Comments

• Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  FB is leaking.

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• SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  So if you’re asleep at 6am, how do you know it’s happening at 6am as opposed to 5am or 630am?

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  • FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wife told him

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    • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Even worse. How did the wife tell him “you shit your pants again at the same time as always” instead of waking him up early to avoid this?

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  • saltesc@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Half wakrs up mid-poop, “Fuck it”, goes back to sleep.

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  • you_are_dust@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Poop forensics.

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    • SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Fecal forensics*

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  • nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Smort butt plug posts to X when it gets pushed out, every day at 0600. Smort diaper wakes up our boi when ejected poo is staying too long inside.

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• sem@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This is more funny when you read it manga style.

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• baggachipz@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  How do you wake up a 7AM? Do you have to whisper into its ear “eight nine” and it gets hungry and jumps out of bed?

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• OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  “Oh, yeah you shouldn’t do that. Here’s 6 month’s prescription of OxyContin”

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  • how_we_burned@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s crazy how they give that shit out once you pass a certain age.

    And yet if you have cancer or a serious, chronic or otherwise illness/injury you it’s like “have you tried paracetamol”?

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    • OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Lol yeah, it’s like by that point the Government are like “fuck it, you aint got long left either way, do wat evz bro”

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    • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      They’ll refill it forever too, even if it was supposed to just be a recovery aid. Seen more than one elder become addicted.

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• 2hundredpancakes@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Just set your alarm for 5:59 idiot. Problem solved, your copay is $250

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• supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This is why you need a presidential aide to wake you up Don, you can’t keep firing them just because waking up always puts you in a tantrum.

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• bridgeburner@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  67

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• Donkter@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  DAE pewp?

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• doug@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  No I mean what’s your problem with me? You haven’t been the same since that moment we had in the sauna. Is it me?

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