[deleted]
My hot/shit take. It’s not ableist to say any disability makes you uncomfortable. Everybody is entitled to their feelings and discomfort is one of those. What makes it ableist is how you manage that feeling. If this ex-friend as you detailed stats trying to poison other friends against you, that’s bad. If they try to limit only their own interactions with you, even if it costs them friends or otherwise enjoyable times, in an effort to not sour the mood of the group or to avoid their own discomfort, that’s OK.
My philosophy is that everyone is at least a little bit bigoted. It’s simply a matter of to what degree but more importantly how they manage it. If someone is purely racist down to their core, but they do everything they can to avoid minorities and don’t try to spread their views, that’s not terrible. If they understand it’s wrong and try to minimize their impact in that regard, I think that should be allowed. I wouldn’t necessarily say applauded, but certainly not condemned.
FriendOfDeSoto@startrek.website 1 day ago
I don’t think those particular comments, in writing and devoid of tone, not meant for public distribution (and she’s probably not running for political office or something justifying higher scrutiny), necessarily qualify as ableist per se, more skirting the line. I’ve said very dumb things in my youth and context is important, even in chat threads. But the rest of the picture you painted of that person is: asshole. So for my money it doesn’t really matter if she ticked that particular box as well. Stay away.
blarghly@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yeah, honestly OP asking “is this ablist” is a bit of a red flag given the picture they have painted. If they were an otherwise “nice” person using ablist language, then this language and possible categorization might be a clue to tell us more about who they really are. But if we already know they are a piece of shit… it doesn’t really matter what flavor of -ist they are. Just don’t interact with them. Don’t think about them. Problem solved. More labelling isn’t needed.
DomeGuy@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Why should abelsim be given latitude that we wouldn’t extend to racism, sexism, or anti-Semitism?
My opinion is that embarrassed bigotry in private is still bigotry. It’s good that those with such feelings recognize the harm that they bring (or at least the public shaming that they can suffer), but it makes for a simpler life to just excise such hatreds whenever you can.
FriendOfDeSoto@startrek.website 1 day ago
I did not have the feeling that we’re talking about fully formed adults here.
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Context matters.
“Men make me uncomfortable.” Could or could not be sexist. It would depend on why one feels uncomfortable and how they act on that feeling.
It’s a very fine line.
Given the additional context provided by OP… yeah she’s definitely ableist.