised my family. I met my best friend as he lived two doors down from us and his two kids were one year younger and one year older than my kid, so we were the two dads watching over the kids in the neighborhood.
From there we started lifting weights together, taking our families to football games and having cookouts together. We also had other families in the neighborhood come and go.
I also made friends through work. I worked in IT so it was a fun job and the people I worked with were great.
The most important thing is proximity.
ameancow@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
While I get the sentiment about comradery and connection through the focused goals, intense time investment and hardships that military training gives you… I think I’m going to recommend people find ways to connect that don’t lead to potentially murdering Iranians or getting murdered by drones in the wreckage of Tehran or wherever we decide to “freedom” next.
TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Lmao don’t join the military
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You talk to them.
StrawberryPigtails@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
“Hi, my name is…”
Admittedly, most of my friends are made at work, however it’s not impossible to meet people in other places. It really just boils down to going places other people are, smiling, and saying “Hello” or “Cool <whatever you find interesting about them>” to a lot of people. If you’re at a store and see someone struggling to load their car or truck, ask if you can give them a hand.
Probably will go no further than that most of the time, however, it might just make their day. Which they will remember. Might have been the first compliment they’ve gotten in a while. Might have been the first time anyone has offered to help them without asking anything in return.
Ever now and then, though, you’ll find yourself with a new friend with a common interest. Probably just for the moment, but if you see them again, say “hi” again. If you’ve got something you think is cool that they might also find interesting, perhaps show it off.
And remember their name. It can help to work it into the conversation. Seriously, Bonje. People like hearing their own name in friendly contexts.
Relationships are really just a longer term version of this with people you already have met.
If this sounds a bit like sales, you ain’t half wrong. What you are selling is you. The payment you are asking for their time, their attention.
Don’t be pushy. Accept no as an answer. But say “hello” to everyone.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yep. Meeting people is boring and hard and most people are not going to be interested in interacting with you. But some will. And you will get to know them and maybe you will not be interested in them. That’s fine.
The problem is people take stuff so personally.
makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Since you’re here I’ll assume you’re a nerd and suggest getting into Magic:the Gathering. You can learn to play on Arena for free and then buy a pre-made commander deck. At that point you can go to local game stores and ask when they have open play nights. The nice thing about magic is that the games take a long time to play so there’re a lot of opportunities to socialize with the people you play with and people nearby. Similarly if you can find an active Killer Queen cabinet around you those people are always desperate for players and it’s super fun
If you’re less of a nerd dance classes are more active and likewise force you to be in an intimate space with someone which will usually force you to socialize. You seem opposed to bars but karaoke crowds tend to be the same week after week, and you have to wait your turn, so it’s another socialization venue
alternategait@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
“If you’re less of a nerd”
I don’t know, most people I’ve ever met who like Lindy Hop are huge fucking nerds.
Witchfire@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Hobbies. Groups. Bars/clubs. Anything that fosters community. Find somewhere that cultivates a shared interest and engage with others, they aren’t necessarily going to come to you
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 2 weeks ago
Don’t bother. Most people suck anyway.
WraithGear@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
good question, it’s not been going well for me
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I really only meet people through work.
And most all of my rare social events are with friends I’ve had for 30 years.
Signtist@bookwyr.me 2 weeks ago
I spent a good few hours every day on a dating site, making sure to really read through profiles and think of something interesting and engaging to talk about. I might’ve just been lucky, but I got a good amount of responses despite my less-than-ideal looks. Found one girl I clicked with, and 9 years later she’s now my wife.
Nikokin@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Play pinball
Janx@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
You’d have to be some sort of wizard to get good at that!
cattywampas@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I met my fiancee on bumble.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Meet people: hobby or spiritual community are the two big ones most people meet a partner at. Look up cheap hobbies in particular something like a walking club.
Cheap places to take a girl:
fish around in conversations for her favorite food. Pick the prettiest spot within walking distance. Pick somewhere out of the way but visible to passerby like the edge of a park. Check the calendar for favorable weather. Bring a blanket, that favorite food, and anything needed to make the environment comfy like an umbrella.
if it’s just not the time of year for favorable weather book a library or community center presentation room and in addition to food fish around in convos for a favorite movie. Still bring a large blanket and push the tables and wheely chairs out of the way.
Any partner who finds effort over cash undesirable is just not a good fit for your life right now.
Randomgal@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Coming off as TOO effortful will also count against you. Normal people don’t go all out for someone they just met or are just starting to meet.
These are good second date ideas. Might want to keep it simple at first.