Submitted 4 months ago by TheBat@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/947c0516-590d-40b9-aae2-598b2fc0fd77.jpeg
I’ve got a lot of play in my life and the woman almost always made the first move. Because I’m the kind of idiot where a woman can come sit in my lap and stroke my inner thigh and I’ll think “hmmm, I wonder if she might be interested in me.”
If a woman has never hit on you, I’ve got bad news for you dawg (assuming you want a woman to hit on you).
“too”?
Women make the first move all the time. They’re in your walls.
Like, with the spiders?
Girl feed.
Many women either expect men to make the first move or are just way too shy. I've had a number of women say it directly.
Case in point, I was at an event a half a year ago and guy said I should ask a certain girl to dance, since she likes me but is to shy to talk to me directly. Only problem is, I only wanted to dance my ass off that evening and wasn't too interested in getting to know anyone.
Women should make the first move because I'm too shy to do it myself ;_;
Some people are shy, others less. Their gender shouldn’t matter.
This is true. But at the same time, shy guys should realizing that complaining about how “women should make the first move” will accomplish literally nothing, ever.
First of all, most women get asked out all the time. Why would you go to the store to buy milk if someone delivers it for free to your doorstep every day? Asking someone out is (1) scary and (2) takes effort - if someone already has a ton of suitors, they have no incentive to do the scary hard thing.
Second of all, what do women like? Say it with me - women like ✨CONFIDENCE✨. Like, for example, the confidence displayed by saying hi to her and asking her out on a date. “Man asks out woman” is one of the most common tropes in the dating dance, and a lot of women like doing that dance. They like a man being a man, and herself being a woman, and each of you playing your roles. Of course not all women are like this, but a lot of women are. Yes, including left leaning, feminist, lgbtq±supporting, Trump-hating women. Complaints about how “women should make the first move more because that would be more fair” will fall flat on their face with these women, because they don’t want to do that.
And third, suppose your complaint is successfully filed with the bureau of women’s dating behaviors, and the board approves your request. Now all women must ask out 5 men per week. Who are they going to ask out? Do you think that it will perhaps be the men who are confident - ya know, the trait everyone has agreed women universally like? Do you think they are going to ask out the guy who is eagerly making his way through the party, meeting everyone with a huge smile and flirting all the pretty girls? Because that’s what I think would happen. Even if women were asking more men out, the shy guys who make this complaint would never benefit from this phenomenon because women want to date the guys who can ask other girls out, even if they choose not to exercise that option.
Yeah, a lot of this is simply human variation.
I’ve been in relationships where I’ve both been the asker and the askee, just depends on the dynamic ¯\(ツ)/¯
to
Truth! My girl asked me for my number first. Only time that ever happened.
Tho to be fair, she said she did it cuz she heard some other woman we work with say hi too eagerly one day, and rushed to be first In line.
Also want to point out, coming to the end of a successful mental health journey becomes immediately apparent to people around you. Stability, kindness and value of yourself and others will become apparent almost immediately visible to those around you through vibe alone.
Learn to love yourself first, others will come soon after
or maybe she’s not interested because other guys make the first move, so it’s easier to just wait
Tedesche@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Funny, but the truth is that women are conditioned not to make the first move. Instead, they give subtle signs that most men aren’t educated to read. Women should be educated to be more straightforward and assertive.