Would it be weird of me to send friend requests to old friends I knew in school 15 years ago?

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stacyasks@lemmy.cafe⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

I’m female and 30. Long story short I’ve been feeling very lonely and depressed lately, I’ve also lost a lot of time due to health problems so my life kind of paused soon after I finished highschool. I keep thinking of warmer memories and I keep getting sentimental over old friends especially because right now I don’t have any real life friends to turn to because everyone parted ways and I was bedbound for many years.

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Comments

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DarkShaggy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I don’t think so. Chances are they’d love to hear from you.

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- BlackArtist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Yeah absolutely, I’d love nothing more than to hear from old school friends. OP, do it, message them.
  
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IWW4@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Not at all. That usage was one of the original reasons Facebook exploded. I did exactly what you are asking about 15 years ago.

One thing I learned real quick is that there is a reason I disconnected with those people in the first place.

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redlemace@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Not weird at all. But don’t get your hopes to high up, people moved on and lots have changed in 15 years. Likely it’s not gonna be like it was back then. But nothing to loose other friendships can grow. often they are happy with it.

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swordgeek@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Speaking as a guy approaching 60, I say get in touch.

It iis so easy to lose friends, and increasingly harder to make new ones as we age. Hold onto those who knew you best. Maybe some won’t survive and maybe you’ll become closer friends with those you didn’t know that well, but make the effort, and do it now.

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FriendOfDeSoto@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I don’t think it would be weird. It’s up to them if they accept or not. I would just suggest you make parallel plans as well to meet new people. A hobby group, a book club, etc.

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dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I think it would be both normal and probably welcomed by a lot of them (as long as you’re not pushing an MLM.) Worst case scenario, they decline your friend request, but it’s not “weird.”

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kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I remember when that was all anyone did with Facebook.

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njordomir@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I am thrilled every time I have the chance to reconnect with someone from high school whether it’s a student or a former teacher. Also, I’m close with someone who went through a period of physical limitations and I’m sorry to hear how this is affecting your social life. Even as a third party to my close friend’s experience, I can still conjour up powerful feelings of loneliness based on their experience.

I hope you have some great moments of reconnection!

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Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Dude, hit them up! They’re feeling it too

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higgsboson@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Completely normal.

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XeroxCool@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
There’s nothing to lose by trying as long as you accept that the worst case scenario is they’re still not part of your life.

Maintaining relationships is hard. They’re likely minimally social these days as well. Somewhere around your age is where many people suddenly feel lonely. It’s a tough lesson on the concept of “friends of proximity”. That’s usually a negative term, but, quite frankly, I believe all friends are friends of proximity. If you change proximity (new job, differetlnt school, drop a hobby, move, etc), you have to work harder to stay in each other’s orbits. Shortened tangent: this is something I’m at peace with now. Instead of putting asterisks next to everyone that’s a work friend or hobby friend, they’re just friends. I don’t know when that friendship will end, so I focus on enjoying the current relationship.

The point I’m coming to is that, while I understand this is a unique situation for you, it’s a common general feeling. That will make it tough to rejoin social circles that likely don’t exist anymore. But, if you do manage to meet up, have at it. Enjoy it. Perhaps there are other people in your orbit that can be reevaluated as a friend. Maybe you can find something to do with them, even if it’s just a very basic hangout after work or something. I find many people are hesitant because they also think of these friendships as temporary, but hopefully you can get a feel for options and feedback. I know your post was about old friends, but I’m hoping they’re not your only option.

And please, please, do not take social media posts as their daily diary. It’s so hard to accept, but every day they’re not posting, they’re just as bored and alone as everyone else scrolling. Social media is the high lights reel. So much of it is projection.

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- Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  
  worst case scenario is they’re still not part of your life.
  
  What? That’s not true at all! They could reconnect with you over a 12 month span.
  
  Then after they have your trust, and you’ve hung out a handfull of times, you get together, and they host a superbowl party. Everybody gets drunk, and has a good time…
  
  …and then at 4am you wake up chained down to a table. Now he’s harvesting your kidneys!
  
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  - XeroxCool@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I guess they could also jump on the opportunity to pitch a pyramid scheme, too.
    
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adespoton@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Depends… do you consider friend requests weird?

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Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Similar to something I’ve been thinking about for a New Year’s resolution. (Which is something I’ve never really done, so I don’t know why I picked New Year’s)

Reach out to one person from the past every day. Maybe a close friend that moved away, maybe just someone I worked with 15 years ago and got along with. Just check in, say hi, and throw in something that I miss or appreciated about them.

I’ve been feeling really down the last few months, and it would probably feel nice to spread some positivity.

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blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Seconding the other comment, back in 2005 when I got it at Uni, all I did was search for people I had lost contact with from school and old jobs.

Just go for it, if it turns out that they’ve turned into mentalists you can just block them

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Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Yes

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